Who'd want to be a Bosnian landmine victim? Terrible injuries, lost limbs, scarred for life and then to cap it all, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you get a visit from Princess Diana.
Just when it seemed your life had reached its absolute nadir, you see her coming at you with those big eyes, like a spaced out Desert Orchid.
It's almost 10 years since Diana died and the Daily Express still insist that there are so many unanswered questions about her life.
Personally I've only got one unanswered question about Diana and that question is was
there anybody she didn't shag?
But it's the boys you've got to feel sorry for; Harry and Wills. Imagine how devastating it must have been to their development having to miss out on all that hands-on parental guidance.
Lets be honest, without Di how were they going to know how to successfully negotiate the slalom at Kloisters, or develop the knack of making secret visits to hospitals which still manage to get coverage in the news, or how to chew your food without swallowing, or fail all of your O levels; twice.
I don't know how they coped; perhaps they got a nanny, or one of the butlers, or a personal aid or secretary to help them.
Of course it's sad when a child loses a parent at a young age, but the idea that their loss might constitute the same sort of devastation as it might for a family on Bransholme, is quite clearly ridiculous.
Unless of course I'm wrong and Charlie used to go round the Post Office to collect his single parent benefit and fill in his tax credit claim form, and maybe he had to push a pram round to his mothers at half six in a morning before he went off to do his cleaning job.
It's hard to think that it's ten years since Middle England cried those media-inspired tears into their G&Ts, wiped their eyes on the Union Flag, put down their Daily Mails and took their teddies and roses to Kensington Palace.
Not since the Falkland's war and the miners' strike had Britain seen such a blatantly orchestrated, Tory-press-induced display of misplaced and manufactured patriotism. This pathetic outpouring of grief for someone who was nothing more than a rich posh slapper who got lucky, was a sad reflection on a society that seems to revel in misery.
These dribbling, sniveling mourners should have taken a leaf out of Keith Richard's book who when asked how he felt about Diana's death retorted
I don't know,
I never met the chick. Now that's class.
And now we've had the memorial concert arranged by the boys in tribute to their mother.
The appearance of George Michael, Elton John, Take That, Duran Duran, Jason Donovan,
Will Young and Lily Allen saw Wembley packed to the rafters with people from every walk of society ranging from gay, middle class, middle aged men to more gay, middle class, middle aged men.
Wembley hasn't seen that much make-up and camp behaviour since Ashley Cole's last England appearance.
But I'm not without a heart and I will admit to feeling some sympathy for Harry, its hard not to feel sorry for him. Not only has he had to cope with the loss of his Mother while coming to terms with his innate gingerness, but at the same time he's had to try and work out who his Dad is.
Depart for new earth AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Professor Stephen Hawking said recently that for the human race to survive we must gain a foothold on another planet, and as if by divine intervention our astronomers soon found another earth-like planet in the heavens.
It has a mass five times that of earth and is probably made of the same sort of rock with
Opinions - Trees Are Bastards By Sally Satan
Now amidst all the current chatter of climate change inevitably being a Bad Thing, the still small voice of calm must be heard.
How many people do you know who have died recently as a direct result of climate change?
And yet we go on, beating ourselves up for being human and not animal or mineral, and for ruining the planet. But we should
Opinions - The Reception of Wisdom By Kenton Hall
There is a story that I tell. I likely tell it far too often and one of these days, a friend or family member is going to sneak up behind me and garrotte me with a length of fishing line.
No, it's not the one about that. Or that one, either.
Now that I think about it, there are many stories that I tell too often.
However, the story I am referring to today recalls the moment
Opinions - Divided We Fall By Lee Cassanell
"The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular
representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them" Karl Marx
So Tony Blair's pledge to end poverty has taken a kick in the teeth after the news that 300,000 (or 200,000 or 100,000 depending on which paper or website you read) more children have slipped below the line.
Opinions - Real Men Do Not Need Real Doll.com By Jo Allison
At age 12, little girls and boys should put Barbie and Ken back to sleep safely in their plastic boxes, as adults move on from pretend friends, to actual ones.
But for a select group of scary cyborg-lovers who prefer plastic to flesh, life size Real Dolls made from 100% silicone are the next step up from Barbie dolls. They make the perfect playmates, so I'm told.
But who exactly
Opinions - Goody, Goody, Yum, Yum - Racism and Jade Goody By Lee Cassanell
We all decry prejudice, yet are all prejudiced; Herbert Spencer
The problem with racism is there is currently no well known or vicious enough word that another race can use to discriminate against white people.
In fact during an extensive search of the internet the only even mildly offensive term I could find was
"Honky" and if you are white and offended
Opinions - In Response To Fiona Carr's Hands On Our Arts By Esther Windsor
I am writing in response to Fiona Carr's recent article Hands On Our Arts in
the Opinions section of thisisull.com :
to say that Hull Time Based Arts is alive and well.
In the article discussing funding of art and cultural services in Hull she says
'We have seen the collapse of Hull Art Lab, we saw Hull Time Based ArtsRead more...
Opinions - In Response to The Mental Alchemist's Save Our Free School Meals
Mental Alchemist shows an unerring ability to turn gold into lead with the mixture of inaccuracy,
sloppy thinking, and basic political illiteracy.
To start at the most basic there is not a Liberal Party Cabinet on Hull City Council.
Indeed, despite all the treachery and re-branding exercises, there is not even a Liberal on the Council.
Opinions - Hands On Our Arts By Fiona Carr
ThisisUll has good arts coverage and a clear interest in the vibrancy of the cultural scene,
even if it seems a bit indie/ethnic leaning.
It may well be that nobody is interested in the Art galleries and museums, or the
City Hall/New Theatre though there was a time events were featured on these pages around 2004.
However it is astonishing not one
Opinions - In support of Jack 'Last' Straw By Pablo Luis Gonzàlez
I watched in disbelief as people walked around dressed in a most shameful and
obscene diversity of clothes:
A young woman in faded blue jeans, brown boots and low cut yellow top.
A man in a dark blue suit and tie.
A woman wearing the niqab.
A young woman in dark blue jeans, green jacket and sporting a disdainful smile.
A man in a dark suit and red tie.
Opinions - Response to Michelle Dee's Gigging in Hull By Darren Bunting Music HQ
I enjoyed your article on thisisull about the local bands / promoters / scene at the moment and as a musician and promoter I agreed with 99% of what you said. The only thing I would argue/add would be that there are some promoters and venues who do try and make the effort for the artists (my gigs being one I hope LOL)
where acts get
Opinions - Response to Michelle Dee's Gigging in Hull By Dj Mak
In response to my good friend Michelle Dee's
Gigging In Hull
piece on ThisisUll.com
I thought it be right for me to explain the stance and ethos of The Sesh at
The Linnet & Lark on Princes Ave.
The night was started nearly four years ago - 4th Birthday Celebrations in
October -and was set up by myself with the help of Martin Knight of
The FavoursRead more...
Opinions - Gigging in Hull By Michelle Dee
First up, I think that bands should limit themselves as to how many local gigs they play.
Who is going to pay pounds to see a band at Adelphi or Piper when you can see them at the
Sesh for free?
Some of the bands are limiting themselves to only playing two or three local gigs a month which makes sense.
Don't forget the old adage; absence Read more...
Opinions - Response To Michelle Dee's Review Of Phonic Voices At Urban Artz Festival By Paul Rush
I just read your review of Phonic Voices at the Urban Arts Festival:
'Today it came in the form of Nicky a didgeridoo player from Phonic Voices
music collective, with a uniquely special sound.
It was a moment not to dissimilar to the one in the town of Hamlyn when a
certain piper enticed all the rodents away, from the town.
Nicky began to play her instrument
Opinions - Things Can Only Get Bitter By David Sloan
I'm sick to death of listening to people moaning about New Labour. They've only recently been voted in for a third term in office with a large credible majority. So just what do people want? Yes, things have got better under New Labour. If you're a burglar, mugger, paedophile, illegal immigrant, rapist or terrorist, things have definitely got better.
Under New Labour,
Opinions - It's Only A Game By Dave F
Question - What do you call an Englishman in a World Cup Final???
Answer - Referee.
Like most people in the country, I'm asking myself why...
Why didn't we get through to the final?
Why didn't Sven take better strikers?
Actually, I'm asking myself why the England team turn to jelly at the mention of the word
Penalty, and why we have to listen to excuses like