The Reception of Wisdom (1/2) By Kenton Hall

(1/2), (2/2).

There is a story that I tell. I likely tell it far too often and one of these days, a friend or family member is going to sneak up behind me and garrotte me with a length of fishing line. No, it's not the one about that. Or that one, either. Now that I think about it, there are many stories that I tell too often. However, the story I am referring to today recalls the moment I stopped reading "Q" magazine, shortly followed by all music journalism.

I must warn you ahead of time, in order for this story to make any sense, I am going to have to slag off Coldplay.

I know many of you love Coldplay. I understand that Coldplay have guided you through your darkest hours, and I know that you probably had your first orgasm to the closing bars of "Clocks" after years of believing that you were incapable of such an eruption. I know your acne cleared up; I know the tumour vanished. Nonetheless, from a lyricist's point of view, Chris Martin is the Devil. It's not minimalist, it's not sacrificing depth to the aural wash. His lyrics are appalling and if I have ever cried during a Coldplay record, it has been from exasperation.

Also, you can sing Yellow to any one of their tracks, even the one they nicked off Kraftwerk. Try it. My point is proved. All of that is my personal opinion. A well-informed and, quite frankly, correct opinion, but still only an opinion. In Q magazine's review of "X & Y", several paragraphs were devoted to the fact that Mr. Martin's lyrics were at best "trite" and, at worst, well, let's just say the review married to my opinion with as much success as Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

The review gave the album five out of five stars. The lyrics were shit, but it was still a five-star album. Huh? Now, I admit there are good records in which the lyrics don't live up to the music, and vice versa. But it is a failing. And, frankly, as we're talking about "SONGS" here.... song (n) - a short metrical composition intended or adapted for singing, esp. one in rhymed stanzas; a lyric; a ballad.

... frankly the lyrics are rather important. (If you're writing a piece of music where the meaning is purely in the music, then don't screw it up with awful fucking lyrics.)

But apparently, Coldplay's utter lack of ability or craft in 50% of the art of song writing didn't matter a jot to this particular reviewer, nor to many of his ilk. I can't read music magazines anymore. They make me far too angry. And if I wanted to spend £3.75 working myself into a fit of rage, I'd call my mother long-distance. But this has become the status quo. "Who listens to the lyrics?" they say to me. "But it has a catchy tune!" they squeal. "Ow! You've broken my nose!" they proclaim.

Continued.... Next Page (2/2)

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