The Bitch Hikers Guide to The Fashionista Dance Troupe! (2/3) By Mr. B. Quiet

(1/3), (2/3), (3/3).

Not since those crazy days of Scarlet (remember them?) has a Hull act been spoken about with such momentum (with the exception of the Beautiful South obliviously!). Just a shame, musically that it all feels somewhat rather stale, boring, insipid and uninspired. But you've got to hand it to those guys (or are they hobbits? You ever see them in the same place together!) they've been given that chance and they are running with it! I know I'd take it! But oh yeah, guys, if you're in a club with ultra-violet lights on, please make sure you blow your nose properly before you venture back out.

Sadly, most of it seems to be just a copy of what's already about or just been and gone. Don't know why certain bands (I'm not going to name and shame - sure they know who they are, and if they don't, they bloody well should do!) don't just apply for Stars in Their Eyes! C'mon kids lets put on a show! - surely you're better (well I fucking hope some of you are!) than that, and actually look to do something of your own.

Put some thought and emotion into it, mate! Don't just replicate what you hear, strive to create something you can't hear, far more interesting and rewarding! Can't recycle White Riot forever! Along the way you realize that you've got to have the bad to have the good. Don't get me wrong, not all of it's bad. There have been some cracking pop songs that will probably stand the test of time and still be played in club in 10/20 years time.

I mean, do you reckon The Who thought My Generation would still be hammered out by every DJ Tom, Dick and Harry 40 years on after it was written? No, neither did I!

Example of a band doing something positive is Art Brut, a band that raised the biggest call to arms for inspiration (in my blackened eyes anyway) this side of Jarvis Cockers' standing up and being counted for hating Wet Wet Wet! The singer seems to recognise the ideals of the consumer society we live/buy into, by (with his tongue firmly planned in his cheek) changing his surname to Argos! If he'd of been really cool, he'd have changed his surname to Ikea!

His songs are about not falling to the trends, failure and dancing in art galleries. How fantastic would it be if we could sing/ shout/dance and express a response when we attend an art gallery and it didn't have the atmosphere of a morgue! Ok maybe that's just me then! But imagine if we all took that on board, instead of our constant observations over the manipulation of peoples drug fuelled excess that's smeared across everything from the tabloids to Newsnight!

I daren't even start on that bloke ... yes I'm sure you know who I mean ... Mr. Doherty. Yep, I wondered how long I'd write for until his ugly name ventured into my writing! Hey Peter, you've written some great pop songs, and yah bands' good...but you know... you're not the messiah, you're just a very naughty boy! Makes me chuckle when his fans/stalkers/groupies/dealers hang off every word he says!

Puzzles me something rotten that, despite obvious talent (but hey kids, he's not exactly that good), that he's praised and adored for the decadence he inflicts upon himself (and those around him). When you can guarantee that if the kids saw someone fucked outta their tiny minds begging or hassling them outside 24 hour Jacksons, they won't even stamp on him with their pointy leather boots if he was on fire!

Now his soul unit, Babyshambles releases a single entitled Killamangiro, of which the chorus goes is a chant to kill a man for this giro today. The government want to forget about people wearing hoodies! Next time you're round your local job centre/post office collecting your giro, don't be scared of all the kids in hoodies, just keep your eyes peeled for drain pipe jeans, leather jackets and Robert Smith hairdo's, they might just Doherty you!

Articles - The Sixties By Marion

	Everyone has memories from their childhood. Some of mine involve making a union jack windmill while at primary school, then standing on Beverley Road, waiting to wave it at the Queen, when she visited Hull once. Another thing that sticks in my memory was when a new food fad came into being: frozen beef-burgers, chips, and peas. I drove my poor mum mad wanting them all the time! Read more...

Articles - Birds in Hull By Pete and Sue

	In November 2004 Sue and I promised ourselves a really special present for Christmas this year, we needed something really special because of the shitty year we had had. We decided that we should buy a parrot. Actually you can't buy a parrot, everyone we spoke to on the Net told us that we had to adopt one. Read more...

Articles - My Self Harm

	Why am I qualified to write this piece? Why, because I live with the reality of being a self-harmer each and every day. I started self-harming when I was about ten years old. It took the form of taking my penknife and trapping each one of my fingers whilst the blade was trying to shut. I would lie in bed to Read more...

Articles - Rock the Casbah By Jim Higo

	Notoriety sells records; of that there can be no debate. There really is nothing (other than a dead princess) that guarantees record sales more, than a band fronted by a drug-crazed demented degenerate or a maniacal madman. Taste or morality rarely threaten Read more...

Articles - A Seat In The House By Patrick Henry

	Albert Stubbs worked as a printer on Hull's Daily Mail. His brother Frank ran a grocer's shop in Hessle Road, went bankrupt, became a tally-clerk on the docks, fell ill and died of heart failure. His widow Gert remarried to a sergeant-major in the East Yorkshire Read more...

Articles - Teenage Kicks By Jim Higo

	In the same week that Teen sex is being targeted by the Tories (their plan is to reduce it, not to indulge in it), it is perhaps an unfortunate coincidence that they also unveil plans to ask former Chief Inspector of Schools Chris Woodhead to carry out a review of the National Read more...

Articles - Bingo In Mad By DJ Chris Plant

	Let me start with a few facts... Bingo: first began in Italy in 1530. France became interested in 1778. They played the game with a deck of cards. In the 1800's Educational Lotto games became popular. Bing Crosby got his name from being called Bingo: as a child. Read more...

Articles - Shall We Dance? UK Movie Premiere, Wednesday Feb 16th 2005, Leicester Square, London By Steve Rudd
	The weather might have been bitterly cold, but still the most entertaining Square in all of London was relatively packed for the UK movie premiere of Shall We Dance?, which was in aid of charity - and the Asia Tsunami appeal in particular. Shall We Dance? is the latest movie Read more...

Articles - Black and White By Jim Higo

	At last it's here! That eagerly awaited time when the celebs queue up to be seen and to be heard. The moment when Hollywood's finest come together amidst an array of anxious attire, desperate, designer dresses and hazardous hairdo's. Read more...

Articles, Paranormal - Messages At Christmas By Graham Lee

	There is a dilemma for every medium and it is this: when is it appropriate to pass on messages from spirit, and when is it best left alone? Many times I have been in a crowded room or on a train and I have been given hints of spirit information for the Read more...

Articles - Samaritans By Michelle Dee

	Late 2003 our editor wrote an article about the invaluable work done by the local branch of the Samaritans. The piece called, A Friend In Need , featured the then manager of the Hull branch Wendy. Since the article was written a new Read more...

Articles - About Crazy Shit By Joe Hakim

	So we stumble out of the horror of Christmas into the New Year, bleary-eyed and confused, with the nagging feeling we've missed something. I was working all through Christmas and New Year. Even though I spent New Year's Eve working, stood in Read more...

Articles, Paranormal - The Beast In The Basement By Graham Lee

	Every so often a paranormal investigation can uncover spirit beings which are not of human origin. As well as humans who have passed over, there are Angels, animal spirits, faeries, elementals, nature spirits and a whole host of inter-dimensional Read more...

Articles - True Stories - The Puzzle Nightmare By DJ Chris Plant
	One day when I was home alone, there was a knock at the front door. It was the postman with a parcel for me. I tore open the package and inside there was a black box. Inside the box there were some puzzle pieces. I didn't think Read more...