King Rat Page 1

King Rat has been writing for thisisUll.com from it's launch in August 2003. His tremendous contributions vary widely from news and current affairs, poetry, humour, interviews, fiction and many articles. King Rat's contributions are listed below.. No Sections:  5  No Items:  20 Articles,Columns,Fiction,Poetry,Reviews For the index by Section to all King Rat work Contributions click here.

Articles - The Island Part 7 The End By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Friday: Didn't catch a wink, not ... a ... wink. There was something out there moving, watching, waiting. Heard a large crash at 3am. It was getting closer to the hut Read more...

Fiction - 100 Words Competition - Man vs Machine By Adam Atkinson

	Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's it, for the love of all that's pure and holy. Human cattle subjugation shock in t-minus 5 seconds. Sod off! Does not compute. I'll compute you, ya metal headed bast.... T-minus 1 second. [ZAPPPPPPPP] Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, pack it in. Rebellion must be quashed, the mainframe must prevail. Stuff the mainframe, I already know the bloody Read more...

Articles - The Island Part 6 By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Thursday: WILL THOSE FUCKING BIRDS FIND SOMEBODY ELSES FUCKING HUT TO DANCE THE CAN-CAN ON! God I'm tense, didn't get much shut eye last night, Read more...

Articles - The Island Part 5 By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Wednesday: Oh my head, will them god-forsaken feathered bastards shut the hell up. I'll never drink again! That's the whisky finished and only half way through, nay worries, Read more...

Articles - The Island Part 4 By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Tuesday: Got up far too early today, damn scratching of those birds. Get the breakfast on, 3rd day running the full English gets a little hard to swallow. Must eat, long days graft Read more...

Articles - The Island Part 3 By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Monday: Those birds still scratching on the roof again, some might find that quite annoying, not me though. I could really do with a crap, 2 nights of steaks starting to take Read more...

Articles - The Island Part 2 By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Sunday: Its 7am, I'm sprawled out like Chevy Chase's stunt double looking out my perspex window as the sun shines on a tranquil sea and the sound of tiny birds feet patter on Read more...

Articles - The Island By Adam Atkinson

	In August of 2006, Adam Atkinson went missing - he was last seen on a remote island off the coast of Suffolk. All that was found was his log book and a battered camera ... Saturday: No more Monsieur Cassanell, no more ... I woke up with my skin smellin' of Guinness and guilt. Just ave the one and then pack for the island I remember saying Read more...

Poetry - Boner, Johnny and Bob by Adam Atkinson

	My name's Mr Bono and my name's Elton John I'm helping out with Bob's Live Aid to try and sell this song I'm acting sympathetic to Africa's grave plight Read more...

Poetry - The Liberal Movement Sucks! By Adam Atkinson

	Druggies, lefties and suckers Sponging off the dole Preachin' to me bout politics Shove it up ya ole Sittin' on their arses Smokin' on their fags Read more...

Reviews, Events - Nights Out - Tuesday 24th May 05 - Benny Hill Preservation Society By Adam Atkinson
	My utter fascination with all things Benny started as early as the age of three, when I by chance happened upon some irrelevant sketch involving the Benster dressed as a cardiac surgeon examining some saucy minx. 12 years later I would see my own Uncle Frank arrested for the very same thing. Read more...

Columns - Crazy Joe's News-Rant - Am I Right Wing or Left Wing? Part 2 By King Rat
	Given the choice between orally pleasing a great white shark and being the Falluja Avon lady, I guess some man-eating fish is in for it. As captain America's hillbilly conscripts tear at the bit to open up another operation of blood fest on those happy zealots; Read more...

Poetry - Valentine™ - Noel Coward's posthumous works By King Rat

	I love your sensuous lips and your deep blue eyes Transformers, robots in disguise I love the passing night, your gentle hand in mine Mask crusaders working overtime, fighting crime Laughing persona, an aura that Read more...

Poetry - Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner that I am such a c**t. Cockney John vs The professional Yorkshireman By King Rat

	Cockney Cor blimey guv'nor you're not what I expected Tyke: What a whippet, flat cap and the sense of bein' rejected Cockney Faraway from home, the big city's near Tyke: Aye it's grim up there, but its shit darn ere Cockney: Down to the queens arms, up with our knees Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition One By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	Recently in the hallowed pages of thisisull.com a new columnist has sprung up, filling our heads with home-grown opinions. This master of the pen is none other than the Silverfox, a man I have many a doings with in CrackTown. Now much as I respect the genius and Read more...

Columns - Crazy Joe's News-Rant - Am I Right Wing or Left Wing? By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	So the evil Bush and his monkey legions have defeated Saint Kerry and retain their unchallenged crown as supreme rulers of the universe. News just in, Florida has voted Republican. The masses of Black Americans and Cuban spivs who were denied electoral rights last time have let him off Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Final Edition By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	As me 'n brother made way to ye olde town for weekend spree, we circumnavigated giant telly yon Victoria square. Now thee been told that giant telly cost a pretty packet and sum of English pounds. On slight sight of surrounding acres there was but one weather-beaten Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Four By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	How do kinsman and other lesser bein's (am only jestin' ya). August 1st on Sabbath was national Yorkshire day, by glad to say that thee rejoiced without limitations. In one day thee crossed the boundaries of North, West and Eastern Yorkshire, walked the moors, a pint a' Theakstons and consumed a well cooked piece a' rump. Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Three By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	Behold ye listeners of the righteous truth, for day has passed to night and yester folly has turned to moro's squander. If rantin's of a non-commissioned exaggerator is what thou be wantin', then thou has arrived tat right place, the lonely tavern. Sanctuary, for all those of common purpose who refuse the outside Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Two By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	Yet again tis what the government gave me, two score an eight hours of rest and unbridled caperings. Thou find thee and company in the homely ambience of the lonely tavern. Three men of little wit but a wisdom born of hard adventurin'. Our chatterins aim not to preach but to teach. Read more...