When You Add It All Up By Jim Higo

Ernie without Eric, 10 without Bo Derek, A diocese without a cleric, Scottish football without Berwick. There's really not much point. The thoughts of Tony Blair, Arthur Scargill's hair, Two minus a pair, The number of times Simon and Garfunkel Went to Scarborough Fair. All add up to nothing. The talent in Big Brother's house. The total wit of an average Scouse, The possibility that Jack Straw might carouse, The ability of Anne Robinson To sexually arouse. All nil.

The lyrics of Mike Skinner, Princess Diana's dinner, Michael Winner. Renee Zellweger when she's thinner. There's nothing there. John and Yoko laid in bed. The comedic content of "Bread", Everything that Thatcher said, One and One is One by Medicine Head. All meant nothing. Any show Davina hosts Any programme about ghosts, Songs produced by Mickey Most Paul Young with Streetband singing "Toast". Why bother?

Poetry that's meant to matter, The difference between a tray and a platter, Sepp Blatter. Renee Zellweger when she's fatter, No point at all. Patricia Hewitt, prim and proper. Jacksons, Safeway, Happy Shopper, Tucker Jenkins as a copper. Lorraine Kelly, someone stop her, There is no need. From all these things, find me defence And deliver me from common sense. No more bons mots shall I dispense, Because there's nothing much of consequence; When you add it all up.

© 2005 Jim Higo

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