An Open Letter to the Head of ITV1 Scheduling By Beth McGann

I've just come back from my nightly stroll, me and the dog, alone with one hundred billion fires the dark trees, black like an absence moving against the backdrop of the galactic dance, beauty on an unimaginable scale, turning two hundred thousand miles an hour, mars falling in the west like a russian general, gallops ecstatic to his dramatic doom, a grain of sand de-existing its thousand-light year journey ending in a streak of glory just for us I've seen all that and I've just got back do you really think I want to watch Russell Brand, you twat?

The Dog Ate My Lottery Ticket By Beth McGann

The dog ate my lottery ticket So I turned him into a rug Made his teeth into a necklace and his bollocks into a top pair of earrings. oh, no, it wasn't a winning lottery ticket, I just couldn't stand the dog.

Copyright ©  Beth McGann 2006

Poetry - Hide and Seek By Maurice Fairfield
	So catch me if you can My good old playmate Death Let's play our game of hide and seek Till I run out of breath You counted ten some time ago Ready or not, you said Read more...

Poetry - Pie in The Sky By Shaun Heesom
	Where is the land of milk and honey My pie in the sky with chocolate money A bird in the hand a feather in the bush Where the tall green plants grow vast and lush The rivers flow full and deep red wine Where the pigs fly up from time to time Castles in the air Read more...

Poetry - Louder Than Words By Mike Watts
	'We have performed this very difficult task Out of love for our people. And we have suffered no damage To ourselves, to our souls, Or our characters .' Heinrich Himmler Read more...

Poetry - Lament for Hull By Laura Fry

I'm lying in the bed I made No longer angry, now resigned to fate For the follies of my twenties, I'll pay the high price And live on in this hell that I thought was paradise I gave not a thought when I jumped in head first That I'd married the man I Read more...

Poetry - The Sound of the Sea By Beth McGann.

	the sound of the sea an endless movement like the pull of a horse on the bridle, strong underneath rollers rattle the chalk pebbles smooth in a cupped hand Read more...

Poetry - Ashes To Ashes By Patrick Henry
	Down-under the dodgy digger is the flash tool to fool us all: Over here, the cobber to ditch the blather and strike the flaming ball, No wet Pom could hit for straight six, or toss-up a wrong-'un to skittle a side; Pull all POM sheilas hard-up for it: ten top thin models lined up in a bed; Read more...

Poetry - The Battle of Cable Street 4th Oct 1936 - 4th Oct 2006 By Patrick Henry
	A lifetime since when that ring of steel clashed down these streets. Boot-heels struck cobbles. Bin-lids for shields buckled in defence To batons, rocks, banner-shafts. Ears cocked to hear drum-rolls and fast heart-beats. Read more...

Poetry - Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam ('Chin') Aires
	Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. It's Nature's revenge Read more...

Poetry - Albert Hoffman's Bicycle By Joe Hakim

Falling off, falling out, in my mind there is no doubt that everyone is truly alone when surrounded by the    Read more...

Poetry - The Merman's Song By The Doc

	I sing Of clouds freshly washed by rain Of the silver seas And the keys to your heart I sing Of Ishmael Of carved whale tooth memories Read more...

Poetry - The Spoon Player By Maurice Fairfield
	The name on the skin of the bass drum Was Blackshaw's Storyville Five And the board leaning up at the door of the pub Was promising jazz that was live A slight exaggeration for the Storyville Five were not In the class of the bands they copied Read more...

Poetry - A Poem For The Eternal Thinker By Shep

	I'm thinking of things like a bird on a branch And wandering, pondering lost in a trance Of wishes and dishes, fishes on land Planes in the sky and that man I can't stand On what colour Mac on my back I should wear And if Schmegal eats seagull with grizzly bear Of why we see spectres Read more...

Poetry - Hot Date (For Better For Worse) By Daphne Liver
	Seated in the restaurant with a pleasant Window view, brown eye to blue And not really conversing, What with it all being covered already, But sort of rehearsing the motions: Work is a pain, I've a meeting tomorrow- Respectfully phatic Read more...

Poetry - Faith, Hope And Charity By Maurice Fairfield
	I loved a girl named Hope and she was pretty faithless I met another called Faith and she was pretty hopeless I got involved with Charity (she wasn't very kind) And what with all the three of them it really blew my mind Maintaining my tenacity but feeling broken hearted I met a bird named Chastity Read more...

Poetry - The Interview By Daphne Liver
	So superficial in the supermarket interview room after arriving late, she asks what name I prefer to go by. "Katherine," I say, because I turn irate when abbreviated by people in suits, their faux matey-ness making me cringe. "Right then, Kath!" she says, Read more...

Poetry - November Bride By Laura Fry

I once was a girl who thought she knew best Until her true love was put to the test And what she'd thought to be great left her less than impressed Take me home I admit I was wrong, you were right all along And humble pie tastes much Read more...

Poetry -The Trial of Charles Roberts By Lee Cassanell

	Dead little girls, God is watching Dead little girls, Papers cry. The torment of realists, Unending The teardrops of Mothers, Read more...

Poetry - Fake Plastic Socialist Poets By Joe Hakim

Bleating like sheep, repeating the same old tired shit over and over again. Like a washed up nightclub singer doing requests, you beat on your chests in a rhythm I've heard    Read more...

Poetry - Coffee In Plastic Cups By Shaun Heesom
	In a railway station buffet I thought I'd had enough Of dim lit lamps and smelly tramps And coffee in plastic cups We sat there for hours Before last you went away We spoke of dreams and desired themes Read more...

Poetry - Loafer Party Conference By Patrick Henry
	The Loafer Party Conference meets at Muckcluster Railway Station: No more dodgems or donkey-rides at some seaside soft option. Rail buffet sandwiches curl sadly, or else in contempt the way Prescott's lips snarl like a pit-bull; The Guardian of his Party, Prowling roofs nightly, scaring Read more...

Poetry - War Hero By Nikki Sheppeck

Don't pity me, Don't ask me why ? Don't judge me on my circumstance, Don't feel the need to hold me tight, Don't pay attention to my plight, Don't be so harsh, I had no choice. My doubts convict my very soul.    Read more...

Poetry - Here Comes Another Daydream By Sean Davey

Here comes another daydream, You're here, I see your face! I feel a poem coming from inside of me The words slip into place. I focus on your lovely smile, To an artist, what a prize! It's then I have to look away,    Read more...

Poetry - The Undiluted Genius Of Arnold Schwarzenegger By Joe Hakim

What the hell are you? Billy, get to the chopper. See you at the party, Hauser. Let off some steam, Bennet. I will terminate obesity in all    Read more...

Poetry - The Law's The Law By Del Abe Jones.

	We forgive too many crimes And we say that it's okay Go ahead and break the Law We don't mean them anyway. They're enforced when they suit us Or we'll pretend we didn't see Read more...

Poetry - The Dog Ate My Lottery Ticket By Beth McGann.

	The dog ate my lottery ticket So I turned him into a rug Made his teeth into a necklace and his bollocks into a top pair of earrings. oh, no, it wasn't a winning lottery ticket, I just couldn't stand the dog. Read More