in the warehouse
nearly empty shelves
they'd been ram raided
By a bunch
of discontented elves
infiltrated and recruited
association of packing staff
and demands and wants
to cynically laugh.
have held out for longer
was very clear
subverted his reindeer
matters even worse
Santa to the edge
blighters had gone and clamped
days to Christmas
He knew of
no other way
Than to meet
increased shift working pay
He'd do what
things back on track
he had enough
To fill his
for the Gordon's
For one last
large stiff gin
Then went to
forced and fixed grin
Copyright Terry Ireland 2009
Poetry - Letters From Santa By Bronwyn Ellis
Dear little children near and far,
No matter just how good you are,
I've had enough I'm sad to say,
I won't be working Christmas day.
And so I write my grave confession,
I've fallen to the lands recession,
My reindeer Rudolph broke his hoof,
My heating bill is through the roof,
Poetry - Competition Commission By Joe Hakim
The rain crackles like static
on the window
and the laptop sighs at the end
of the bed. Fucked off by
forces I control
I roll cigarettes and wait
for a break, and flip
bleached coppers into
Poetry - Mugabe's Prayer By Terry Ireland
Thank you Good Lord
For this fine day
On which my power
Still holds sway
You will of course
I think agree
You get much support Read more...
Poetry - The Vicious Circle By Lee Cassanell
Day twenty nine and the rum had run out
I woke up in the hold with the driest of mouths
In a dress made of lace and a pain in my arse
I recalled being tied to the foot of the mast
Then recoiled at the thought of the cabin boys fate
There were sharks off the bough so we used him as bait
And his screams as the fiends shredded meat from his chops Read more...
Poetry - Jesus (Who's He?) By Bernard Franklin
Sometimes I pray so hard at Christmas
That the world will look again,
At the reasons why we have to take
Sweet Jesus name in vain.
Where once the commercial side of Christmas
Was a seedy sin we bore,
It's now outstripped the gospel's teaching Read more...
Poetry - Commercial Christmas By Mark Walmsley
At last it's here the twenty fifth of December
The excitement, anticipation all our friends we remember
Food and presents, decorations in all their glory
Candles, mistletoe, mulled wine, chestnuts and holly
But in the North Pole, all is misery and gloom
No elves are working, no toys in any room
Last Christmas used all the money that was left Read more...
Poetry - 'Twas the Night Before Christmas By Bronwyn Ellis
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
But nobody lay sound asleep in their beds,
They were all sat in A and E, pissed out their heads.
There was Dancer and Prancer, the twins from East Hull,
No teeth and a beard, but they still tried to pull.
They drooled at the mouth, as they clutched their gold purses,
Poetry - Tidings of Comfort and Joy? By Terry Ireland
The Sally Army band play their Carols in the street,
Deftly being avoided by hurrying scurrying feet
Of those busy shoppers hoping they can still
Find more alleged bargains this season of good will.
She sees pinched strained faces of those passing by,
Notices how very few will look her in the eye; Read more...
Poetry - The Way You Love Me By Bronwyn Ellis
We kissed for hours
One thing led to another
And as I let my breath recover
You held me tight as if to say
Not I love you
...Just Thank you
I pressed my lips against your head
Poetry - Sweet As A Nut By Mike Watts
I'm under the shower
Just about finished
I turn the dial
Squeak back my wet hair
I pull back the curtain
And with one foot up
On the side of the bath
Poetry - Cornflower Blue By Dayne Coyne
I have seen you down the pubs and down the gay clubs
Seen you walking past my window in the evening
You've got hazy eyes of cornflower blue
Yes, you've got hazy eyes of cornflower blue
Yes, you've got hazy eyes of cornflower blue
And that night that we went for a pizza
Did they shine with a different hue?
Poetry - Middle Age Blues By Terry Ireland
Kids and tobacco, you've got to be joking.
Filter tips and low tar you don't call that smoking.
Do you remember Senior Service
and Capstan Full Strength?
Full of lethal potential
every inch of their length.
You cleared your tubes
with a good morning cough
Poetry - A Not So Subtle Reminder By Joe Hakim
I don't know what I was thinking -
it was probably some half-baked
way to demonstrate my masculinity
equally as stupid.
I was drunk,
and for some reason it seemed
Poetry - This is Love? By Phil Pretheroe
a justifyingly uplifting,
guilt free swagger.
No care in the world,
Poetry - Fun and Games By Mike Watts
I'm battling the shits
And an agony so intense
I feel as though rats
Are tearing their way
Out of me
I double over and clutch
Poetry - Posh Girl By Jim Higo
Your faux civility knows no bounds,
You smile at me like a Thai waitress,
and for a second you almost persuade me
that you are genuinely interested in what I'm saying.
But then you nod when you shouldn't and I know you don't care;
your mind is elsewhere,
like when intelligent people are forced to sit through soap operas. Read more...
Poetry - Arts and Culture in Hull By Joe Hakim
it's about who your friends are
and the circles you move in
it's about the boxes you tick
and the forms you fill out
it's about being the same as
and crushing individuality
it's about appealing to the