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"I'm having some time off," I drawled, "leave me the fuck alone, Craig."
"Haven't you seen the news? Turn the telly on now."
Slowly, I sat up, reached over and flicked the telly on. "What's this about?"
"Put the local news on," he barked.
I flicked through the channels until I found it. "Oh my God," I said, and I dropped the receiver. I moved towards the screen. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The camera pointed towards the foreshore near the Humber Bridge.
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People lined the beach jostling for a view. As the camera panned, the full extent of it was revealed. Laid neatly, as though they'd been deliberately placed by a giant hand, the bodies of hundreds of whales of all different sizes covered the beach. It was spectacularly awful in its scope; the crowd stood open-mouthed, shocked and unable to comprehend what was in front of them, as the reporter's doom-laden voice commented on the tragedy.
I knew then that something terrible was about to happen.
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I'm on the beach now
There's no use in running.
The shape behind me has taken form.
It's a person now
And they're after me
But I'm tired
Tired of running,
So I turn around
And I look
And I see a face
That I haven't seen in years
And the mouth opens
And tells me
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That
It's
Nearly
All
Over...
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I woke up feeling strangely calm. I had got to a point where the dreams didn't scare me anymore. I wanted them now, wanted to exist in them. The waking world was constructed out of pain and suffering. I only felt terrified when I was awake, watching the world slowly crumble - falling away one piece at a time.
As I flicked through the TV channels, I saw all the wars, the famines, the misery; the weather was out of control, due in part to the damage we had caused with our chemicals and waste; people were killing each other for oil and the dogma of the things that they believed in. The human race was not only destroying itself, but the planet it lived on, eating up its own environment like a caterpillar devouring the leaf on which it lives. The horror of it all consumed me.
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And I wasn't alone. The suicide rate in Hull had trebled almost overnight. Fences had to be erected on either side of the Humber Bridge to try and dissuade jumpers, but people found other ways. The council were unable to remove all the dead whales, and every morning fresh piles of clothes were found on the foreshore next to the rotting bodies. Car accidents and murders were also increasing exponentially. There was a real sense of chaos breaking out. Classes and workshops were hastily organised to help people; announcements were made on the television to appeal for calm.
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Opinions - Reply to Michelle Dee's Review of Band Wars at The Polar Bear By Loz Cyclone, The Cyclones
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I had to take umbrage with
Michelle Dee's totally cattish and twisted so-called review of Band Wars.
Admittedly, she* did provide the highlight of the evening by remonstrating with one of
the judges about the unfairness of the decision to give Conscience the grand in cash.
The watching Cyclones laughed at the hystericalness of it all.
Now to a few facts. The Cyclones, who
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Opinions - Reply to Michelle Dee's Review of Band Wars at The Polar Bear By Sue Watson
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I have just read
Michelle Dee's review of the Band Wars final at the
Polar Bear and I am outraged and horrified that you have allowed her
to write what she did.
Not only has she slandered the landlady of the Polar Bear, but also myself,
as I was one of the judges that night and can assure you, I know enough about music to
warrant my place as a judge.
Not only have I been
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Opinions - Response To Anthony Newlyne's Article By Steven Greendale
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Commenting on the article by Anthony Newlyne taking a poke at Ian Newton for his
new book The Night Shift, and saying because it is six episodes of a sitcom,
'it is cheating to publish it.' :
What a load of rubbish. Ian Newton is one of the best local writers Hull has
produced for years, and a real character.
We must all remember his antics some time ago now when he
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Opinions - Hull Writer Ian Newton is Cheating By Anthony Newlyne
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Ian Newton the writer had just produced his third book.
The book is six episodes of a sitcom and called The Night Shift.
THIS IS CHEATING!!
Obviously Ian Newton cannot get his sitcom on telly so someone has published it for him.
I bought a copy of the book, and all I can say if that is the standard of
comedy writing turned down by TV companies, then I have no chance,
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Opinions - Rise of the Madmen By Lee Cassanell
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I'm driven with a mission from God.
God would tell me, George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan. And I did, and then God would tell me, George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq... And I did.
And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me: go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East. And by God I'm gonna do it.
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Opinions - Mark Pollard's Response to a Couple of Hull's Blinkered Critics
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Well, Channel 4's rubbish programme the other week (I can't even be arsed to mention it's name any more) certainly resulted in the odd fucknut blowing the cobwebs from their PC keyboard and jumping onto that bitter little bandwagon, didn't it?
You want to know what's the worst thing about Hull? It's that, like any other city, it has it's fair share of these types -
the sort of
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Opinions - MP Diana Johnson Uninspired by Hull By David Sloan
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Hull MP Diana Johnson thinks prisoners should be allowed to vote. If she went on the streets of Hull and asked the people what they thought I'm sure she would get a very different answer.
She was inspired, she says by a former inmate John Hirst, who served a life sentence for manslaughter.
He mounted a legal challenge saying depriving him of his vote was against his human rights.
He is now free,
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Opinions - Christmas Shopping Opportunity By Mr. A.N. Gry
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Well Christmas will soon be upon us and everyone is busy getting their Christmas shopping lists ready of what to get their kids or even themselves, but unfortunately at some other poor bugger's expense!
Yes, the Christmas bookings for stereos and PCs and play stations etc., etc, etc. are being
taken and the opportunists are a knocking at our backdoors and windows
(good job we have 3 monsters
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Opinions - Amused or not, a muse on Yo-Yo By Michelle Dee
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Whilst all you scenesters were at Leeds watching the likes of The Killers, The Pixies and
The Paddingtons...
life continued back home. Welly on Saturday was a little emptier than previous weeks, but that just
meant there was more room to move and it wasn't quite so hot.
DJ Priya had a difficult job tonight due to the lack of so many regulars
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Opinions - Did Hitler See the Good in Hull ? by David Sloan
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Hull has been voted Worst City in the UK to live, on a recent Channel 4 TV programme.
This of course was not always the case. Before the war Hull was a prosperous important sea port.
Unfortunately the last politician to recognise this was Adolf Hitler.
The Germans saw Hull as a major port and manufacturing centre.
That's why Hull was the second
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Opinions - Bringing Me Down By Steve Stewart
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Why do others bring people down all the time? Can people not leave other people alone, or is it because some of us want to get on with our lives but others won't let us?
I wrote this and would like to share it with you who read it. At the moment I am feeling that it's never going to end. Maybe, hopefully this may help some of
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Opinions - Reply to Tom Hawcroft By Lee Cassanell
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Well, you rattle a cage and you get a response.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart Mr Hawcroft for taking the time and
effort to respond.
War is indeed Hell (Yes I've seen Platoon) but when someone throws a
grenade into your Garden Party I think it's only fair to throw it back
so I will indeed respond to your response in the vain hope that you
tear yourself away from your moral
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Opinions - Letter to Tom Hawcroft From Maurice Fairfield
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Dear Tom Hawcroft,
I only know Lee Cassanell as an able though inferior versifier publishing in these
pages (although he did call me a genius recently).
Reading his vitriolic piece on the old place, I was a bit surprised by
the entertaining venom until I got myself back in the Hull mindset which
I remember well as generally being expressed in the form of open derision
for most things and
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Opinions - Regarding Tom Hawcroft's Retort to Lee Cassanell's Hull By Mark Pollard
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I'm not absolutely certain about this, but I think Tom might have been hoodwinked by a
piece of ever-so-clever, post-industrial, post-modern, post-comedy, post-post-whatever,
irony schmirony by Master Cassanell. Sorry - I'm being ironic myself now. Or am I?
Lee - I think you need to come clean about your motivations here; something that
may require a
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Opinions - Retort to Lee Cassanell's Hull By Tom Hawcroft
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Lee Cassanell, when you were drafting out your masterpiece entitled simply; Hull (brilliant, just brilliant),
what were you hoping to achieve?
If it was to undermine and belittle the hardworking and conscientious people in this city (of
which there are many), via the use of a series of independent non-factual rants then you may have succeeded.
I understand this is the opinions
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