Will graduate plumbers be up to the job? By Jane Foster

The recent programme Posh Plumbers on BBC1 highlighted the growing number of middle class graduates and professionals turning to plumbing for a living. With a national shortage of 32,000 plumbers, and salaries to match those of a decent job in the capital, the profession is changing.

The news that more graduates are turning to jobs like plumbing is not that much of a surprise (seeing the current fashion for students to wear their trousers hanging down with underwear exposed, they're halfway there already). Seriously, though, when you hear that students will be leaving university with £30,000 of debt and a degree that gets them nowhere, the prospect of earning £70,000 a year by fixing boilers is pretty attractive.

This is exciting news for single women like me, who are in search for what seems like the Holy Grail: a decent plumber who won't a) rip you off and b) chat you up. Hooray! No more will we be greeted at the door by a sweaty bloke in overalls, with a rolled up copy of The Sun under his arm and a glint in his eye when he sees you're on your own. Oh no! He'll be a nice Guardian reader, and we'll be able to sip Earl Grey tea and discuss 18th Century literature in his hard-earned break. Alas, I fear there is a downside to this. Old habits die hard, and people don't easily shed their subjects that they swotted over for three years. Consider this scenario: a gang of four graduate plumbers are called to your house to investigate a leaking boiler (we'll assume they're all men; most graduates turning to plumbing still are, so no change there).

The Philosophy graduate will spend hours contemplating the boiler. He'll start a discussion as to whether the boiler really exists or is reality an illusion …....? Not noticing the growing pool of watery evidence that confirms that, yes it does, and it's ruining the carpet. The Psychology graduate will quiz you endlessly over your problem with the boiler. He'll finally decide that your desire to fix it is a result of your parent's failure to potty-train you early enough in your formative years. He signs you up for a course of intensive therapy and promptly leaves. The Gender Studies graduate will discuss the sexual politics of boiler fixing, and the fact that you cannot fix it yourself because of your sexist upbringing. The result of this is that he'll thrust the spanner in your hand and urge you to challenge your traditional gender role - in other words fix it your bloody self.

Finally, the graduate in the recently created Beer Studies will fiddle around for a bit and then decide, sod it, let's go down the pub. The end result? The same as ever - the job just doesn't get done. The burning question remains, though; will these graduates get training in that all-important aspect of being a plumber - showing the standard three inches of bottom cleavage when they reach over the u-bend?

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