I may sound like an old spinster woman but I'm convinced I can drum up a following on this one. I was at the gym tonight (trying to work out) and I'll admit, was bloody knackered by the time I got to the changing rooms.
I'd had a crap day at work and all I wanted to do was chill out. Cue - screaming kids in the changing room. So I decided to escape to the sauna and pool area.
That did nothing to help; they followed me and almost began multiplying and cropping up everywhere like Gremlins in water. In fact after listening (it was hard not to), to kids shrieking and wailing like banshees, I got a headache. So I marched off to the showers in a huff, trying not to slip on the floor.
There I was under the steaming hot shower head, still listening to the screams coming from the pool; when I wondered if there'd be a big enough market for a gym where it was expressly 'No Children Allowed'. Do I sound like the Grinch yet?
Think about it; they may not be allowed in the gym itself, (heaven forbid all those
heavy weights that they might knock themselves unconscious with) but do I really pay £30
odd per month to listen to screaming little nappy terrorists that won't move out of the pool?
No! That's what leisure centres are for- and that's why I don't go into them!
Do I pay £30 odd per month to have 6 year old boys ogle my bits in the changing rooms?
No! Surely that set up must be illegal?
You wouldn't want your kids in a changing room while Michael Jackson was getting his white bits out; why should it be any different because we're women?
And I don't care what people say; they may have an age limit that boys older than 7 can't enter the ladies fitting rooms, but you can't tell me that as a young child, they don't have that beady little eye...
Just because apparently once you've gone through the humiliation of labour and childbirth (yes I say apparently because it's damn obvious I haven't had any!), you don't care who sees your bits anymore because all modesty dropped south with your piles; it doesn't mean I want to get naked in front of your kids like you do!
I remember my Dad taking me to swimming baths when I was younger than 7 and having to go into the blokes showers with him ... scarred me for life!
Now, don't get me wrong, I've nothing against kids in theory.
Gyms should provide crèche facilities, so you can drop them off at the door and pick them up later.
That's fair enough!
Unless their child tax credits are being used to pay the gym for the services they're using and the sound proof walls they should install while they're bawling their heads off at large- LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!
Opinions - David Icke blows away 400 people at a Free Public Meeting on Sunday, July 6th By Mo
Believe him or not David Icke is one of very few people who can hold an audience in
the palm of his hand for many hours, well beyond the one and a half hours reported on the internet.
His three and a half hour talk enthralled the audience with revelations beyond the scheming
Big Brother drones in the Tory and Labour parties to the fact that Neocons' behind the
Big Brother State
Opinions - The BBC Dipping into Youtube for Viewers By Mo UPDATED BBC's BBC Phil Hayton Denies All knowlege
The British Broadcasting Corporation, which is usually known simply as the
BBC, is the world's largest broadcasting corporation. It has 28,000 employees
in the United Kingdom alone and an annual budget of more than £4 billion.
Founded on 18 October 1922 as the British Broadcasting Company Ltd, it was
subsequently granted a Royal Charter and
Opinions - Response to The BBC Dipping into YouTube for Viewers By Martin Deane
Fire away Mo! Seconds out, round two.
I actually have a soft spot for the Beeb but no, it's not my unrequited love for Neighbours or the Archers. Forgive me for lumping them together, apparently they're different despite hugely annoying theme tunes, but you may not know where I'm coming from yet.
This is despite not having a TV licence which is how the BBC funds itself
Opinions - Lies And War Crimes By Michelle Dee
The words "weapons of mass destruction" were noticeably absent from the
speech by George W. Bush on the fifth anniversary of the Iraq invasion.
The apocalyptic rhetoric used to firstly motivate the political will
then move the might of the military forces was replaced by talk of
regime change and removing Saddam Hussein from power.
It is illegal to go to war in order to
Opinions - Censored By D R Callaghan
A few minutes ago I used the readers comments facility in the online Hull Daily Mail
to comment on the main story about the killing of Simon Murden.
Ironic is it not? that the police are unable to crack down on the alcohol-fuelled
yobs terrorising families, shopkeepers and the elderly, yet when faced with a
young man who needs medical attention they can pump six bullets into him
Opinions - The Sexuality of the 9/11 Attacks By Christopher Skolik
The Pentagon is itself a potent symbol of manhood and military virility.
It goes without saying that was an act of violent homoerotic self extinction and assault-as if the terrorists could not survive such an act of homoerotic penetration, their out dated belief system and self ideation would not allow it-no matter how metaphorical the act. Only the unification of sex and death could breach that gap.
Opinions - Iraq War Theme Park By Christopher Skolik
War seems to be a human necessity, a requirement on some basic level.
To counteract the dangers of random disorganised war springing up I suggest
we turn Iraq into a fully functioning war zone theme park -all the benefits
of paint balling but with the relief of tension that only live ammunition and
Opinions - Notes Toward a Chavology By Christopher Skolik
The local Hull 'chav' lad needs profiling and placing in his rightful context.
Fiercely proud of his 'thickness'- intelligence is not to be trusted, it might unleash all kinds of awful weirdness upon his world, a world he clings to with the whitened knuckles of the drowning man, the perennial cry of 'Don't get clever with me' echoes across council estates of the north ...
Opinions - Maureen Lipman at Pave By Sean
Just saw Maureen Lipman at a reading at the Pave.
It took two attempts to gain entrance. At the first attempt i was turned away on the grounds that it was a private function - apparently i didn't look 'Avenues' enough. I'm Avenues enough to have my taxes pay for it, mind.
I just got in in time to catch a couple of 'anecdotes' which mocked the poverty of working
Opinions - All At Sea Or Way Out West? (Orwellian Nightmare Or Whitehall Farce?) By D R Callaghan
Admiral Sir Alan West wants us to 'snitch' on our neighbours, friends and even on our own family. Who's he? I hear you ask. He's none other than the Government's new 'Security Minister'.
Isn't it comforting to know that we now have a 'Security Minister' (Big Brother?) looking after our 'way of life'?
The former First Sea Lord also warned that Britain faces a 15-year battle
Opinions - Candle In The Wind By Jim Higo
Who'd want to be a Bosnian landmine victim? Terrible injuries, lost limbs, scarred for life and then to cap it all, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you get a visit from Princess Diana.
Just when it seemed your life had reached its absolute nadir, you see her coming at you with those big eyes, like a spaced out Desert Orchid.
Opinions - Depart For New Earth By David Sloan
Depart for new earth AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Professor Stephen Hawking said recently that for the human race to survive we must gain a foothold on another planet, and as if by divine intervention our astronomers soon found another earth-like planet in the heavens.
It has a mass five times that of earth and is probably made of the same sort of rock with
Opinions - Trees Are Bastards By Sally Satan
Now amidst all the current chatter of climate change inevitably being a Bad Thing, the still small voice of calm must be heard.
How many people do you know who have died recently as a direct result of climate change?
And yet we go on, beating ourselves up for being human and not animal or mineral, and for ruining the planet. But we should
Opinions - The Reception of Wisdom By Kenton Hall
There is a story that I tell. I likely tell it far too often and one of these days, a friend or family member is going to sneak up behind me and garrotte me with a length of fishing line.
No, it's not the one about that. Or that one, either.
Now that I think about it, there are many stories that I tell too often.
However, the story I am referring to today recalls the moment
Opinions - Divided We Fall By Lee Cassanell
"The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular
representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them" Karl Marx
So Tony Blair's pledge to end poverty has taken a kick in the teeth after the news that 300,000 (or 200,000 or 100,000 depending on which paper or website you read) more children have slipped below the line.
Opinions - Real Men Do Not Need Real Doll.com By Jo Allison
At age 12, little girls and boys should put Barbie and Ken back to sleep safely in their plastic boxes, as adults move on from pretend friends, to actual ones.
But for a select group of scary cyborg-lovers who prefer plastic to flesh, life size Real Dolls made from 100% silicone are the next step up from Barbie dolls. They make the perfect playmates, so I'm told.
But who exactly
Opinions - Goody, Goody, Yum, Yum - Racism and Jade Goody By Lee Cassanell
We all decry prejudice, yet are all prejudiced; Herbert Spencer
The problem with racism is there is currently no well known or vicious enough word that another race can use to discriminate against white people.
In fact during an extensive search of the internet the only even mildly offensive term I could find was
"Honky" and if you are white and offended
Opinions - In Response To Fiona Carr's Hands On Our Arts By Esther Windsor
I am writing in response to Fiona Carr's recent article Hands On Our Arts in
the Opinions section of thisisull.com :
to say that Hull Time Based Arts is alive and well.
In the article discussing funding of art and cultural services in Hull she says
'We have seen the collapse of Hull Art Lab, we saw Hull Time Based ArtsRead more...
Opinions - In Response to The Mental Alchemist's Save Our Free School Meals
Mental Alchemist shows an unerring ability to turn gold into lead with the mixture of inaccuracy,
sloppy thinking, and basic political illiteracy.
To start at the most basic there is not a Liberal Party Cabinet on Hull City Council.
Indeed, despite all the treachery and re-branding exercises, there is not even a Liberal on the Council.
Opinions - Hands On Our Arts By Fiona Carr
ThisisUll has good arts coverage and a clear interest in the vibrancy of the cultural scene,
even if it seems a bit indie/ethnic leaning.
It may well be that nobody is interested in the Art galleries and museums, or the
City Hall/New Theatre though there was a time events were featured on these pages around 2004.
However it is astonishing not one
Opinions - In support of Jack 'Last' Straw By Pablo Luis Gonzàlez
I watched in disbelief as people walked around dressed in a most shameful and
obscene diversity of clothes:
A young woman in faded blue jeans, brown boots and low cut yellow top.
A man in a dark blue suit and tie.
A woman wearing the niqab.
A young woman in dark blue jeans, green jacket and sporting a disdainful smile.
A man in a dark suit and red tie.
Opinions - Response to Michelle Dee's Gigging in Hull By Darren Bunting Music HQ
I enjoyed your article on thisisull about the local bands / promoters / scene at the moment and as a musician and promoter I agreed with 99% of what you said. The only thing I would argue/add would be that there are some promoters and venues who do try and make the effort for the artists (my gigs being one I hope LOL)
where acts get
Opinions - Response to Michelle Dee's Gigging in Hull By Dj Mak
In response to my good friend Michelle Dee's
Gigging In Hull
piece on ThisisUll.com
I thought it be right for me to explain the stance and ethos of The Sesh at
The Linnet & Lark on Princes Ave.
The night was started nearly four years ago - 4th Birthday Celebrations in
October -and was set up by myself with the help of Martin Knight of
The FavoursRead more...
Opinions - Gigging in Hull By Michelle Dee
First up, I think that bands should limit themselves as to how many local gigs they play.
Who is going to pay pounds to see a band at Adelphi or Piper when you can see them at the
Sesh for free?
Some of the bands are limiting themselves to only playing two or three local gigs a month which makes sense.
Don't forget the old adage; absence Read more...
Opinions - Response To Michelle Dee's Review Of Phonic Voices At Urban Artz Festival By Paul Rush
I just read your review of Phonic Voices at the Urban Arts Festival:
'Today it came in the form of Nicky a didgeridoo player from Phonic Voices
music collective, with a uniquely special sound.
It was a moment not to dissimilar to the one in the town of Hamlyn when a
certain piper enticed all the rodents away, from the town.
Nicky began to play her instrument
Opinions - Things Can Only Get Bitter By David Sloan
I'm sick to death of listening to people moaning about New Labour. They've only recently been voted in for a third term in office with a large credible majority. So just what do people want? Yes, things have got better under New Labour. If you're a burglar, mugger, paedophile, illegal immigrant, rapist or terrorist, things have definitely got better.
Under New Labour,
Opinions - It's Only A Game By Dave F
Question - What do you call an Englishman in a World Cup Final???
Answer - Referee.
Like most people in the country, I'm asking myself why...
Why didn't we get through to the final?
Why didn't Sven take better strikers?
Actually, I'm asking myself why the England team turn to jelly at the mention of the word
Penalty, and why we have to listen to excuses like
Opinions - Save Our Free School Meals By The Mental Alchemist
Q. What do you get if you cross neo-liberal economic policy with a liberal party city council?
A. No bloody change and the end of free school meals in Hull.
I sat in stunned belief whilst watching Look North today, as it was announced that Hull City Council have put a price on the health and wellbeing of all our children, and it's less than £4 million.
It actually cost the council a