Beinvenue: Paris in 3 Days for Less Than 100,000 Calories! (4/5) By Ruth

(1/5), (2/5), (3/5), (4/5), (5/5).

We wandered through Montmartre and lingered over the little shops before stopping for lunch at a thoroughly French restaurant called La Mascotte. The restaurant was crowded with boisterous rugby fans drinking and laughing. Leaving the restaurant, we passed by many little boutiques with an endless array of fabulous clothes. I had to wonder who buys such things, because the Parisian women weren't wearing them. I bought a dress anyway; it's my job. We came upon a small plaza with a trampoline, and I found myself galloping towards it. As a mother, I'm always worried about my kids breaking their necks and needing wheelchairs.

However, as a kid I did gymnastics. The kid won this debate. I climbed on and soon found myself harnessed with enough leather straps and ropes to make bad porn.

With spinal safety secured, Alain was worried I'd throw up my lovely lunch of olive encrusted sole. He doesn't know me: that's only keg stands. And the beer pours out your nose anyway. I bounced around and did a few back flips before unshackling and heading onward. We walked towards Centre Pompidou. Standing in the mammoth lobby, the visitor is confronted with a large mobile bearing the image of the museum's namesake, and a tangle of primary blue pipes. Dani said, ''It's like Ikea.� Wow.

We slid in and out pretty quickly and headed to Le Marais. Dani's friend suggested we see this interesting neighborhood, which can loosely be characterized as a Jewish-Gay-Yuppie-Fashion amalgam. We passed a group of Hassidic boys dancing and singing in the street. There were kosher bakeries and Judaica shops in this area.

Walking on, we hit some artsy fashion type stores. And, when I saw Andy Warhol's rendition of Marilyn Monroe with a huge banana by her mouth, I knew we'd entered gay space. We stopped for some amazing ice cream at Berthillon on Ile Saint Louis, opposite le Marais. Alain insisted this stuff was better than Ben and Jerry's. I agree, although am not an aficionado in this area. Dani retained her reservations and allegiance to the Vermont duo. When Dani asked the waitress for a cone with her ice cream, the other patrons went silent and stared, waiting for a fight to erupt. Like ''Operation Enduring Cone� I guess...

After powernaps, we went to Brasserie Lipp on Saint Germain for a late Friday evening supper. This eatery is the quintessential 'see and be seen' type of establishment. Famous people such as Hemingway have their photos on proud display. I had the best duck of my life, and sampled Alain's steak tartare. It's probably not kosher, but I'd already defiled myself with oysters on the half shell at lunch, so whatever... Shabbat Shalom: Saturday was rainy, so after dropping Dani at the train station, we just hung out. Alain cooked a bit.

He steamed some leeks that were lovely and we had them with eggs prepared with a finely grated Parmesan cheese. Originally planning to tour about on his motorcycle, the two of us decided doing nothing was a better option. My feet were thrilled.

Continued ... next page (5/5)

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