Let's Blow Up America By Patrick Henry

Stan Freeberg writes the scenario, Tom Lehrer does the songs, "Let's Blow Up America", best musical since Springtime for Hitler won the gongs, When Jews of Manhattan broke a leg to get hot tickets to catch The show of that geezer gassing their folks in ovens at Auschwitz. "Let's Blow Up America will be another total gas, Shaking the building like a great audience full of laughs. A big hit opens 9-11 near Broadway to knock 'em dead at Ground Zero, To bring the house down like the movie, "The Towering Inferno".

Groucho Marx is the chief character. His late brother twangs the harp in heaven. Our cast of three thousand are sure to make a killing. Groucho said he'd join no oufit that let members like him in. He said "I never forget a face, but for you I'll make exception". He said "our wimp brother Zeppo is vital to our act We show him our new sketches and if he laughs they're scrapped. Mae West is the leading not-exactly lady. About her diamond ring, "Goodness" they exclaimed. She said "Goodness was never in it, darling".

Sure, she believed in having sex before marriage, If you don't keep the guests waiting before you hitch. Sam Goldwyn, the producer, said, "include me out". He rambled on, "A verbal contract ain't worth the paper it is printed on. Dorothy Parker, the critic, said at the funeral when Louis Mayer was dead, Thousands came not believing their luck, and others to press down the coffin lid. Hearing President Coolidge had died, she said "how can they tell?" This new show will hit the rafters sure as hell.

Rod Steiger plays the tough police chief In The Heat Of The Night, Grilling black-faced suspects through ghostly ashes turning white. "Let's Blow Up America" is in the worst possible bad taste, Since Bush choked on a ketchup pretzel and dribbled down his vest. And next season we'll hit you with another smash-hit show, The Sound of Music from those tortured who sing at Guantanamo. We confess Camp X-Ray will compulsively grip everyone. Camp guards strap you in your stalls-seats and you'll never walk alone.

Copyright ©2006  Patrick Henry

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