First of all, shame on you if you may be thinking that I'm talking about a woman gauging her 'capacity', you've got a filthy mind. I'm talking about that age old saying 'you can count your friends on one hand'. My suggestion is that you'll have spare fingers too when you really think about it.
The dictionary definition of a friend varies slightly but is basically someone who you know well, likes you, enjoys your company and respects your opinions.
I would extend this definition, with perhaps the pre-fix 'True' friend, which would add that they would do anything they could to help you out (circumstances considered) for no reason other than that you are their friend. Not to curry favour, or to bank a return favour, yet at the same time, knowing you would do the same should the situation be reversed.
So with this in mind, let us try to break it down as to how many fingers you may still have up when you analyse it fully.
Lets start with the most obvious to pull apart; 'Social Networking Sites'. 'Friends'... 'Friends'... Friends my arse! How many of these so called 'friends' are you ever likely to ever see in the flesh, or actually communicate with on any other level than sat at a keyboard?
It really does baffle me why people want to go on these sites and tell anybody else who's dull enough to use them as well, about everything they do? Whatever happened to keeping your business to yourself? Save to say I think that 99.9% of these 'Facebook-Friends' (except for your mates who you see almost every day and you go out most weekends with) can be quickly discarded as 'Online Acquaintances' at best... Very best.
If my knowledge is correct, the average person has around fifty people on their mobile phone. How many of these would actually count as friends, using the template we've laid out above? How many of them are 'services' that you use? How many are work related? Whose number would you be most eager to get back should you lose your phone? How many do you have stored in your head... are these your nearest and dearest, the people who mean the most to you?
So now let's get to down to the nitty-gritty. Strip away the 'colleagues' at work (the people you DON'T choose to spend most of your life with, yet often they know the most intimate things about you).
As close as you may be with any of these work mates, how much of your free time do you choose to spend with these people, apart from the odd night out? How many of them would you keep in touch with if you got a job elsewhere? How many of them do you detest?
What about family? In most cases one would assume that you get on with your family, especially the most immediate members, who would love you as you would them, and to that end they would obviously be your friends. But we're discounting them, as they are loyal by association; 'blood is thicker than water' as they say.
I'm sure we all have family members who we wouldn't give the time of the day if they weren't family... haven't we? Yet, to coin another phrase, 'we can choose our friends; we can't choose our family'
So that leaves us with our 'friends' which we've accumulated during our time on the earth. Friends from school, friends who lived down your street, people you may have grown up with all of your lives, or others you've met on the journey.
Some are maybe good friends, who've moved on, or you hardly see nowadays, but there's always been a strong bond? Others have disappeared with good-riddance, but you've shared some great times with them? Others may no longer be with us, but would have featured? Of course they come and go over the years, and mean more to you at different times, you know who they are.
Now sit for a while, and think, REALLY THINK, under the terms 'True-Friend' stated above, how many friends have you got...
HOW MANY FINGERS HAVE YOU GOT UP? I've got 2 if you were interested!
Opinions - Time For A Football Revolution? By James Marsters
It's been a while since I've been tempted to write a whingeing article and it was this week's announcement of the winning world cup bids for 2018 and 2022 which brought me out of hibernation.
Now, as an Englishman, you might scoff and claim that I am a disgruntled fan who is suffering from an acute bout of sour grapes but I'm being honest when I say that I didn't want England to win the bid in the first place.
Opinions - Merry Christmas From Hull City Council Or Hull Not Fair By Dave Fox
I haven't had a whinge for quite a while now but recently something caught my attention and forced me to put pen to paper.
I've never really had a problem with Hull City Council despite them squandering my money on fibre-glass frogs and turning rush hour into a nightmare by putting road-works on most of our main roads all at the same time.
Whilst stuck in traffic yesterday I noticed a poster issued by Hull City Council which on first glance
Opinions - Big and Daft? By Dobski
A case of Natural Selection?
A question I've often asked myself is, and don't take this literally, but generally, are you less likely to be intelligent, the bigger your physical stature? We've all heard the saying, 'The larger the collar, the lower the IQ!', right?
Reasons I have thought this are ... when you look around at the jobs most big people do, they are usually something that demands a big person. Jobs like doorman
Opinions - Doing Drugs With Your Kids (Is It totally Wrong?) By Dobski
This idea may seem abhorrent at first thought and to most concerned, it probably is beyond even question, but let's think about it a bit.
Of course no-one in their right mind would endorse a combination of mother/father-son/ daughter sat in some squalid flat 'jacking' each other up, or passing a crack-pipe back and forth. To indulge in either of these substances at any age or situation is a path to almost inevitable destruction,
Opinions - Who Were You? By Dobski
Rock 'n' Roll, Teddy-boys, Hippies, Mods and Rockers, Punk, Hip-Hop, Rave, just some of the globally recognised scenes popular culture has spawned since the birth of recorded music as we know it. Scenes created, nurtured, often by a few, picked up on by the masses, and willfully adopted worldwide.
Most members of previous generations can instantly identify, when asked, which of these cults/ movements they associated themselves with as a youth.
Opinions - Arrest The Pope! By Christopher Skolik
To purposefully put out mad and dangerous notions; ('No Condoms, Death is Good, Sahame and Guilt that would seem to lead to Institutional Paedophilia'; do I need to go on here?) as FACTUAL - should be certainly criminal.
He can think this utter tosh, but it should be qualified with a psychological health warning, eg. 'No evidence - may lead to AIDS and mass starvation, lead normal male sezuality into twisted paedophilia', maybe.
Look into his eyes - or those of JP2.
Opinions - Jon Venables: Better a Monster than a No Mark? By Christopher Skolik
Thompson and Venables where already 'monsters' when they met James Bulger. That much is clear. Everyone is agreed on that. Circumstances had left the two 10 year olds so numb that self induced trauma was all they had left.
After the events on the railway track the nation was shocked - but we could have started screening for similar kids. We know the signs, but we howled, and baptised
Opinions - East Riding Writers By Jan Mc Geachie
Perhaps you can solve the mystery of why there is little here to help promote writers here in East Riding?
To enter the New Writing North awards you have to live in Tyne and Wear, the Tees Valley, County Durham or Northumberland. Signposts only have Writers Resource Centres in Sheffield Barnsley and Rotherham. NAWG lists nine writers clubs in Yorkshire, the largest county in England - yet the Wolds remains a literary wilderness.
Opinions - An Ordinary Blokes Blog By Gary Clark
Why am I worried at my age in life? I've been quite successful so far, for an Endike lad. I say that because nothing much was expected of us when were turfed out of school at 15 with a limited education under our belts. Although we did not realise it at the time, until it was too late.
You see we were all in the same boat. No-one knew any better, that's what we did; suffered the boringness of a Secondary school education, then followed our older
Opinions - The Green Electrek Power Company By David Sloan
A radical answer to mass unemployment, endemic obesity and the clean energy crisis.Benefits
Full employment. Cheap green electricity. Reduced oil and gas imports. Higher government tax revenues. Income for all people, regardless of educational skills. Healthier people, fitter people, less overweight people. Less social destitution, less heart disease, less mental health problems, less diabetes.
The NHS now spends £3000 a second on people
Opinions - Wacko Jacko RIP By Christopher Skolik
Since the death of Michael Jackson there has been much chatter about how we should forget the more troubling aspects and focus on the music.
To me that seems wrong headed and a waste!
His life may arguably prove the real art of this individual; he had the means and the psychology to change reality, and his physicality.
Like a Batman villain, living in a fun house as though a Scooby Doo phantom, drawing on the collective unconscious and its pop culture references,
Opinions - Hull City Council and the Concrete Jungle
Thought I'd share my thoughts with you over the council putting a car park where LAs is/was.
Glad to see our creative and pro-active council always thinking of exciting new ways to develop the city. Another car park will be great for the city: with more cars coming into the city centre we could employ some more traffic wardens creating more jobs and more revenue for the council.
Please don't pretend that
Opinions - Was Bob Quick 'Blunder' A Deliberate Smokescreen? By Michelle Dee
By now we will all have seen the disturbing images of Ian Tomlinson, the victim of an unprovoked assault by a police officer at the G20 Protest last weekend. Unlucky for the Metropolitan Police Force, news crews were filming at the time and caught the incident on camera.
Watching the Guardian's footage you can clearly see the officer stepping forward and the moment when the unsuspecting Ian Tomlinson
Opinions - COOL ! By Andrew Wastling
I woke up feeling optimistic about the future of the planet for the first time in many years
After eight wasted years of what amounts to government by a fascist junta of gangsters, crooks and warmongers - perhaps we can all hope that the US under Obama will now take a more progressive road and a lead on the environment for a change?
Opinions - Barack Obama By Lee Cassanell
Civilisations rise and fall. People live and people die but sometimes we are lucky enough to bear witness to moments of great historical significance, moments of pure hope and optimism for a better world and a better tomorrow.
The election of Senator Barack Obama has renewed my belief in the American public and the American ideal. It has renewed my belief that no matter who you are or were you come from,
Opinions - Dating Nightmare Part 2 By Leah Scarpati
I'm pleased to say that I have a different slant on the subject now. I'm so fickle...all it takes is a month of dating with a TDH rugby playing fireman and the dating garden's all rosy!
All the time I was complaining about the crap first dates with guys I very easily found something wrong with (often when there probably wasn't actually anything wrong with them); I wasn't really thinking too far ahead.