Leeds Festival - Part One (3/6) By Joe Hakim Photos By Stuart Mountain and Mak

(1/6), (2/6), (3/6), (4/6), (5/6), (6/6).

Day One

When you sleep in a tent, you're freezing cold for the entire night, but as soon as the sun comes out, the temperature shoots up and you wake up panting like a dog in a hot car, unable to catch a breath. I stumbled out of my tent into the morning air. It was only day one, but my tent was already surrounded with empty beer cans and other bits of rubbish. I was horrified to discover that it was only eight in the morning. I cracked open a tinny and took a mouthful of warm beer. Why didn't I bring a fucking coolbox? As I lit up my cig, my stomach began to make strange whimpering noises. It was time; I would have to face the dreaded toilets.

Festival toilets have passed into legend, and for good reason. As I approached I instantly understood. The toilets were in fact just cubicles suspended over an open pit. After looking around for a bit, I found a reasonable commode with a functioning seat and a latch on the door. As I entered, I looked into the pit. The piss, shit and congealed toilet roll was already stacked up, and the most pungent, rancid smell you can imagine filled my nostrils. I held onto my mouth and gagged as I wiped the seat. I could see the turds of the person in the cubicle opposite me as they hit the shit-mountain below. I dropped my pants and lowered myself onto the seat.

By now it was becoming obvious to me that there was absolutely no way that I could hope to cover the festival in any kind of conventional sense, so I made a few notes while I emptied my bowels, accompanied by the slap of other people's waste as it landed in the pit below.

After the ordeal was over, I drew a no-entry sign on the door with a marker pen and performed a quick banishing ritual, to ensure that the toilet would be mine for the rest of the weekend, and then I went back to my tent. We went to the arena. You're not allowed to take any booze in with you, so we had to drain our cans before we got there. Today would be the first proper day, the day when the festival began for real.

First up was The Bonnitts on the Topman unsigned stage. There was a big crowd there, and a whole section seemed to be a Hull reunion. Alan Raw acted as MC, Mak and Darren Rogers from the Sesh were there, as well as various members of different Hull bands, including The Landaus, The Dirty Dreamers, City Ghosts, The Paddingtons and others.

There was a real sense of community, and it was good to see everyone leaving their egos and agendas at home and just chilling out and enjoying the tunes. It was also a real show of force, an announcement that stated in mile-high letters: We are 'ull.

Continued..... Next Page (4/6).

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