Look After the Pennies and the Self-Serving Will Look After Themselves (1/4) by The Silver Fox

(1/4), (2/4), (3/4), (4/4).

The disbursement of public monies to various groups has always been a hot topic, being, as it is, one that affects pretty much everyone in one way or another. Public money is, of course, literally that - our money; the pounds and pence we fling at the government with desperate and reckless abandon, so humbly delighted and grateful are we to make a contribution to the upkeep of the McUnited Kingdom. It is understandable then, that our concern for where the cash goes should be shared by the great and the good who exist solely to champion our best interests and our heartfelt desires (I'm sorry? Did I say something funny, you there at the back?).

Thus, the opposition, the media, and City analysts monitor government spending very closely - vigilantly and impartially, and without any motive other than the protection of the public (I'm not warning you again...). Rightly so, of course: those in power should always be reminded (and none too gently) that the immense revenue brought in by taxes - invisible, visible, and metaphysical, for all I know - is not their own personal piggy-bank, on hand for little emergencies like a new suit for Conference, or the discreet disposal of a prostitute's corpse; rather, it should (like Robocop) serve the public trust.

Misappropriation of funds is something to be guarded against at all times, and those found guilty of this offence against one of the most basic tenets of democracy should be reviled, pilloried, and condemned to the fullest extent of existing codes and practices.

This may sound harsh, but we must be firm on these white-collar brigands - even if that means the Chairperson of a well-paid quango telling them very firmly not to do it again - ever. And anyway - it's always pretty satisfying when some cunt's caught with their dick in the jam-jar, ain't it? These issues aside, however, it must be conceded that occasionally - just once in a blue-moon-you-left-me-standing-alone-without-a-dream-in-my-heart-without-a-love-of-my-own* - the self-appointed watchdogs of the public purse may stray from the laudable path of objectivity, and allow their cooler judgement to be swayed by a personal agenda.

*And furthermore: ba-bababa-b'dang-ba-dang-dang-ba-bababa-b'dang-da-dong-dang, Blue Moon

Continued ......next page (2/4)

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