Write to Speak featuring Dennis Wild at The Adelphi Club - Thursday 5th August 2010 By Melanie Pearce

Photograph Gallery   Gallery 1,    Gallery 2,    Gallery 3.

The Write to Speak group has become an extended family and like all families they like to get together for a bit of a do. The chosen venue is the local Adelphi Club - round at mad Uncle Paul's house. Like any mad uncle's house, it's small, messy and always full of waifs and strays. You certainly wouldn't eat there but its home all the same.

'Dad', Mike (Watts) is busy arranging everyone, making sure they are all on time. Cadging drinks at every opportunity, he oversees the festivities. They are a diverse, modern family with tales-a-plenty. Enter Uncle Mark Walmsley. He has man flu again, but this time it's bad. He used to be a crack commando (shortly before their lass threw him out and shopped him to the social).

Next come the girls, all gob and glamour. Kerry-Joe (Pulford) is staying alive, Bronny's (Ellis) been to charity shop (and looks great) and Holly (Roach) is gonna rip someone's face off for staring at her boyfriend. You don't mess with these chicks! Grandad Dave Bannister is telling his war stories - it's said that he knew Churchill personally and battled a Messerschmitt with his bare hands.

Second cousin Rob (Swan) is battling with tourettes and shouts 'Cunt', loudly. He's amongst friends here but he's been banned from Netto again. This time, for life. Things are getting rowdy, Mohamed (Haidir) is here. He's third cousin, twice removed; the European arm of the family - Shirley's lad. He's 'down wiv da yoof, bruv' and goes into one. The crowd loves him. 'Dad' gives him a high-five and goes to mingle.

Auntie Cath (Scott) has been on the Babycham again and her 'Cock-a-fucking-doodle-doo' can be heard for miles. She is suffering sleep deprivation and the local RSPCA have been alerted. It's dodgy video time and in true party tradition, they have to be aired. Posh auntie Pam (Scobie) is telling of child killers and our Terry (Ireland) is complaining of fleas - or were the fleas complaining of him, not sure? Nana's (Pat Gray) been done for drunk driving. Again.

It's time for dad's guest of honour, 'Me mate, Dennis' (Wild). He's come all the way from Oz to be here. No expense has been spared. He travelled 12,000 miles and ended up on Witherensea beach, covered in sea weed. They dried him off and 'med 'im a brew'. In no time at all, he was good as new. After a great set, he was sent off with his bus fare and some sarnies and headed off, back North of Bewilderment with the promise of a speedy return and a touch of pleurisy.

Next up is alternative Ashley (Fisher). Telling cautionary tales of Messiah Airways, ascending to the great hereafter on a one way ticket. Although I feel that most of these guests are heading for warmer climes and won't make this passenger list? It's dad's turn to take the mike. He tells his usual story about how he picked up this rich bird then wins a scratch card - more like scratched his arse and robbed a bird. He's such a gobshite.

'Mum', Cilla has been furiously working away behind the scenes for weeks now. She's been living off coffee and fags and is knackered. It's been a great night but she can't wait for them all to 'frigg off 'ome' The 'Write' family have lots of friends. Some old, some new and yes most of them look like they belong in a police line-up but it's been a great crack and the usual suspects will be here for the next one.

It's been a privilege to spend time with this talented, multicultural bunch. There's more talent here than you could shake a mike stand at. Anyone who thought Hull was devoid of passion has been sorely disabused. Oh, just one more thing. Who exactly IS this Larkin geezer?

Photograph Gallery   Gallery 1,    Gallery 2,    Gallery 3.

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