Candle In The Wind (1/2) By Jim Higo

(1/2), (2/2).

Who'd want to be a Bosnian landmine victim? Terrible injuries, lost limbs, scarred for life and then to cap it all, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you get a visit from Princess Diana. Just when it seemed your life had reached its absolute nadir, you see her coming at you with those big eyes, like a spaced out Desert Orchid. It's almost 10 years since Diana died and the Daily Express still insist that there are so many unanswered questions about her life. Personally I've only got one unanswered question about Diana and that question is was there anybody she didn't shag?

But it's the boys you've got to feel sorry for; Harry and Wills. Imagine how devastating it must have been to their development having to miss out on all that hands-on parental guidance. Lets be honest, without Di how were they going to know how to successfully negotiate the slalom at Kloisters, or develop the knack of making secret visits to hospitals which still manage to get coverage in the news, or how to chew your food without swallowing, or fail all of your O levels; twice. I don't know how they coped; perhaps they got a nanny, or one of the butlers, or a personal aid or secretary to help them.

Of course it's sad when a child loses a parent at a young age, but the idea that their loss might constitute the same sort of devastation as it might for a family on Bransholme, is quite clearly ridiculous. Unless of course I'm wrong and Charlie used to go round the Post Office to collect his single parent benefit and fill in his tax credit claim form, and maybe he had to push a pram round to his mothers at half six in a morning before he went off to do his cleaning job. It's hard to think that it's ten years since Middle England cried those media-inspired tears into their G&Ts, wiped their eyes on the Union Flag, put down their Daily Mails and took their teddies and roses to Kensington Palace.

Not since the Falkland's war and the miners' strike had Britain seen such a blatantly orchestrated, Tory-press-induced display of misplaced and manufactured patriotism. This pathetic outpouring of grief for someone who was nothing more than a rich posh slapper who got lucky, was a sad reflection on a society that seems to revel in misery. These dribbling, sniveling mourners should have taken a leaf out of Keith Richard's book who when asked how he felt about Diana's death retorted I don't know, I never met the chick. Now that's class.

And now we've had the memorial concert arranged by the boys in tribute to their mother. The appearance of George Michael, Elton John, Take That, Duran Duran, Jason Donovan, Will Young and Lily Allen saw Wembley packed to the rafters with people from every walk of society ranging from gay, middle class, middle aged men to more gay, middle class, middle aged men. Wembley hasn't seen that much make-up and camp behaviour since Ashley Cole's last England appearance. But I'm not without a heart and I will admit to feeling some sympathy for Harry, its hard not to feel sorry for him. Not only has he had to cope with the loss of his Mother while coming to terms with his innate gingerness, but at the same time he's had to try and work out who his Dad is.

Continued.... Next Page (2/2)

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