The people around here are so cosmopolitan that they take delight in telling me 'it's cheaper in pound shop'. I love it when they do that.
Eighteen of us stand there all day, self employed, losing money. We have done now for almost a fortnight, although it does seem longer. No-one is taking enough money to pay the rent which is collected daily. That's in case anyone tops themselves before the week is out and departs this earth owing rent. For we cannot have that. Retail in a northern town 2009. Dragons Den, my arse.
I'd have liked to have retired at 55, perhaps I should have been a copper.
Only I have a conscience, unlike the two lazy bastards who ignored my terrified daughter and her boyfriend's
pleas for help last night.
She's the one who stands all day to earn nothing in this market. This city's young, having a go, showing some enterprise but not earning enough to pay the daily rent.
Walking home from Chi-Chi's, they cannot afford the taxi fare (she doesn't get any wages, remember?). They are accosted by two black guys on Beverley Road at 3.30 in the morning; 'Give us your money or we'll slit your throat and rape your girlfriend,' was the greeting.
They were terrified and both ran away. They had no money, but on seeing a police van parked outside a pizza takeaway they thought they were safe. On explaining what had happened to them to the two policemen inside the takeaway, the coppers replied, 'We have to eat'. We have to fucking eat!
There could have been a murder and a rape outside the fucking shop and these two 'servants of the community' are too busy ordering pizza.
My daughter even pointed the two guys out who were across the road seemingly waiting for them. The police ordered pizza, and a side portion of chips. They offered no assistance at all. Probably the same lazy bastards who hide behind a privet hedge in a morning then jump out to slap a £60 fixed penalty ticket on any poor bastard rushing to work who might have strayed into the bus lane.
They can retire at 50, with a pension paid for by me and you, if we haven't been murdered first walking home from a night out whilst they order pizza.
And I wonder why I cannot sleep?
I wonder, why I am worried for the future?
I think I'll move to Cottingham, it's safer there so they tell me.
Opinions - The Sexuality of the 9/11 Attacks By Christopher Skolik
The Pentagon is itself a potent symbol of manhood and military virility.
It goes without saying that was an act of violent homoerotic self extinction and assault-as if the terrorists could not survive such an act of homoerotic penetration, their out dated belief system and self ideation would not allow it-no matter how metaphorical the act. Only the unification of sex and death could breach that gap.
Opinions - Iraq War Theme Park By Christopher Skolik
War seems to be a human necessity, a requirement on some basic level.
To counteract the dangers of random disorganised war springing up I suggest
we turn Iraq into a fully functioning war zone theme park -all the benefits
of paint balling but with the relief of tension that only live ammunition and
Opinions - Notes Toward a Chavology By Christopher Skolik
The local Hull 'chav' lad needs profiling and placing in his rightful context.
Fiercely proud of his 'thickness'- intelligence is not to be trusted, it might unleash all kinds of awful weirdness upon his world, a world he clings to with the whitened knuckles of the drowning man, the perennial cry of 'Don't get clever with me' echoes across council estates of the north ...
Opinions - Maureen Lipman at Pave By Sean
Just saw Maureen Lipman at a reading at the Pave.
It took two attempts to gain entrance. At the first attempt i was turned away on the grounds that it was a private function - apparently i didn't look 'Avenues' enough. I'm Avenues enough to have my taxes pay for it, mind.
I just got in in time to catch a couple of 'anecdotes' which mocked the poverty of working
Opinions - All At Sea Or Way Out West? (Orwellian Nightmare Or Whitehall Farce?) By D R Callaghan
Admiral Sir Alan West wants us to 'snitch' on our neighbours, friends and even on our own family. Who's he? I hear you ask. He's none other than the Government's new 'Security Minister'.
Isn't it comforting to know that we now have a 'Security Minister' (Big Brother?) looking after our 'way of life'?
The former First Sea Lord also warned that Britain faces a 15-year battle
Opinions - Candle In The Wind By Jim Higo
Who'd want to be a Bosnian landmine victim? Terrible injuries, lost limbs, scarred for life and then to cap it all, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you get a visit from Princess Diana.
Just when it seemed your life had reached its absolute nadir, you see her coming at you with those big eyes, like a spaced out Desert Orchid.
Opinions - Depart For New Earth By David Sloan
Depart for new earth AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Professor Stephen Hawking said recently that for the human race to survive we must gain a foothold on another planet, and as if by divine intervention our astronomers soon found another earth-like planet in the heavens.
It has a mass five times that of earth and is probably made of the same sort of rock with
Opinions - Trees Are Bastards By Sally Satan
Now amidst all the current chatter of climate change inevitably being a Bad Thing, the still small voice of calm must be heard.
How many people do you know who have died recently as a direct result of climate change?
And yet we go on, beating ourselves up for being human and not animal or mineral, and for ruining the planet. But we should
Opinions - The Reception of Wisdom By Kenton Hall
There is a story that I tell. I likely tell it far too often and one of these days, a friend or family member is going to sneak up behind me and garrotte me with a length of fishing line.
No, it's not the one about that. Or that one, either.
Now that I think about it, there are many stories that I tell too often.
However, the story I am referring to today recalls the moment
Opinions - Divided We Fall By Lee Cassanell
"The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular
representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them" Karl Marx
So Tony Blair's pledge to end poverty has taken a kick in the teeth after the news that 300,000 (or 200,000 or 100,000 depending on which paper or website you read) more children have slipped below the line.
Opinions - Real Men Do Not Need Real Doll.com By Jo Allison
At age 12, little girls and boys should put Barbie and Ken back to sleep safely in their plastic boxes, as adults move on from pretend friends, to actual ones.
But for a select group of scary cyborg-lovers who prefer plastic to flesh, life size Real Dolls made from 100% silicone are the next step up from Barbie dolls. They make the perfect playmates, so I'm told.
But who exactly
Opinions - Goody, Goody, Yum, Yum - Racism and Jade Goody By Lee Cassanell
We all decry prejudice, yet are all prejudiced; Herbert Spencer
The problem with racism is there is currently no well known or vicious enough word that another race can use to discriminate against white people.
In fact during an extensive search of the internet the only even mildly offensive term I could find was
"Honky" and if you are white and offended
Opinions - In Response To Fiona Carr's Hands On Our Arts By Esther Windsor
I am writing in response to Fiona Carr's recent article Hands On Our Arts in
the Opinions section of thisisull.com :
to say that Hull Time Based Arts is alive and well.
In the article discussing funding of art and cultural services in Hull she says
'We have seen the collapse of Hull Art Lab, we saw Hull Time Based ArtsRead more...
Opinions - In Response to The Mental Alchemist's Save Our Free School Meals
Mental Alchemist shows an unerring ability to turn gold into lead with the mixture of inaccuracy,
sloppy thinking, and basic political illiteracy.
To start at the most basic there is not a Liberal Party Cabinet on Hull City Council.
Indeed, despite all the treachery and re-branding exercises, there is not even a Liberal on the Council.