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Poetry
Last Updated: 18/02/2008 20:27:04
Paranoid Conspiracy Theory Nursery Rhyme
By Joe Hakim

The dolphins leapt
over the pyramid,
and there's a secret base
on the moon,
and the giant lizards laughed
to see such fun,
and the Roswell crash
was just a weather balloon.

Listen to this
shit:

They want you to believe
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
when after all
it turns out he was whacked,
and all the King's horses
and all the King's men
went onto invade Iraq.

It's all true,
y'know.
Jack wasn't nimble,
Jack wasn't quick,
Jack got hit balls with a candlestick
in an interrogation cell
in Guantanamo bay.
His crime?
Forgetting to pay
his council tax bill on time.

I'm not lyin'
mate.

Little Bo Peep
lost her sheep,
and you can bet there was a predator lurking around,
somewhere in the background,
and the police force fumbled,
and the whole case crumbled,
and now the lost sheep will
never be found.

Summat's goin' on,
I tell yer.

Copyright © Joe Hakim 2008

Comments System Prototype Version 1.0 by Mo
Poetry - Wheel of Misfortune By Mike Watts
He went mad again
And blew his brick
Like the brainless prick
He's turning out to be,
It's the roulette you see,
Her tight little gash
Keeps swallowing cash Read more...

Poetry - the end-of-waiting room By Beth Mcgann.
i don't really give a fuck about anything.
does it show?
i must be belly-white by now,
running my finger around the edges of my cell.
i make geometry.
when the dirt comes it holds my palms together and forces little code-words out of the pores.
no mathematics. Read More

Poetry - Rock, Paper, Scissors and You and Me By Holly Roach
I'm rock and you're scissors
And I'll bludgeon you to death with boredom
Once again tonight.
I'm paper and you're rock,
I'll smother you too tight
That you can't break free.
I'm paper and you're scissors, Read more...

Poetry - Mimic By Katherine Horrex
My arms are folded.
Glancing at you I
catch you quick-glancing
at I, and a moment
later your arms become
folded. It's like a dance
for the reflective Read more...

Poetry - Somewhere in Mind By Mike Watts
This place has a crystal river
A shimmering snake of colour
Drizzling through a landscape
Of emerald and sapphire,
Framed and hung the thousand times
That I've closed my eyes
To see it. Read more...

Poetry - Another Shite Poem By The Criminally Awful Michelle Dee
A bed too far
A taxi too soon
Remember to note down
The name of that tune
Send a message to
An electric friend Read more...

Poetry - Poetry Is... By Joe Hakim
Some people
ask: What is
poetry?
Is it about
metre
rhyme
stanzas    Read more...

Poetry - Hey! You! or: Recommended reading: ever tried reading your bookcase sideways at three in the morning after an afternoon drinking bacardi and coke (if not maybe you should)?.
hey che
where are you today?
your primark t-shirt passed my way
no logo
brain-dead!
branded
cripple-handed Read more...

Poetry - Those Indie Chicks By Joe Hakim
With your asymmetrical haircuts
bleached almost white,
gonna have it large tonight,
drink and flirt
in your pencil thin skirts
and funky little tops
from the vintage clothes shops,    Read more...

Poetry - Fucking Jeremy Kyle (what you don't see in Tesco's).
the thompsons are not quite in their right minds
as if they had spent a long time in the hospital,
their horse-high ambition
destined for the knackers
she with the birds nest hair
tuts into the living room Read More

Poetry - The Lesson By Joe Hakim
There's a lesson to be learnt,
even if I don't know what it is.
I'm at a friend's house
and I'm checking my e-mail
and there it is:
a poetry organisation has
nominated me for    Read more...

Poetry - Heron By Katherine Horrex
Puffed up, portentous. Mortar board tassels
Flapping with distinction in the breeze, a heron
Has with ease cast off his fledgling's first year rags,
Graduating from estuary banks to next door's pond-
A task that has presented him a sharp thirst
It seems, as he sips at the siphon before sniping fish
Read more...

Poetry - Snakes and Things By Andrea Longstaff
When I take pictures my eyes realign
At the end of the day I sleep in a barn
The wandering insane impinged on my pain
So I listened to music 'till sunrise
When she asked for my name I said "I don't know"
I'd forgot who I was a long time ago Read more...

Poetry - Now She's Gone By Mike Watts
Every Friday was pizza night
And we'd share a large pepperoni
With extra chilli
And a box of fries
Which I always dished out 60/40
Because she was too gorgeous
To be ruined by equal portions. Read more...

Poetry - I Can't Speak For You By Paul England
every turn I ever took
left me questioning my mind
I'm picking through my closet
but the truth is all I find
life has left me lost
feeling only blind Read more...

Poetry - The Petite Bourgeoisie By Laura Fry
Your parents did their best for you
And that's why money's always meant a lot
They were never well-to-do
So you'd do so much better, so you thought
Baby-boomer, Sixties child
Sex and money all rolled into one Read more...

Poetry - Juggling Chainsaws By Joe Hakim
There's a gig I need to do,
a flat I need to view.
There's a point to be proved,
a sofa to be moved.
There's a table to be cleared,
a reputation to be smeared.
There's a drink I'd like to taste,    Read more...

Poetry - These Streets By Mike Watts
These streets are as mean
As a dog gone mad
The raised fist
Of a drunken dad
A thousand wasps
In a swarm of fury
A hot and hungry Read more...

Poetry - I'm Confused By Sven Rez
Two quid fifty a beer!
Out three times a week
Hundred quid for alcohol, taxis and that greasy kebab
And I'm not on about your mum
What about the drugs?
What about the new clothes for a night out? Read more...

Poetry - Depression and Grime By Laura Fry
The turkey is burnt, and nobody's learnt
That the whole malarkey is nothing but twaddle
Uncle Bert's put his new socks in the bin
And Grandma's on her third bottle of gin
Christmas time
Depression and grime Read more...

Poetry - Definition By Sven Rez
A degree does not bring happiness
A holiday does not bring joy
Sadness brings pain
Without sadness, no one will be happy
A light does not shine
A star cannot shoot    Read more...

Poetry - The Crude Politics Of Petropublicans And Democradicals And Indepundits By Del Abe Jones.
Where do we get these people
Who fight new energy
Then, raise the price of oil
For their greedy industry?
Where do we get these people
Who build the cars we drive Read more...

Poetry - The Warriors Holiday By Del Abe Jones.
The holidays are upon us
And Christmas is drawing near
But for far too many Families
There won't be a 'Happy New Year'.
Their loved ones are off at War
In some far-off foreign land Read more...

Poetry - Dead Flowers By Paul England
I hate these fucking lines
the ones that tell the truth
these lines that tell the world
about my misplaced youth
lines of yesterday
still playing in my head Read more...

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