Thursday 15th December 05 - Band Wars at The Polar Bear By Michelle Dee Band Wars 2005 Result is an Insult to Hull Music.

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You know there's something amiss when you have to explain the presence of your bar staff in one of the bands to reach the final four. The competition was held at Polar Bear, the prize was a £1000. The four bands in the final were Jilly hates Willy Konscience, The Cyclones and The Landaus. There really was no contest or shouldn't have been... Jilly hates Willy were poor, plain and simple: vocally poor, unimaginative, bland and mediocre, like the worst ever high school band you ever saw.

I missed the beginning of their set but was reliably informed it was just more of the same dirge-filled caterwauling of the numbers I did catch. They were monotonous, uninspiring and not in the same league as the other bands at all.

Brand new bands, with just a handful of gigs to their name, such as The Chase, Foot Loose and anyone else you care to mention would have put these also-rans to shame. In fact, may I apologise to those bands for mentioning them in the same breath as this fourth rate band. How they got through to a final of anything is beyond comprehension. The applause for Jilly hates Willy was muted and sporadic. Up next were Konscience, peddling their middle of the road rock with so-so instrumentation, a band you may remember that got knocked out at Staks BotB in the summer.

They did however show improvement from last time I saw them. I admit to a little jig and a bit of foot tapping whilst I was standing down the front, but the band largely failed to engage or excite the crowd. More gig experience and better songs might elevate them to being more than a third rate act. Their applause was also muted.

The Cyclones were a functions band and almost like a novelty act, with their matching ties and dark jackets. Their name suggested an influence from a different era and their style of music proved this to be true. They played safe sixties pop rock that your ageing auntie would get down to. To be fair, as a friend of mine pointed out they were good at what they did. They were upbeat with a cheerful outlook but weren't anything to write home about; a lounge act at best. Book them for weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs. I can't be too sure but one or two numbers sounded suspiciously like covers. Their applause was reasonable, not sustained, but some people were politely clapping.

So last up were Hulls flagship band The Landaus. Quite simply, one of the hardest working, dedicated unsigned bands in the region. They did what they do best; what they nearly always achieve at every single gig they play; rocked the place to its foundations. If you look at each of the band members individually you'd be hard pushed to find a chink in their armour.

Steff on drums is probably the best, most entertaining percussionist in Hull. Bass player Gaz never fails to impress taking more and more of a stand within the band, and showing more moments of rock bravado, overflowing with confidence and talent. The vocal duties are shared between Loz, and taking a seemingly bigger vocal role than earlier in the year, Danny. These two guys work well together, you can read many a review that compliments them on their vocal prowess. But these days they seem to be pushing the envelope further and challenging each other to deliver ever more complicated, layered lyrical compositions with gusto.

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