Amused or not, a muse on Yo-Yo contd By Michelle Dee

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Why do I say these disparaging things? Well Sunday at Piper was just like that. I got a great quote from a guy called David he said, It is full of weird people all the normal people are missing. It's a pretty pass indeed when we get referred to, as the so called normal people. It was true, it's a strange club anyway with its yellow shirts buzzing about ready to step in if you so much as look at them sideways. I watched two guys dancing and, as is par for the course these days, they ended up wrestling each other to the ground laughing and joking all the while. Within seconds there was a yellowshirt standing over them.

For a moment it looked like they were going to be ejected from the premises just for larking about. There is also the arduous task of purchasing your two bottles of Corona -fifteen minutes, I'll say no more- then getting to the raised stage to dance without crossing the dance floor holding a drink? I really would like to know how you are supposed to achieve this seemingly impossible feat.

What is it with bouncers? If you're a girl, and they can see they haven't got a hope in hell of shagging you, then they get all bolshie and aggressive; it's the Freudian f**k or fight theory. I suppose if you're a guy you get tied up in some testosterone-fuelled war of attrition, neither party wanting to give an inch, for fear of surrendering some fundamental part of masculinity. The bouncers and security staff police the venues like little Hitlers. I have lost count of the horror stories retold to me about some overzealous security staff overplaying their hand. For instance a couple of lads were refused entry in to Yo-Yo for wearing fancy dress on their 21st birthdays.

Now I know that downstairs for DejaVu there is a strict dress code to be adhered to; presumably because if you don't have the latest labels some mindless chav will slap you from pillar to post. But to force the pair to go home for wearing something as inoffensive as Batman and Robin costumes is just farcical. In fact, whomsoever you are reading this, contact me with your bouncer horror stories. Rather than just complain about the Neanderthal behaviour, lets bring it out into the light and try to comprehend what goes through their minds. Perhaps through seeking to understand we can affect a sea change in the way they act toward us, after all, they wouldn't have a job without us. Would they?

This piece started in one place and has morphed into a crusade to right wrongs and justify the unjust: the coffee has gone cold and the CD has played in its entirety. The mind drifts pleasantly; back to heady nights filled with fun; drinking, dancing and singing to all those uber-cool tunes, not a Burberry cap in sight, Toto look, we must be inside the Emerald City, how glorious it is.

Sometimes when you meet someone for the first time; you get talking and they get you and you get them; you spend the whole night glued to each other: mighty and victorious in your union. You dance and they instinctively know all, your dance moves, you smile openly and relax into them letting down your guard. Maybe they know they won't be leaving here with you? But for a brief moment, enjoy the myriad of possibilities stretching out in front of you. Go to Yo-Yo and find out for yourself; a night created and fuelled by a genuine love for the scene and the music, just as I did. Then sit back in wonderment -at how you could have stayed away for quite so long- as I did.

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