Musings By Mark Pollard

A couple of things that have perplexed me over the years:

Firstly, why the link between heel bars and key cutting? They always seem to be combined under the same roof. I don't geddit. Potential for major calamities, too - imagine going in for a new heel on your brogues and ending up with a Yale key firmly stuck in place instead. Or dropping a key off to be duplicated and popping back in for it later that day, only to be handed a suede brush instead.... Secondly, the angry favour:

I'm frequently guilty of this. You're driving to work, traffic's bad, and someone is wanting to pull out onto the main road ahead of you. Feeling momentarily benevolent, you beckon them out into the flow of traffic. But for that split second they are looking the other way, and don't latch on to your invitation immediately. The transformation in demeanour, from beatific selflessness, to screaming blue murder is incredible: Come on, then. Dozy bastard. Fuckin' hell, what are you waiting for..., as you wave your bemused beneficiary forward with increasingly dramatic arm movements.

Or, if they are particular tardy, they miss the cut altogether: Right. Bollocks to you, then, as you surge forward the eight yards to the car in front of you, like Michael Schumacher on the starting grid. You won't be doing that fucker any more favours. After all, you only have so much kindness on tap first thing in a morning...... What an odd species we are.

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