ICU@ABC by Rich Mills

During those pre-teen days of dramatic sexual awakenings, Roy always strived and usually achieved, a brief respite of self-indulgent escapism. By scraping together un-spent bus fares and school dinner money he'd often have enough to visit the local cinema most weeks. His lone place of escape, he much preferred going to see movies that had a low audience turn-out. Not that he just wanted to watch long boring art-house shite, he just wanted to experience the flickering images with as little disturbance as possible from the world of others. The less people in the cinema auditorium the better, the ideal being an empty auditorium so that he could choose to sit wherever he wanted. Roy achieved his lone goal one day by taking a day out of school. He justified it to himself, as not bunking-off, but as a self-taught lesson in cinematic culture. This was a big deal to the nervous youth, as the fear of getting caught out of school was more than his life was worth. His mother would be disappointed. Even the thought of the possible punishment that would be exacted by his parents if they found out, was more than his paranoid mind could bear. Stood outside the Aging Bug-house Cinema near to the dilapidated city centre bus station, Roy checked all around for any familiar watching eyes. Just because he was paranoid didn't mean it couldn't be true, so best to check as you never know he thought. A showing had just ended as a half dozen customers staggered out of the dark cinema foyer, each squinting at the dazzling daylight. While being blinded by the light, no one had noticed Roy slip swiftly and silently inside and sidle up to the ticket booth. Except the butterflies that fluttered around inside his stomach, this was a stealthy manoeuvre. "One for Blade Runner please," he thrust forward a handful of silver shrapnel. "How old are you?" That dreaded question for all underage lawbreakers. "Fourteen!" The correct password he hoped. That was the required age of any double 'A' rated film back in the 80's. The good old days of U, A, AA, X… None of this sensible U, PG, 12, 15, 18… After all there is something daring and mystical about an X rated movie that an 18 rated movie just hasn't got. "That'll be two-sixty then please young man." That should have been 'young boy', as at only eleven years old Roy considered he looked his age, if not younger than his years. This had always been a disadvantage as a youth, something that has served him better into adulthood, however on this particular day fate was definitely working in his favour. Or the woman had taken pity on the dishevelled youth that presented himself to her. He paid his entrance fee, snatched his ticket and hurried across the foyer before his heart burst out of his chest and confessed the truth he was so determined to hide. Ticket thrust in the attendant's hand without breaking his stride. Through the double doors Roy's fear shifted so severely that it made his stomach flip, leaving the butterflies to flap in a helpless death throw as a torturous sea of gastric juices swallowed them up. He loved coming to the cinema above all other things in his life, but hated walking down this corridor alone, which he invariably was. Dimly up-lit shadows reached out towards the adrenaline pumped child, walk, skip, trot, run past the all-enveloping shadowy cloaks. The eyes of the movie poster monsters blinked at the sight of the fleeing figure in the dusky darkness. Not even a not so cute alien, an Indian peace-maker or ludicrous transvestite made Roy feel at ease in this dark stretch between him and the escape hatch at the end. Lost in dim light a costumed colossal hero of men stood as protector of peeling posters long after he'd been removed from the screen. Of no more use than a long past paternal poster purchase to Roy. He thought of his bedroom wall briefly. BANG! The auditorium doors gave easily against the onslaught of the speeding child. He pulled up short in fear of the embarrassment, such an attention grabbing entrance could cause him. No one noticed, as there was no one there, the whole place was empty. The whole vast auditorium belonged to Roy, at last a dream come true. He made a pretence of scanning the seating for the best viewing position. Roy knew the best viewing position, it had become almost instinctual in him. In a cinema auditorium he seemed to have a natural knack of choosing the best place to sit, without really even thinking about it. Just two rows above the mid-way point of the auditorium, in one of the isle seats if the isle ran up the middle that was. Or failing that two seats either side of the centre seat in the middle of the middle row, if the cinema is one that had two isles running parallel to each up either side of the seating. He never sat right in the dead centre, it felt aesthetically wrong some how. The perfect balance of the centre was an uncomfortable place to be, left or right or up or down of the centre that gave a better viewing position. His very regular attendance at the cinema had nurtured this knowledge in him. continued below..

Collage courtesy of Rich.

ICU@ABC continued by Rich Mills

Sitting comfortably the film was about to begin. Five moments languidly slipped by as a mindless voice sang a saccharin song, piped from the projectionist's perch. The auditorium became vast and silent, darkness followed by a soft swish of silent velvet. Roy settled to watch the entertainment through and through, soundtrack synchronised with iridescent image, the movie had begun. Finally this was to be it, Roy was to see Dick's dream of mythical creatures brought to life in a furious synthetic future. The darkness never lifted, for over two hours the cloud of nihilistic rain hung over the auditorium, all outside memories washed away from Roy, lost in compressed film time, tears reigned over his face. Metaphor and symbolism rained down on the young impressionable mind, developing the cybernetic base for his formative years. A build-up of feelings denied to those celluloid fragments he felt empathy for welled up and flooded down the impressionable features. From that cinematic moment, he craved the world he had witnessed in the screen. No matter how depressing, no matter how dark, it was where he wanted to be. He wanted the darkness outside to match the darkness inside, never again to have to emerge into the blinding light that always broke the spell. He simply wanted to be in that world, to be part of it, to own it and for it to own him at any cost. These images chemically fixed onto a celluloid strip became his dystopian dream. However this raised a dilemma in his young mind, one which he would only come to terms with much latter in life. The future he wished for was the same future he'd hate to impose on anyone else. His dream was the waking nightmare of others, how could he even think about wanting to inflict such misery on those he cared for. He tried to push the selfish thoughts away and try to forget his dream, not pursuing the unobtainable as it was pointless to do so, is what became his false belief. The deepest cut did not come from the trampling hooves of the mythical horned creature, as it wasn't even there yet. That was to cut-deep some years later. It was that first contact had set firm his allegiances to the cult which it was to become. A half-hearted voice had spoken to him at the beginning, but it in the end it was a synthetic sigh and dream of escape that captured him more. Reminded of motion pictures, egos react. Salacious torment obfuscates many peoples enduring resolve. Full knowledge that their minds pervert the narrative to suit their own phoney Freudian ends, brings movie watchers into conflict, when dissecting and disseminating the idea behind a movie. Blade Runner was Roy's movie, he felt he had an ownership of it to some extent, or at least a very close bond with it. A seminal moment in a child's life, that lasted more than the two hours or so that he had sat alone in the cinema. This memory would not be lost in time, like tears in rain. ©  Rich Mills - August 2003

Aircraft and Airshows - Philately - Concorde Stamps By Tony

I'm a philatelist. In these modern times, that's like being a ballroom dancer on a skateboard ramp, a bit embarrassing. Over the years I've been a collector of aircraft stamps and have now around 4,000 stamps dating from 1922 to the present day. I've selected some of the stamps featuring Concorde to show the wide range of countries who felt the need to show this fantastic aircraft. Read more...

Aircraft and Airshows - Concorde by Tony

On Friday 24th October 2003 the last fight of Concorde by British Airways as a fare paying passenger aircraft took place. If you have flown on Concorde or have seen it in flight, you can understand what a great loss this will be to the nation. The aircraft, first airborne in 1969, was and is still out in front in design and technical innovation.    Read more...

Aircraft and Airshows - The Magic of Concorde By Mike

People in London never tired of it. Men and women always stopped working and children stopped playing. They used to look up and point "Concorde!" they marvelled. They didn't ever Read more...

Coffee Shops Reviews - Wired Cyber Café and Network Gaming Centre, Cottingham Road, Hull By Starpaw.

	The world is turning digital, it's true. WAP mobile phones, digital televisions and palmtops, the works. Computers are here to stay and the net is playing an even larger role in our everyday lives. Once the domain of geeks and computer fanatic's, cyber space Read more...