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Poetry
Last Updated: 14/03/2006 15:04:15
I Remember It Well
By Jon Stewart

I met her in Retro
No, it was in Mint
I said I was loaded
You said you were skint!
Ah yeah...I remember it well.

Said she was from Bransholme
I said Orchard Park
Her hair was so blonde
It was fuckin' well dark!
Oh yeah...I remember it well.

I bought her a Stella
No, it was a Carling
I said 'Ere gorgeous'
No, it was 'Oi Darlin!'
Um yeah...I remember it well.

I gave her a Mars Bar
No, it was a Snickers
She was wearing a thong
I was wearing no knickers
Ah swear down, I remember it well, stop fuckin' criticising me will ya?
Her name was Chantelle
No, it was Mercedes
We shagged in the gents
No, it was the ladies
I fuckin' tell ya, I do remember it man, d'ya wanna fuckin' smack or wot?

We stopped outside station
No, it was a shop
I got caught in a frenzy
You were caught on the hop
Ah yeah....I remember it well.

Took her round the back
No, it was the front
I fingered her arse
No, you fingered something else
Oh yeah!! I remember that well!

I think it was Argos
No, it was Pound Land
I lost me best sovereign
You lost your whole hand
Ah yeah....I remember it well.
I needed a fag
No, you needed some smack
Found some in my jacket
It was down your arse-crack
Oh yeah....I remember it well, it was fuckin' good gear man.

I needed a wee - wee
You needed a crap
I pissed in a corner
You shat in your cap
Ah yeah....I remember that crap well.

We got in a taxi
We had to walk home
I was fuckin' well hammered
You were fuckin' well stoned
Ah yeah....I don't remember that bit really...

I picked on some black guys
Not black, they were brown
Are you sure, you slapper?
I fuckin' swear down!
Ok, I remember it well then.
I kicked 'em in the head
No, it was the knackers
I called 'em all Kossos
You called 'em all Pakis
Uh yeah...I remember it now. Pigs came and we fucked off didn't we.

Then we said ta-ra
We said never again
But here we both are
Cos I'm having your bairn
Ugh yeah...I can't forget that fucker now can I.

Copyright © 2006  Jane Foster

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