The Emporium of Illusions (4/8) By Andy Bilton

(1/8), (2/8), (3/8), (4/8), (5/8), (6/8), (7/8), (8/8).

I can't help but feel a little disappointed at this. I am of the opinion that it is one of the worst things in the world to be drunk or even just attempting to get drunk when your company is stone cold sober. Despite her faults, Helen could keep up, and often outpace me where alcohol consumption was concerned and until I was drinking most every night, she would always join me for a tipple. This feeling of disappointment obviously affects the way I interact with Michelle for I find myself reluctant to say anything to her. It's like she has just informed me that she is Swahili and speaks a different language and I feel that anything I say to her might translate as some terrible insult in the Swahili tongue.

She also seems hesitant to converse, seeming more interested in the goings on at the next table where a large group of mixed couples are laughing and joking and eating and talking, so when Mario brings her tonic I ask for another Peroni.

Eventually, when I'm halfway through the second beer and Mario has brought the starters, I ask her how long she's worked at Binnington's. "Oh a couple of months," she says. "What's it like?" I ask her. "What?" she says, a little sharply I feel. "Working in the Emporium of Illusions," I say dramatically. "Crap," she says.

The word hits me, almost stings me, like a crack from a whip and I jolt back in my chair and cough on my piece of garlic bread and I have to take a long gulp of beer. Yet she is unfazed, carries on nibbling at her Caesar salad, her lips hardly parting to let the morsels of lettuce and croutons slip in and I wonder how such a dainty orifice could have uttered such a gross remark.

"How do you mean?" I say. "It's boring." "Boring?" "Yeah, standing around all day it kills me feet and the boss won't let you sit down on the job." "Didn't know you had a boss," I say. "Yeah Neil, he's a pain in the arse really, he was in Wednesday when you came in to ask me out."

"Oh," I say but I cannot remember anyone else being in the shop when I asked her out. No customers and definitely no boss and the fact that I didn't notice him bothers me as one is bothered by a nightmare half remembered when awaken. "He dunt do knack all in the shop you know," she continues, "just writes them naff looking cards for the window display."

Continued...Next Page (5/8)

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