The M1 McDonalds Girl and the Most Suitable Bloke (3/7) By Andy Bilton

(1/7), (2/7), (3/7), (4/7), (5/7), (6/7), (7/7),

I'm still smiling when I turn around to go for a seat and I notice the girl sitting in the corner again and she's smiling at me for some reason, and for a second it doesn't really matter why she's smiling. It's just a smile, it makes me feel somehow warm inside, and for some reason I nod to her like I'm acknowledging an old friend from across the street and I take a seat a couple of tables away from her but facing her. I unwrap my cheeseburger and remove the gherkins before taking a bite from it, then I go to take a sip from my coffee but of course it's too hot so I give it a blow and look up at the girl through the rising steam.

She's not looking at me now, she's looking at some poster on the side wall that's advertising the Happy Meal toys from the latest Disney movie. Her profile has beauty. Even from this distance I can tell. She has a fine complexion, no spots or blemishes tarnish her face. Though I'm no good with ages it is obvious she is younger than me but not by a lot, she's maybe twenty five, twenty six. She wears a nose stud. Silver. A precious metal deemed only suitable for such humble purposes as photo frames or best cutlery in our household, and yet on this girl it seems to be so luxurious, so elegant and exotic. Her dark hair hangs down in hundreds of finely dread-locked strands and in the length of one she wears rainbow coloured beads.

I can't stop looking at her.

Eventually she takes a sip from her cup and notices me watching her, and again she smiles at me and this time I feel more than warmth inside, I feel hot, the blood rushing to my face, making me blush. I look down at my coffee which I can see is still too hot to drink, so I have another bite of the cheeseburger and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and get sauce on it and that bitch Stacey three stars didn't give me a napkin. So I have to wipe it off on the wrapper from the cheeseburger which is not a suitable material for the job, and when I've finished cleaning myself up I look up and the girl's still smiling at me and I notice her eyes are an intense yet unobtrusive emerald that compel me to stare.

I'm still staring when the girl gets up and I sigh and look at my coffee, expecting her to leave but she comes over to me instead and says, "Excuse me, is this seat taken?" gesturing to the seat opposite with her Styrofoam cup. "Be my guest," I reply. She bends to sit and as she does, the leather hoop that hangs from her neck and is threaded with more of the rainbow coloured beads, swings forwards and draws my attention to her cleavage which is deep and flawless.

I can't help but follow the curve of her right breast which sinks beneath the loose black top she is wearing. She wears no bra and I catch a glimpse of brown before she takes her seat and I am instantly hard.

Continued...Next Page (4/7)

Reviews, Theatre - Friday 17th February - The Hull Blokes Present Love - A Night Of Comedy, Drama And Passion at Northern Theatre By Jane Foster
	The Hull Blokes are a talented bunch of 13 local, er, blokes! who I have had the pleasure of seeing twice before in their relatively short life. So I thought it was high time to do them justice and write a review. The Blokes have been lucky enough to secure themselves a home in the new Northern Theatre building, which in my opinion is more welcoming and Read more...

Reviews, Books - The Loop by Nicholas Evans Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	This is the second breathtaking novel from Nicholas, the first having being the international best-selling weepy, The Horse Whisperer which shot the English-based writer to fame. The Loop has nothing to do with horses whatsoever, and instead focuses on the trials of a wild pack of wolves that is terrorising a farming community in Montana. A 29-year old wolf expert called Helen is Read more...

Reviews, Books - Rising To Obscurity and How To Remain Anonymous by AAA Aarbon (Bitterne Books) Reviewed By Nick Quantrill
	Published by Hull-based Bitterne Books, the first two titles in this humorous series offer a different take on the modern world that we live in. Part satire, part social comment, they follow the story of AAA Aarbon, a self-confessed seeker of anonymity. AAA Aarbon is described by his editor as being best forgotten for many reasons. Rising To Obscurity charts the absurd Read more...

Reviews, Books - Notes From a Small Island By Bill Bryson Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	Good old Bill is a natural comedian and never holds back when it comes to being honest. He's one of the world's best-loved and most famous travel writers, and this volume of 'notes' is exclusively concerned with a number of weeks that Bill spent investing in the art of travelling around Britain back in the mid 90's. His travel writing talents first came to prominence when he released Read more...

Reviews, Books - Flashback By Jenny Siler Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	The past is a puzzle for everyone, a tattered collection of memory and desire. Even those people we most long to understand remain no more than a sum of those static moments we've chosen to hold them in. This is a must-read novel for any discerning fan of high-octane, Steve Hamilton-esque thrillers, as the drama-drenched action flits the length and breadth of the Read more...

Reviews, Books - Book Recommendations by Steve Rudd
	Here are some short and sweet book recommendations in place of the usual fully-fledged reviews, quite simply because I haven't had time to write up these reviews in more detail. The fact is that there are too many great books, and far too little time to read them - let alone write about them in gushing retrospect. Anyway, here's some mention of some of the books I've recently been Read more...

Reviews, Films - Films Kong By Michelle Dee
	Visually stunning. Terrific pace. Jackson winds up the tension to breaking point and never lets you go till the final frame. This is what you would expect from a Christmas Blockbuster, but this reworking of the original King Kong film, has so much more than the usual thrills and spills. Naomi Watts is very striking to say the least and the ill-fated love Read more...

Reviews, Books - Complicity by Nick Quantrill Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	The rain refused to ease as Coleman made his way through Queens Gardens and on towards King Edward Street. He pulled his collar up and hurried his pace... This is a staggeringly enthralling showcase for Hull-based writer Nick Quantrill's unmistakable talent for writing fiction - and crime fiction, to be more precise. He has written a fair few short stories that revolve around crime Read more...

Reviews, Books - Ian Newton - The Night Shift Reviewed By Kevin Maguire
	The guy in a sharp business suit glowered as if I was mad for laughing out loud while waiting for a flight in Washington Dulles International Airport. No exhibitionist, I rarely laugh out loud. Indeed, I rarely read anything worth laughing about, let alone out loud. But the story about two on-the-run robbers holding a group of Hull factory workers hostage after a fish Read more...

Reviews, Books - East Of The Mountains By David Guterson Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	Alright, so you might not have heard of the author before, but you might actually be already familiar with some of his 'work,' as his debut novel was called Snow Falling On Cedars... a staggering bestseller that came to be made into a Hollywood movie starring Ethan Hawke. Such a debut made it apparent that Guterson is one hell of a story teller who goes to great Read more...

Reviews, Books - Scott Phillips - The Walkaway Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	It is imperative that you keep your wits about when reading this novel more than with almost any other mighty slab of fiction ever published. If you've never read Phillips' awesome debut novel The Ice Harvest, then there's actually little point whatsoever you even making a beeline for The Walkaway, for this mesmerisingly cool epic crime-drama is the incredible Read more...

Reviews, Books - Robert Adams - Antman (Bitterne Books) Reviewed By Nick Quantrill
	Antman is the latest crime novel from prolific Hull-based author Robert Adams. It is his interest in ant behaviour that forms the heart of this book, and one that allows him to craft a dark narrative that absorbs and terrifies in equal measure. The novel starts with the discovery of a dead pig at a remote location in the Hull area. Forensic investigation reveals that the animal was reduced Read more...

Reviews, Books - The Two-Bear Mambo By Joe R. Lansdale Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	Lansdale certainly is one hell of a prolific author, and this is something like the tenth novel of his that I have had the pleasure of reading. The vast majority of his novels follow two buddies, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine, as they manage - without fail - to get into all kinds of violent predicaments through being often overly stubborn and too-proud-by-half men. Read more...

Reviews, Books - Wobegon Boy by Garrison Keillor Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	I have a responsible job and pay my taxes and keep my lawn mowed, but because I dare to be an individual, people whisper about me behind my back. Why is life like this? This epic novel is an absolute masterpiece that is drama-driven and hugely poignant, as it follows a man called John Tollefson as he bumbles through his life over a pronounced period of time, with the Read more...

Reviews, Books - Down By The River Where The Dead Men Go by George P. Pelecanos Reviewed by Steve Rudd
	As the novel title must suggest, this is a crime thriller... and one of the highest order. I first heard of the author in Pelecanos through him heaping praise on the 'action-thriller' writing of Steve Hamilton. Like with Hamilton's work, Pelecanos weaves an engrossing story around a series of hugely believable and genuinely exciting set-pieces. Interestingly, many authors Read more...