Lines of Life - Part One (2/2) By Paul England

(1/2) (2/2) Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

But when we moved I starting knocking about with a gang of lads. I was one of the young ones; their ages ranged from 11 to 16. I remember the first time I tried pot, there must have been about 10 to 15 of us. We all sat on this grass near Sutton Road. One of my mates' older brother gave us all it - I think it was the first time for most of us. Soon after we started to nick motorbikes and go off the rails in general. We started sniffing petrol and other things like hairspray, gas and things like that. If I'm honest, I thought these days were the best days of my life - I never looked beyond the next day - you don't at that age, you just think things will turn out all right.

Fathers Fu***** Crazy How can I love you dad   you showed me only bad Mother said I'm a crazy lad   that left me feeling sad Dad you made me beat him   For I was just your pawn Dave I am so sorry   but that is all I was shown My father would sit back   and watch two brothers fight No rules within this battle   we could even bite Dave would cry to stop   for he was meek and mild But dad would egg me on   cos I was fuc**** wild For dad abused this love   this love I had for him I idolized him see   my father was my king Dave still bears the scars   of what I did back then It still affects him now   even now we're men To write such crazy things   still hurts to say today Daddy I don't love you   what hurtful words to say You're eighteen stones of crap   I'll make it fuc**** clear I am but ten stone   but you know why you fear I hate you fuc**** bastard   cockroach you fuc**** prick I can never love you   you make me fuc**** sick To grow and feel such hate   I hope I touch your heart Father we can't heal   you ripped this all apart These words are just so sad   To speak this way of you But father's fuc**** crazy   for every word of this is true

By time I was 13 coming up to 14 we had peeled off from a lot of them and started doing our own thing. We started going down north and knocking about with our Phil and some of my old mates. We were getting stoned, robbing, taking acid and doing a bit of speed. I remember one day my oldest brother Mike got caught sniffing gas. My dad went off his head - he grounded Mike for 3 months and he kept him in for the full time, so me and our Dave made sure we didn't get caught. I remember this one night in particular my mam sat us all down around her bed. I was 14 at this time. She said that she was going to leave my dad. I went to bed that night and cried my heart out - I was gutted big time.

A Past of Crazy Things I've been searching for God so long   but I never seem to find I've been looking to tell his Son   these sins within my mind About a child so lost inside   but all people saw was bad No love now from his father   just made this child so sad For his sins still haunt his dreams   of a past filled of regret He roamed the streets so young   for the devil there he met As he looks into his past   only seeing with glass eyes With Michael laid to rest   but God don't hear my cries For a mother who said she loved him   but still she left him there With an alcoholic father   who never did he care As he lived this broken had   and his world just fell apart Drugs they stole his dreams   then ripped straight through his heart For his parents gave him life   then inspired all his sins But they won't feel his love   as I write these crazy things

Continued ...Part 2

Copyright ©2007  Paul England

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