When You Think About IT ..

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): a) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. b) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

c) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

d) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to re install the engine.

e) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only 5% of the roads. f) The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This car has performed an illegal operation" warning light.

g) The air-bag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. h) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. i) Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. j) You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Humour - Good Diet Conclusion

Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 2. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heartattacks than the British or Americans. Read more...

Humour - Valentine Special...Odd Couples by Jane Foster

	As the old saying goes, opposites attract. Love can blossom between unlikely individuals. Love can cross boundaries of age, culture, distance..even extreme political ideologies. Let me show you our gallery of some of these couples.. people who have found true, everlasting love, despite cultural and political barriers, despite the prejudices and reactions of others. Read more...

Humour - Is it All Over for the Personal Ads? by Jane Foster

	At one time, joining a dating agency or putting a personal ad in the paper was seen as the mark of desperation. If anyone did do it, they seldom admitted it - unless they actually ended up meeting someone and staying with them. Then the details of how they met might leak out slowly.. But technology has changed the way people meet and interact, and one of the most common pastimes is.. Read more...

Aircraft and Airshows - Aircraft Stamps By Tony

By popular request, the ballroom dancer is back! I've been urged by email and phone to give you more aircraft stamps from around the world. So here is a selection of my favourites which I hope will whet your appetites. I'm hoping that other philatelists will come forward and show us what stamps they are collecting. Read more...

Sports - Sunday League 13th Dec 2003 Kurdish HASSG Lions 6 - Spartan B Team 2.

	by Mo with 4 Video AVI's of The Game The Match kicks off just after 11 am, and the Kurdish team waste no time in attacking the Spartan B team. Azad (9) begins his hat trick onslaught by hitting the post in the first minute of play. A second attack sees Azad outpace the Spartan B defence and side steps the keeper to open his account. Read more...

Aircraft and Airshows - The Yorkshire Airshow - Elvington 2003 By Tony

What a pleasure to be here for 2 days (24th - 25th August)! We were fully entertained with a diverse mix of aircraft. Both days of the flying program opened with the superb Red Arrows. Unfortunately, on the first day they had to abort their display for safety reasons when three light aircraft strayed in to the six mile display zone. Without doubt there must be an investigation into this misdemeanour and culprits brought to book. Read more...

Articles - Our Telephone Pole By Mo

	Poking my head out of the window I asked "Can I take some pictures for the website?". "No problem came the reply" from Alan the team leader looking up from the base of the pole. Another story lands in my lap I thought, as I unloaded the battery charger and slipped the first rechargeable into our 150 quid Minolta digital camera. Read more...

Poetry - Sunday Footie

	By Darren Sant Excited young faces, Stick thin legs and untied laces, Breathlessly chasing the ball, Youngsters large and small. Read more...

Articles - Hull is Fab and Super

	by Suzie Horsington-cum-Scoff Well I couldn't believe it when I heard that two nasty people had published a book about Hull being a crap town. Which is why I have decided to show my social conscience and write this article. Apparently it all started with someone called Finlay Cooks-Britain, who is a celebrity chef or something, slagging Hull off as being crap and smelly. Read more...

Sports - Take Me to the River - Carp Anglers by Mo

	I am an amateur angler, mostly river fishing as a youth at a time when televisions were black and white. I was 14 maybe, I had my own rods (3) and tackle, a selection of floats, some ledger weights, hooks and line, all kept in our shed alongside my recent purchase of maggots. I always took great pleasure in seeing my four sisters scream and run at the sight of these little yellow .. Read more...

Places to Visit - Our Samhain Visit to Avebury by Janie Spencer
	Before we start on our journey, let me give you a bit of background on Avebury. It is a beautiful stone circle, so big that you can in fact fit a village inside it, as you can see from this overhead map! As well as being a tourist spot, it is both a home and a gathering Read more...

Holidays - Ibiza, The World Keeps Gurning By Andi
	Ibiza has long been known as the clubbing capital of the world. However, recent years have seen the development of resorts such as Ayai Nappa in Cyprus and Faliraki in Rhodes. This has lead to a fairly wide-spread belief that Ibiza is dying it's death. Read more...

Holidays - Al's Trip To Croatia By Allen Miles
	£649 is a lot of money in most people's eyes. And to spend that much money on seven days away when you're only earning £130 a week might be in a very real way considered lunacy. However, I decided to go for three reasons; Read more...