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Steve Regan, King of Hull - He's Far From Dead 7th March 2006 contd
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P.S. I see that my columns on this website have been getting some response ... which is nice.
Well, perhaps nice is the wrong word to describe the diatribe against my
royal personage by Joe Hakim, who things I am a 'middle-class suburb-dwelling idiot'.
I will decline his offer to buy me a drink and arrange for me to have my head kicked in.
I think you'll find I can take care of myself, Joe.
On the tough council estate where I grew up I was trained to eat rusty nails,
vomit them up, then eat the vomit. That's how hard I am.
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I'm puzzled by the 'middle class' taunt. Middle class, moi?
When push comes to shove in the class struggle I know which side I am on, believe me.
I was born of the Working Class Blood Royale.
The rest of Joe's insults were too nasty and personal to discuss here but
I must say his passionate dislike of me suggests a dangerous imbalance of emotions.
If he can be so upset by mere words, think what would happen if something more
concrete were to upset him. I think he has serial killer potential.
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As for his assertion that the King of Hull is dead. I don't think so.
My voice thunders out from the uppermost struts of the Humber Bridge regularly.
It whistles around the top of the Wilberforce Monument and the trident points of
the statue of Maritime Prowess on the Guildhall.
I am not going to stop writing what I truly feel, however many nasty
brickbats come my way. Freedom sings too strongly in my heart for me
to allow myself to be censored.
Mark Pollard, another of my critics, identifies himself with leftward-leaning,
liberal folk, who mistakenly think they speak for Hull.
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There was nothing particularly unfair or coarse about Mark's comments
(unlike Joe's) about my consistently expressed support from our brave
soldiers who are trying to bring peace and freedom to Iraq.
But he did, by his assertion that thisisull should 'get rid' of me,
prove the paradoxical truth that behind every modern liberal lurks a
crypto-fascist who wants to trample over people's freedoms and
proscribe any expression of thought that doesn't conform to the
standard left-liberal agenda.
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Still, nice to hear from you, lads.
And I must say you displayed such a strong dislike of my writing that
I suspect you are using made-up names and are really fronting for
the editor of the Dull Daily Mail.
You have only to read the Hull Daily Fail nowadays to realise that the editor,
John 'The Meekon' Meehan, wouldn't know a good columnist if one came
up and bit him on the arse.
It is generally agreed that the paper has become SO boring since the editor,
foolishly refused my kind offer of keeping my column going.
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I'm informed The Meekon has since been advised by many people in
the city to bring back my column - 'the Hull Daily Mail just isn't the
Hull Daily Mail without Steve Regan' is a popular and heartfelt refrain
- but personal pride prevents him from restoring the most talked about
literary phenomenon to hit Hull in decades. But back to the matter in hand.
It was also good to read the comments from Kay, on thisisull, who in a
neutral sort of way, wrote in my defence.
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As she rightly pointed out to Joe: 'If you're not interested in, or have a
particular dislike for a person(s) or their writing style - just don't read them.
Scroll past, go on to the next, or simply don't click on it to begin with you dumb t***.'
For most people in Hull, however, I am vain enough to suspect that the King of
Hull remains essential reading. I am grateful to this website, and to others,
and to the Methodist Recorder, plus several regional papers around England,
for continuing to give me space for my columns.
Till next time, your faithful King signs off.
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Hi fans!
As people with a conscience, I'm sure we can all empathise with the stigma
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Take agoraphobia, for example. Just imagine - trapped indoors for months
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Columns - Stephen Regan the Exiled King of Hull, August 2005.
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Just recently I went off to spend a couple of days in the great city of fearing and loathing
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SO another new year is upon us and many will think there are not great grounds for feeling optimistic.
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So the evil Bush and his monkey legions have defeated Saint Kerry
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Against every humanitarian plea, against every civilised instinct, against reason and sense themselves,
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His headless corpse
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Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Final Edition By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
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As me 'n brother made way to ye olde town for weekend spree, we circumnavigated giant telly
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Crikey, www.catsandkittens ; been a while, hasn't it? How things seem to have changed since
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Columns - Eel Llenassac presents Smokers Corner
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I somehow found my way to the bedroom last night where I was blessed with the presence of the
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I had a nice good old-fashioned drunken
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In my role at thisisUll.com I seem to have taken it upon myself to be the reporter,
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In using the word crack please
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Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull
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I wonder how Humberside police chief David Westwood is frittering away his time as he waits and waits to learn his fate after being suspended from duty pending the result of an inquiry.
I rather hope that he might use this enforced rest period to take up a hobby which he once used to practise with some enthusiasm.
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Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Four By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
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How do kinsman and other lesser bein's (am only jestin' ya). August 1st on Sabbath was national Yorkshire day, by glad to say that thee rejoiced without limitations.
In one day thee crossed the boundaries of North, West and Eastern Yorkshire, walked the moors, a pint a' Theakstons and consumed a well cooked piece a' rump.
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Columns - Something Hot in a Cold Country - Part 1 By Jane Foster
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Well several hot spicy items have caught my attention these last few weeks.
First of all I hear that the great Imran Khan has divorced his wife Jemima.
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Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Three By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
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Behold ye listeners of the righteous truth, for day has passed to night and yester folly has turned to moro's squander.
If rantin's of a non-commissioned exaggerator is what thou be wantin', then thou has arrived tat right place,
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Sanctuary, for all those of common purpose who refuse the outside
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Oh, I'll admit that things have happened - it's not like the international movers and
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Yet again tis what the government gave me, two score an eight hours of rest and unbridled caperings.
Thou find thee and company in the homely ambience of the lonely tavern.
Three men of little wit but a wisdom born of hard adventurin'.
Our chatterins aim not to preach but to teach.
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Much as it pains me to say it, this week has found me thinking that we may - as right-thinking
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Let's not beat around the bush, www.catsandkittens; last week, some harsh words were said.
I - in an unprecedented and regrettable lapse - allowed my integrity and even-handed,
dispassionate analysis of Things As They Are to become compromised by personal opinion:
there, I've said it. I admit fully that
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Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition One By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
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Recently in the hallowed pages of thisisull.com a new columnist has sprung up, filling our heads
with home-grown opinions. This master of the pen is none other than the Silverfox, a man I have
many a doings with in CrackTown.
Now much as I respect the genius and
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