A Friend Indeed By Cilla

What do I do when I feel hopeless, sad, misunderstood or depressed? I talk about it. Ask anyone who knows me, I can moan! The funny thing is, in my life, even if I feel like a moaner, I know I can talk.

I've always known that talking about problems helps and I've been lucky enough to feel able to do that with my good friends. But knowing something is right because theoretically it seems reasonable and seeing a theory proven are 2 different things.

What do you do when you feel down but there's really nobody to tell; Nobody who isn't bored with hearing it already, nobody who can be non-judgemental, nobody who will acknowledge that whatever it is that's getting you down is a problem for you, nobody who will listen? Do you visit your GP? Wait weeks for 'counselling'? Get more and more desperate?

But this is a crisis. You need help now. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but now. The chances are that all you need for the moment is a shoulder to lean on, some good old emotional support and another human being who will listen. If your problem is big enough to make you feel this way, then it's important enough to be taken seriously. No problem too small! The answers to most of our problems are within ourselves it's true, but sometimes we can't see. Sometimes we get in such a state that we can't see the wood for the trees. At worst, the black pit we find ourselves in is bottomless. But there IS someone to talk to. No matter how isolated you may feel in your pit of worry, there is the glimmer of a light just an arms length away. We talk about the Samaritans in a glib kind of way - No, no, I'd never feel bad or sad or lonely enough to have to call on them for help. That kind of thing.

Mo and I met Wendy, Director of the Hull branch of the Samaritans. She's an inspiration. One of those people who oozes warmth and has a natural ability to make you feel at home as soon as you see her. I'd expected her to be far more serious and secretive - don't ask me why, just my ignorance and prejudices I guess. Wendy spoke openly and was happy to answer any questions at all. She told us about herself and her own involvement with the Samaritans. She has been a volunteer for the Samaritans for 16 years, first introduced to them when she needed someone to talk to herself. continued below

A Friend Indeed continued By Cilla

The Hull branch is housed at 75, Spring Bank. It's a large building with winding passages and tiny comfy, quiet rooms to talk in. The huge basement is a training/conference room with facilities for seminars, talks and lectures. We watched a video shown to new Samaritan recruits. It was touching and inspiring.

Most problems seem to revolve around broken relationships but one persons problem is never the same as anyone else's. Samaritans cannot advise or counsel. They must listen only, helping explore strategies with their client into life and away from death.

Clients are given space, confidence and confidentiality to relax and feel that they can let the problem voice itself. The way I see it is that they've probably heard worse before, so there's no point holding back. There are currently 70 volunteers in Hull ranging from age 24 to 84. There are always 2 volunteers on duty together - all day and all night, all year.

The numbers have fallen considerably in Wendys experience. Fewer students volunteer these days, using the University Night Line instead or working to earn money to live.

Wendy spoke of the prison work she's involved with. She said it was hard work, finding volunteers within the inmates and preparing them to be Samaritans but it was really worthwhile. Something needs to be done to eliminate suicides within British prisons. As a Director, Wendy will talk to any group or organisation about the Samaritans. She often visits schools, aware that young people have problems they need to talk about too.

At the end of each shift, volunteers are given the chance to 'offload' their calls - talk to another volunteer about the work they've done during that shift. In this way, they can de-stress after what sometimes must be a fairly harrowing and exhausting few hours. The network of support for volunteers is really thorough and clever. There's always someone there to help.

This year the Samaritans celebrated their 50th Anniversary. The remnants of the celebrations were still visible in the basement in the shape of a couple of helium filled balloons, still afloat mid-air. I thought it was a shame we'd missed the opportunity to see that. Rumour has it the Samaritans do know how to party! I guess they have to.

I would like to thank Wendy for giving me personally such an insight into the reality of the Samaritans. I feel honoured to have met her and to hear what a fantastic job she's doing along with the other volunteers.

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