Picking Up Sluts In Retro By Joe Hakim

Me and me mates were in Retro last night and we met these tarts and we fucked 'em up the arse in Queen's Gardens, and I was pissed and it was cold so it took me ages to get an ard-on. We'd bin knockin' back Sambucas and Stellas with the fellas, and when we first saw 'em, and I cun't tell 'em what I thought, but then drinks were bought and the charm started to flow and I didn't want to blow it, but after a pause I sez,

"I'm Santa Claus so sit on me lap and I'll draw you a map that leads to me knob," and it was corny as fuck I know, but luck must 'ave bin with me coz it did the job, and inside I was prayin', secretly sayin' to mesen,

"It's a Monday night and usually it's shite, a few drinks a pizza a walk 'ome and a wank, and I'm not fussy I just want a bit of pussy before everythin' in front of me goes blank." So eventually we scored but after ten minutes of fumblin' I could see she was bored, so I shot me load, made me excuses, and left. And we didn't swap numbers, coz she might 'ave bin mingin', I cun't remember 'er face coz I was completely fuckin' wrecked.

Copyright © Joe Hakim 2006

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