The M1 McDonalds Girl and the Most Suitable Bloke (5/7) By Andy Bilton

(1/7), (2/7), (3/7), (4/7), (5/7), (6/7), (7/7),

"Sorry," she says, "I'm Natasha." "Fucking beautiful name," I say unable to control the verbal ejaculation of my instant thought. "Yes I like it too," she says, "but maybe not that much." And we both laugh together. "I'm Paul," I say. "Nice to meet you Paul." "And you Natasha."

"So where are you coming from?" asks Natasha. "Just on my way back from a seven day job in London," I say. "What is it you do?" "I am an accountant," I say, "I work for a firm that's based in Hull but we have offices all over the country and I have to do the national accounts which means I'm on the road a lot." "Hmm," she says. "I know, fucking boring," I say with a slight chuckle, "you don't need to tell me. What do you do?"

"Monday to Friday I'm a nanny," she replies, "but this weekend I've been fox hunt sabotaging in Bedfordshire." "Wow!" I exclaim. She wrinkles her eyebrows at me. "Sorry," I say, "I just meant...well...oh I don't know what I meant." "It's okay," she says, "I know it's not your average run-of-the-mill weekend pursuit."

I think of the weekends that I spend at home with Helen, car cleaning, B&Q shopping, day trips to Bridlington, and I sigh.

"No," I say "but I thought they'd banned hunting?" She wrinkles her eyebrows again, looking puzzled. Like she's wondering if I really am suitable after all and I start to panic. "They have," she says "but it still goes on, they're just sneaky about it." She takes another drag of her cigarette then blows it out, upwards into the cold air of the restaurant, then takes another look at the clock on the wall behind her and I realise I'm boring her.

And I start to get a heavy, heavy sinking feeling in my whole body, like I'm doped up on morphine or something and can't do or say a thing and I want to, need to do something now because if I don't say something quick, don't act soon, she'll get up and walk out on me and I'll never see her again and I'll be left here alone in this restaurant and I'll eventually get up myself and drive home...home to Helen and...

Continued...Next Page (6/7)

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