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Last Updated: 16/02/2011 13:45:04
How Many Fingers Have You Got Up?
By Dobski

First of all, shame on you if you may be thinking that I'm talking about a woman gauging her 'capacity', you've got a filthy mind. I'm talking about that age old saying 'you can count your friends on one hand'. My suggestion is that you'll have spare fingers too when you really think about it.

The dictionary definition of a friend varies slightly but is basically someone who you know well, likes you, enjoys your company and respects your opinions.
I would extend this definition, with perhaps the pre-fix 'True' friend, which would add that they would do anything they could to help you out (circumstances considered) for no reason other than that you are their friend. Not to curry favour, or to bank a return favour, yet at the same time, knowing you would do the same should the situation be reversed.
So with this in mind, let us try to break it down as to how many fingers you may still have up when you analyse it fully.

Lets start with the most obvious to pull apart; 'Social Networking Sites'. 'Friends'... 'Friends'... Friends my arse! How many of these so called 'friends' are you ever likely to ever see in the flesh, or actually communicate with on any other level than sat at a keyboard?
It really does baffle me why people want to go on these sites and tell anybody else who's dull enough to use them as well, about everything they do? Whatever happened to keeping your business to yourself? Save to say I think that 99.9% of these 'Facebook-Friends' (except for your mates who you see almost every day and you go out most weekends with) can be quickly discarded as 'Online Acquaintances' at best... Very best.
If my knowledge is correct, the average person has around fifty people on their mobile phone. How many of these would actually count as friends, using the template we've laid out above? How many of them are 'services' that you use? How many are work related? Whose number would you be most eager to get back should you lose your phone? How many do you have stored in your head... are these your nearest and dearest, the people who mean the most to you?
So now let's get to down to the nitty-gritty. Strip away the 'colleagues' at work (the people you DON'T choose to spend most of your life with, yet often they know the most intimate things about you).

As close as you may be with any of these work mates, how much of your free time do you choose to spend with these people, apart from the odd night out? How many of them would you keep in touch with if you got a job elsewhere? How many of them do you detest?
What about family? In most cases one would assume that you get on with your family, especially the most immediate members, who would love you as you would them, and to that end they would obviously be your friends. But we're discounting them, as they are loyal by association; 'blood is thicker than water' as they say.

I'm sure we all have family members who we wouldn't give the time of the day if they weren't family... haven't we? Yet, to coin another phrase, 'we can choose our friends; we can't choose our family'
So that leaves us with our 'friends' which we've accumulated during our time on the earth. Friends from school, friends who lived down your street, people you may have grown up with all of your lives, or others you've met on the journey.
Some are maybe good friends, who've moved on, or you hardly see nowadays, but there's always been a strong bond? Others have disappeared with good-riddance, but you've shared some great times with them? Others may no longer be with us, but would have featured? Of course they come and go over the years, and mean more to you at different times, you know who they are.

Now sit for a while, and think, REALLY THINK, under the terms 'True-Friend' stated above, how many friends have you got...
HOW MANY FINGERS HAVE YOU GOT UP? I've got 2 if you were interested!
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