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Columns
Look After the Pennies and the Self-Serving Will Look After Themselves (2/4)
by The Silver Fox
(1/4), (2/4), (3/4), (4/4).

It is not inconceivable, for example, that the publishers of tabloid newspapers may expend some little thought upon the matter of their sales figures. "Are we," they will ask themselves, "really appealing to our target market? Sure, the Tringo Bingo promotion hooks into the innate credulity and greed of our readers; likewise, reprinting that photo of Myleene Klass showering in her white bikini speaks to their cultural side.

Is it really enough, though? Couldn't we do more to appease their craving for crass, reactionary horse-shit? The proles eat that up with a fucking spoon, after all..."
Consequent to such speculations, can an editorial decision to dust off the old chestnut about some local council funding a women-only bus stop be entirely ingenuous?
Similarly, it would be naïve to assume that an opposition party would find it unsporting to quibble with one or two governmental moves - although to what extent they would stretch that, we may never know.

I suspect, mind you, that if any government announced that they had funded research that had resulted in the development of a tablet that cured AIDS, shadow-spokesmen of all hues would be scrambling around for a populist way of expressing the sentiment, "what are you pissing money away on that for? Let the streets be strewn knee-deep with the rotten bodies of benders! What about the kids, eh?"
Having said this, it is not surprising that a couple of projected items of government spending have caused some controversy; the possibility of them helping underwrite the troubled Northern Rock Bank, and the granting of a 25% Council Tax rebate to armed forces personnel serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Clearly, a lot of the criticisms can be written off fairly briskly as knee-jerk carping; a natural reaction from people trained by an inherently adversarial system to disagree any government initiative with as much vehemence and specious self-promotion.
Predictably, the most often-heard question has been, "who's going to pay for it all, eh? Tell us that - Mr Big Balls" (I paraphrase a little). I think it's fair to say that this question can be discounted from the get go, as the answer is as obvious to us as it is to the public-spirited politicians that pose it, viz - the same hapless cunts that paid for all your equally hare-brained/noble-but-flawed/downright cruel and bestial schemes when you were - or will be - running the show.

Continued ......next page (3/4)

Columns - Oh My God - They Killed Kenny - You Hirsute, Scottish Bastard! By The Silver Fox
Against every humanitarian plea, against every civilised instinct, against reason and sense themselves, they did it. Ken Bigley is dead; a victim of a struggle about which he (like many of us) neither wished to participate in nor particularly understood. His headless corpse Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Final Edition
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
As me 'n brother made way to ye olde town for weekend spree, we circumnavigated giant telly yon Victoria square. Now thee been told that giant telly cost a pretty packet and sum of English pounds. On slight sight of surrounding acres there was but one weather-beaten Read more...

Columns - Here I Go Again, On The Moan
By The Silver Fox
Crikey, www.catsandkittens ; been a while, hasn't it? How things seem to have changed since last we got together. I love what some of you have done with your hair, I must say, and how long has that been there? No, no - it's nice, it really is ... you just don't see many of them these days, that's Read more...

Columns - Eel Llenassac presents Smokers Corner
I somehow found my way to the bedroom last night where I was blessed with the presence of the Sliver Fox, The Manchurian Candidate, Cowfish and Shindig (including their every reliable roadie, Stevo Ravishing Rick Wraggs. I had a nice good old-fashioned drunken Read more...

Columns - Something Hot in a Cold Country - Part 2
By Jane Foster
In my role at thisisUll.com I seem to have taken it upon myself to be the reporter, nay, the spread-the-worder - of all things multicultural in the tiny crack of the universe that is 'ull. In using the word crack please Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull
I wonder how Humberside police chief David Westwood is frittering away his time as he waits and waits to learn his fate after being suspended from duty pending the result of an inquiry. I rather hope that he might use this enforced rest period to take up a hobby which he once used to practise with some enthusiasm. Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Four
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
How do kinsman and other lesser bein's (am only jestin' ya). August 1st on Sabbath was national Yorkshire day, by glad to say that thee rejoiced without limitations. In one day thee crossed the boundaries of North, West and Eastern Yorkshire, walked the moors, a pint a' Theakstons and consumed a well cooked piece a' rump. Read more...

Columns - Something Hot in a Cold Country - Part 1
By Jane Foster
Well several hot spicy items have caught my attention these last few weeks. First of all I hear that the great Imran Khan has divorced his wife Jemima. Well let's face it, a name like Jemima is unforgivable at the best of times...to me it will always be associated with a rather passive, second rate Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Three
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
Behold ye listeners of the righteous truth, for day has passed to night and yester folly has turned to moro's squander. If rantin's of a non-commissioned exaggerator is what thou be wantin', then thou has arrived tat right place, the lonely tavern. Sanctuary, for all those of common purpose who refuse the outside Read more...

Columns - I'd Like To Teach The World to Shut The Fuck Up
By The Silver Fox
What with Wimbledon, Euro 2004, Hell's Kitchen, Big Brother 5, and the recent healing of the lesbian storyline on Emmerdale Farm, some of you may have noticed that actual news has been a bit thin on the ground lately. Oh, I'll admit that things have happened - it's not like the international movers and Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Two
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
Yet again tis what the government gave me, two score an eight hours of rest and unbridled caperings. Thou find thee and company in the homely ambience of the lonely tavern. Three men of little wit but a wisdom born of hard adventurin'. Our chatterins aim not to preach but to teach. Read more...

Columns - Poor Little Reich Kids By Silver Fox
Much as it pains me to say it, this week has found me thinking that we may - as right-thinking people (and if you're not a right-thinking person, what the hell are you doing hanging around my information super-lay-by? Piss off over to www.you'vebeenstillborn.net where the likes of you are better Read more...

Columns - Ronald Reagan - An Apology By Silver Fox
Let's not beat around the bush, www.catsandkittens; last week, some harsh words were said. I - in an unprecedented and regrettable lapse - allowed my integrity and even-handed, dispassionate analysis of Things As They Are to become compromised by personal opinion: there, I've said it. I admit fully that Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition One By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
Recently in the hallowed pages of thisisull.com a new columnist has sprung up, filling our heads with home-grown opinions. This master of the pen is none other than the Silverfox, a man I have many a doings with in CrackTown. Now much as I respect the genius and Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull
There is panic throughout most of the state and voluntary-aided schools in Hull because so many pupils are simply out of control. A new report and survey chronicles the terrible situation in classrooms across this city. I'm sorry to say it is a picture which does not hold out a great deal of Read more...

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