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Fiction |
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Last Updated: 04/04/2006 12:38:28
I'm just finishing off at work, watching the clock and loading the pot-wash with plates and cups,
waiting for Sarah to start her shift so I can go home.
It's been a really busy day, so I'll be glad to see the back of the fuckin' place.
I've been working at Sparks cafè bar on Newland Ave for over a year, but it's only been in
the past couple of months it's got really busy.
Fridays are the worst. Packed with suit-wearing tossers who think they can speak to you like shit just because you're serving them food and drinks: "Yeah, I need to be back in the office soon, so make sure you're snappy with my latte, love, ok?" Fuck off - you'll get it when I get the chance to make it, can't you see how busy we are?
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My apron is stained with milk from the cappucinos and sauce from the lasagnes and meatballs and I've picked up that sour beer smell from the glass-wash, so I'm heading straight home for a bath before I even think of doing anything else. My feet hurt like mad, so it feels really good slipping my comfy shoes on.
Eventually, Sarah wanders in - ten minutes late, the fuckin' lazy cow. I wave goodbye to everyone in the kitchen and then I leave. Usually I'd have a quick half at the bar, but not today - today I just want to get out as soon as possible.
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I step out into the sun, which makes me squint, and I get my mobile from my bag and there's a message on it. I check it, and it says: What u up 2 bitch? Ring me. It's from Heather, my best mate. We're supposed to going out tonight, and even though I'm tired and I can't really be arsed, I know I'll end up going anyway.
I get the bus home. It's full of little tossers, shouting and carrying on, and this one kid - who can't be much older than my younger brother - shouts, "Fancy a fuck, darlin'?" and I can't even be bothered to respond.
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We always fuck about for the last hour or so on a Friday, I mean you have to don't yer? I'm still operating the press, putting the sheets of cardboard through, but I'm not sweating for no bastard. Mark, the crazy fucker is full of it already. "You ready for tonight, Deano?" he says, slapping me on the back. "Hey, check this shit out."
He's got a copy of this week's Nuts magazine and he opens it up and shows me a double page spread of this 'real babe' from Manchester. She has long dark hair, and she's bent over a desk wearing this dental-floss thong and she has a fantastic arse.
"I would fuck that until me cock dropped off," I say.
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"Fuckin' tell me about it," he says, grinning. "Are we pickin' some tash like that tonight or what, Deano?"
"You bet we fuckin' are."
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I'm sick of the glue and sawdust smell, and I just want to get out, but we have to wait another half-hour before we can clock off.
I've been working at Pete English's Packaging down Holderness Road for a couple of years now. It's a shit job, but it's a fairly decent wage and there's plenty of overtime, so I put with it. You just gotta make through the week and then cut loose on a weekend. Everyone hates their job here, but it's a good bunch of lads and we all have a laugh.
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Fiction - Off To See The Wild West Show Part 19 (1886: Hull, Yorkshire) By Frank Beill
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Was it my imagination or were dark clouds hanging over the Persian Monarch the next morning?
I feared the worst. Heavy feet climbed the wooden steps to my hero's saloon.
As before Red Shirt, Dog That Stands and Laughing Waters were there in support of my case.
We entered the cabin and my spirits rose. Nate Salsbury wasn't there and Miss Arta was
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Fiction - Complicity Part 6 By Nick Quantrill
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Complicity is the new crime-fiction novella set in Hull featuring
Detective Sergeant Coleman and Detective Constable Maynard.
The thisisull.com serialisation is accompanied by the stunning black and
white photography of Roland Standaert, which illustrates the story and takes a unique look at the city.
Complicity and other stories are available for free.
Read more...
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Fiction - Gloomy Sunday By Joe Hakim
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As we got closer I could see it framed against the horizon. From this distance it just looked like a huge black shape, like a giant lump of coal or something. "Jeezus, it's huge," I said. "Yeah, I'm guessing it's a male," Mike said. "Could be about fifty tonnes of whale washed up down there." Mike was a marine biologist.
He'd been given the task of studying
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Fiction - Kat Out of the Bag Chapter Thirteen By Steve Rudd
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I remembered the ring simply because it wasn't the type of ring that a man would usually
choose to include in his pro-macho jewellery box.
The rare stone at its heart shone like a bewildering beacon demanding attention in the
pits of hell, while its subtly alluring design was elaborately detailed yet delicate.
To all intents and purposes it looked like a lady's bridal ring, and thus the plot thickened.
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Fiction - The M1 McDonalds Girl and the Most Suitable Bloke By Andy Bilton
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So I'm heading home. Heading north. Eighty, on the M1, just south of Sheffield. Pissing it down. That horizontal stuff that totally obscures your view, your only safe option being to get in to the inside lane and follow the red cat's eyes. Not ideal weather conditions for a must-get-there-quicker sort of situation such as this.
I should slow down really but Helen's already been on the mobile
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Fiction - Welcome To Hellville - Part 16 By Rich Mills
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"What music are you into, man?" The American exchange student who had earlier introduced
himself, without any regard for Alan's need to be alone, suddenly threw a curve-ball
of a question like this in his direction.
"Well I listen to..." What followed was a definitive list of bands from Alan's
wide-ranging rare vinyl and CD collection, he even
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Fiction - The Guy Who Had All The Time In The World By Joe Hakim
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Sometimes it gets to be a bit too fuckin' much, I decide, after another day spent wandering the streets aimlessly.
The sky is still bright purple - the colour of a fresh bruise - and the streets are still completely silent; not even the sound of birds chirping or distant traffic in the distance.
Aside from that, everything seems to be much the same, at least on the surface.
There's no visible
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Fiction - The Burden - A Short Story By Joe Hakim
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I step out into the sun and close my eyes, letting the light wash over my face.
It's cold, and the wind pinches my cheeks but I feel complete, for the first time ever.
Today the world is different. Today is the first day of a new beginning.
Everything feels real and vivid, and I bathe in it, taking it all in like a child
seeing a painting for the first time, judging the angles and
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Fiction - Zero and the Neighbours Part 1 - Demo version 0.1 By Joe Hakim
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Frank was one of the regulars. From the first day I started dealing poker on the tables, Frank was there. To look at, he was your typical moody old man - old in the Father Christmas sense - white hair, a huge white beard and a round gut that hung out of his shirt and over his belt. You could imagine him sat in a grotto in the bottom of Princes Quay with some mewling
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Fiction - Just like Eddie by Bob Spence
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I don't know exactly when I got into it but there you are.
Like most lads, I suppose it was the thought of being Bristol's answer to
Elvis that was some kind of inspiration.
Yes that was always there in the back of my mind, but the accent never sounded
quite right to be fair.
Anyway. The South Deans Village Youth Club was a right place back then and we used
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Fiction - The Wall by Darren Sant
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Sometimes your best is just not enough.
Panic stricken and panting I arrive.
There it is, a fucking huge wall. An obstacle blocking my progress.
A visible representation of all that I can't achieve.
Nervously I look behind me. I lash out at it, kicking and punching but to no avail.
It is rock solid. I jump but find it too high. I take a running jump
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Fiction - Divine by Blair Ashworth
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"Mein Führer? Mein Führer?" The old man in the long grey coat was bent over the body slumped in the chair.
"Give it a few more seconds, Henry," said the doctor. "Do you speak any German? It might lessen the shock." No, Henry didn't speak any German and he didn't much care about any shocks he might deliver.
Behind the heavy oak chair,
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Fiction - Scissors, Paper, Stone! By Bob Spence
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The Lord Nelson was your typical run-down seventies pub. The decor was in disarray, with half a mind to venerate the Royal Navy's biggest hero or to catch the eye of the potential clientele with the latest fashion. In this manner it achieved neither.
Mickey was the prototype glass collector for every
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Fiction - Drowning, Swimming By Joe Hakim
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Keith sat and stared at his wife, who was holding his daughter and staring at the
28" Philips Widescreen TV situated in the corner of his house, on his laminate floor,
flanked at either side by his Sony sound system and his X-Box.
He was sweating and his head was throbbing - the general effects of the weekend
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Fiction - Any Instructions? By Denis Price
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It wasn't the first time he'd missed the bus. From the Mess to the monitoring hangar was only a quarter of a mile walk, something he relished during the central European summer as the airbase had been carved out of heavily wooded countryside teeming with wildlife.
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Fiction - Second Chances by Nick Quantrill
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Available now, Second Chances is a crime fiction novella set in Hull that is
already attracting praise from readers.
Influenced by crime fiction heavyweights Ian Rankin and Hull's Robert Edric,
Second Chances is set to be a great success.
For a taster, see the extract reproduced below, only available
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Fiction - Invasion By Bob Spence
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Moody just couldn't stop scratching. His shirt was far too stiff at the edge of the collar
and the coarse material was driving him to distraction.
You could also say that Moody was distracted anyway. He was waiting for a letter from his fiancee
and there was none.
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Fiction - The Death and Birth and Death of a Legend By Bob Spence
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Goober liked to be busy. Some people could handle doing nothing, not Goober Walton.
Running the tidy but ancient gasoline concession suited. Suited well.
It was orderly and everything clearly had its place.
Some would say it looked almost military in its order and for that it
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Fiction - Feller's in Cut By Maurice Fairfield
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Well that's her gone. You don't remember me do you?
I'll have a pint while you're thinking about it.
It's me Jack, Harry Fergus's son. Here for the funeral.
Thought I'd see her get put under. Not sure why.
It's always a laugh though, watching a parson doing a
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Fiction - Firm but Fair By Mark Pollard
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Cry-Baby Jim Breaks. He pioneered it, they say.
And the hushed, almost ecclesiastical tones of Ken Walton had heralded it's
entry into Saturday afternoon folklore: the bright lights of
Blackpool and Great Yarmouth, down to the lesser reputes of Ilfracombe and
Skegness had all borne witness
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Fiction - Puzzles By Denis Price
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I've got a really nice room, when the door's closed I feel ever so safe and warm. It's quiet as well,
just the swish of the wind in the trees outside. I like the trees; they hide the big tall fence.
My watchers say the fence is there to keep me safe, and that's their job too, they're always there
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