The Blockheads New Writing Festival by by Jane Foster Hull Truck Theatre June 23rd continued Special Guest Reviewers

Michael Jackson - D-List celebrity with a confusing skin disorder

Snoop Doggy Dogg - A gentleman entertainer who likes the ladies

Barry White - A gentleman entertainer who lurves the ladies

BENCH By Jack Brady

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A torrid tale of the amazing things witnessed by a bench with the power of speech Michael - Hey guys, I liked this one. It's quite clever. The way they changed between characters and all that going on. Snoop - Oh yeah? Well I don't mind all this theatre shit, but there's not exactly bitches shakin' their booty at'cha, is there? Know what I'm sayin'? Barry - Come on, Snoop. This is entertainment of the highest Hull order. You know if we weren't here tonight we'd be sittin' there in the Nagshead on Newland Avenue? Michael - Yeah, it could be worse, you guys. I hear some guy murdered Billie Jean on karaoke there the other night. Snoop - You mean they could make it worse, yo? Barry - Now guys, let's be friends. I thought this play was pretty good. The best one of the night in fact Michael - Yeah, the bench was used as a focal point for lots of queer goings on Snoop - You'd know about that wouldn't ya, you mad McKid-Munchin mutha? Barry - guys, it's time you made up. Life's too short to be fussin' and a fightin', dontcha agree? How can I make you two see? Michael - Ee-hee! Snoop - I thought we'd quit the motherfuckin' rhyme? Michael - Oh Snoop, I had to do one more time. Barry - Oh guys, you talk about peace and love, and homies and hoes and bitches, but never about what's going on in this sweet theatre of Hull that is Truck. Snoop - Yo, fuck Michael - Quit the swearin' for a mo, Snoop. This Hull theatre stuff is kinda serious. I think Hull is a place where dreams could come true. In fact it could be the home of the next Neverland..I've seen a huge empty space a' land right there in Anlaby Road that's just callin' out for a fantasy park.. I can see it right now..there'd be a giant bouncy castle shaped like Elton John, made entirely from marshmallow.. a room full of magic mirrors that make everyone look like Liz Taylor..a great big- ( Sound of the door breaking. Two policemen enter bearing handcuffs) 1st Policeman - Michael Jackson, I am arresting you on suspicion of stealing the face of Dame Liza Minnelli, to use in place of your own. Do you have anything to say in your defence? Michael - It wasn't me officer. All I want for the world is to make sweet lurve.. Barry -Hey Michael, don't steal my slogans ! 2nd Policeman - Well I'm afraid we've got hidden CCTV footage that gives undeniable evidence that is was you, Michael. Come along now, you fallen freak, you.. (Clips handcuffs on him). Snoop - Well, that caught the fucked up son of a bitch for good. Oww! Barry - Hey Snoop, you can't steal his catchphrase! Snoop - can now he's gonna be banged up inside. Ee-hee! Barry - Crazy motherfucka. THE END

Reviews, Theatre - UpN'Under Hull Truck Theatre 13th July By Michelle Dee
	A near capacity audience at the Spring Street Theatre attended the twentieth anniversary performance of John Godber's Rugby League comedy on Tuesday evening. A remarkable testament to the extraordinary pulling power and appeal of his work. There was an audible buzz of excitement among the crowd as we sat down to enjoy Read more...

Hull Truck Theatre - presents the 20th anniversary production of.. Up n Under - Written and directed by John Godber Thursday 8th - Saturday 31st July, 8.00pm
	Hull Truck Theatre are celebrating John Godber's 20-year anniversary as Artistic Director by staging his Olivier award-winning play, Up n Under. Godber joined the company in 1984, bringing with him his unique brand of accessible comedy / drama which catapulted Hull Truck Theatre Read more...

The Humber Mouth 2004 - The Blockheads New Writing Festival Hull Truck Tue June 22nd by Lee Cassanell.
	Special Guest Reviewers - Jenna Jameson - Adult movie Starlet, Jesus Christ - The son of God ™ and He-Man - Master of the Universe A pale faced prostitute (Louisa Hutchinson) is torn between a sexually deviant superstore manger (Lee Green) and a Sean Connery impersonating pimp Read more...

Reviews, Theatre - Be My Baby at The Hull Truck Theatre Saturday 12th June By Cilla
	I'm not a regular theatre goer. Not at all. It's like a different world to me. And frankly in the past I'd say that overall I felt disappointment and (perhaps imagined) exclusion from that scene. My sister could appreciate it, enjoy it even but I always thought of myself as not the type to go Read more...

Poetry - Ode to the Mole By Terry Bugbearer
	I have a love I dare not tell For a small burrowing animal It's not a weasel, stoat or vole but the small, industrious mole. He makes hills out of my lawn to his earthy mounds I am always drawn. Read more...

Poetry - The Reading Will Start Shortly By Patrick Henry
	Catching planes briskly as a smart executive Crossing the globe to arms talks or trade tariffs, I land at many ports to collect ripe pub stories, Or to read poems in suspicious small back rooms. Who are these figures in the gloom who cough or clap? Read more...

Humour - Unofficial Quotes - What they might have said.. By Darren Sant

	Well I did shout Duck! - J.F.K's Presidential Bodyguard. I thought it was mayonnaise - Monica Lewinski's Housekeeper. It's a hotbed of lies, intrigue and goat sex - Steve Interesting Davies on his upcoming biography. Read more...

Humour - The Sims By Darren Sant

	For anyone over 40 or those living on Venus there is a computer game phenomenon known as the Sims. In these games, which attempt to simulate real life, you have almost god like control over every aspect of the characters lives. You can design Read more...

Humour - Merchant Bankers By Darren Sant

	Where do I start? I was enjoying a lovely Saturday afternoon snooze, as you do, and the phone started ringing. Having worked in an office for years it is second nature for me to answer a ringing phone. I roused myself from sleep and tiredly picked up the phone. I was greeted by a chirpy chinless wonder who Read more...