Steve Regan : The Exiled King Of Hull Writes...9th November 06

Today I shall mainly be writing about love, sort of. Starting point: we are living through confusing times. On the one hand we Brits are now much ruder to each other than we were in the recent past. We are also more prone to seriously anti-social behaviour - and we are generally much thicker too, thanks to the huge failure in schooling (and nowhere is that more the case than in Hull). But in other ways we have become much warmer human beings. The old stiff upper lip has gone. We find it easier to show affection for each other than we used to.

I'm aged ... well, never you mind how old I am ... but I remember when British people were much more repressed and buttoned up than they are now. Nowadays, grown men will readily hug and even on occasion kiss each other. These things are quite common sights and they are not sexual behaviours, merely social. I'm talking about straight men here, not gay ones, though I think social hugging and kissing is probably on the increase among gay men as well. I don't really know enough gay men to be able to tell, but good luck to them whatever they are up to.

Women are also huggier and kissier with each other these days, although English working class women in the North have long been inclined to show each other physical affection.

Not everybody likes all this hugging and pouting and opening up of the emotions - but on the whole I think most folk do. That headmaster in Cornwall who recently banned teenagers from hugging in school is a fool. Another idiot is Tory Leader David Cameron, who reckons young people need 'love' to stop them turning to crime. No David, what young tearaways need is discipline and the fear of God putting up them. However, the little signs of everyday affection that we all see in our otherwise troubled society are helping to bind us together in solidarity. That's just great, a sign of hope for the future.

It is certainly a good thing to hug people or pat them on the arm or the shoulder with affection. Because although such social contact is not sexual, it is certainly about love... love of our fellow human beings, that is.

Human beings are the only truly intelligent living creatures we know, and, of course, they (we) are a fascinating lot. Whether there are other equally interesting, subtle, beautiful and infuriating beings on other planets is perhaps the most important question we face in the near future. Personally, I think there absolutely must be intelligent aliens out there somewhere. But getting back to what it means to be human, well, this is rightly the hottest topic in modern literature.

Two authors who are particularly good on addressing this compelling theme are William Boyd (if you only read one more novel this year, read his Any Human Heart) and Michel Houellebecq (read his Atomised and The Possibility of an Island). The books I mentioned will raise your view of humanity and make you think what amazing wonder there is in our world despite all the problems facing modern society. Whenever I feel jaded, perhaps by the deadening politics of the workplace, I have only to visit my local pub, Hell's Waiting Room, to realise what inspiring, funny, infuriating, depressing, uplifting, peculiar animals are human beings.

In this pub I encounter: amateur philosophers; quiet sages; kind hearts; bores; wits; sex bombs; serious drinkers; one-man laughter machines; one-woman laughter machines; people who are intensely irritating (no names, no pack drills, they know who they are!); folk with smiles like saints; folk with faces like Satan; people who always want to be the centre of attention; people who are always up at the bar buying you a drink; people who never buy anyone a drink; women and men whose smile can light up a room; people who speak pure poetry and people who speak the most appalling gibberish.

And don't even get me started on: the sneerers; the grinners; the jokers; the fantasists; those who cast dirty looks at others; those who are always cadging my cigarettes; and those who are plainly as mad as a bag of snakes. The point is, everyone is capable of behaving badly one minute and brilliantly the next. That changeability is part of being human too - and I love it.

Columns - Morality for Dummies By Kenton Hall
	I was raised in a God-fearing household. And, by God-fearing, I mean, scared witless. We were brought up to believe that if we behaved, prayed and refrained from any variety of pleasure. (Top three no-no: self-abuse, premarital sex and unripe kiwi fruit). In fact, my father had a terrible habit of jumping out from behind doors and screaming, "Now what would Read more...

Columns - Knocking On Heaven's Door? By Jim Higo
	If at first you don't succeed, then maybe being a suicide bomber's not the job for you. Just over a year on from the London bombings and I'm on Kings Cross tube station and, along with all the other white people, I'm carefully scouring the platform for Asians with rucksacks. I'm a socialist, a humanist, an internationalist, yet here I am thinking thoughts that come straight out Read more...

Columns - Patriot Games By Kenton Hall
	The other night, as I lay sun-stroked and pissy along the length of the familial sofa, drinking coffee from a giraffe-shaped mug and watching Gene Wilder get repeatedly thrown from a train, I had an epiphany. I'm prone to them. This particular revelation occurred when I was startled from my grumbling reveries by a flash of blonde and an explosion of sound. Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan - King of Hull 1st May 2006
	The story of John Prescott's sexual indiscretions with his secretary has been an absolute hoot on one level. Suddenly, it was as if Jabba the Hutt had come to life in all his slimy lecherousness. By the time you read this, Prezza might already have been forced to resign. The lairy photographs showing our oafish Deputy Prime Minister cavorting with Tracey Temple Read more...

Columns - Suzie's Social Conscience Part 6
	Hi there! Well, I've given a little thought this week to those amazing people of outstanding conscience, courage and bravery. People who have risked their freedom, and even their lives, for a cause that they believe in. Take Martin Luther King, for example. How inspiring it was when he got up and made that speech.... I Have a Dream. Even more amazing, that over a decade later, Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan, King of Hull - He's Far From Dead 7th March 2006
	Does anybody - apart from a few fluff-headed showbiz presenters on GMTV - care a flying fig for the Oscars? I certainly find this annual gong-fest intensely boring, and so do most TV viewers, since the ratings have been falling year on year. In fact, I find the whole of the modern Hollywood film industry and its, ahem, "stars" fantastically dull. Take the so-called Read more...

Columns - Suzie's Social Conscience Part 2
	Hi fans! As people with a conscience, I'm sure we can all empathise with the stigma and alienation of mental illness. Take agoraphobia, for example. Just imagine - trapped indoors for months on end, it doesn't sound much fun. Especially for party chicks like me!! But did you know that it's good for your complexion? Yes! My friend Cornisha told me this fascinating fact, which has just been proven in a joint study by MIND and Oil of Olay !! Read more...

Columns - Suzie's Social Conscience Part 1
	Hi there everyone! I'm Suzie Horsington-cum-Scoff (yes I know that's a mouthful isn't it!) And I'm here to dispense some wisdom for the next few weeks to you sweet local people. (Ooh I so love local people - a shame that I had never met any until I visited Hull!) Let me tell you about myself. I'm an Oxford Sociology graduate (for my sins!) And my favourite hobby is Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan - King Of Hull 14th February 2006.
	Valentine's Day brought an outpouring of affection and gifts to my door from people who clearly like me and know what I like. Oh, I got the usual twenty-or-so cards, some slushy, a few witty and at least three positively obscene. Hey, look, I am used to being an object of lust because of my uncanny resemblance to Johnny Depp. But this year I also received some lovely romantic gifts Read more...

Columns - Those Old Playpenitentiary Blues by The Silver Fox
	Long time no see, www.catsandkittens.com; hell of a long time, come to think of it. Now, far be it from me to suggest that people who spend long enough on the Internet to pick over the detritus that litters the scrubby grass verges of this particular Information Super Lay-by don't lead full and busy lives - buying tat on Ebay, looking for dwarf porn Read more...

Columns - Crazy Joe's News-Rant - Am I Right Wing or Left Wing? Part 2 By King Rat
	Given the choice between orally pleasing a great white shark and being the Falluja Avon lady, I guess some man-eating fish is in for it. As captain America's hillbilly conscripts tear at the bit to open up another operation of blood fest on those happy zealots; Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull A New Year Message
	SO another new year is upon us and many will think there are not great grounds for feeling optimistic. What with Iraq in flames, MRSA still ripping through UK hospitals, a pensions crisis and the property market about to go into freefall, 21st century life hardly Read more...

Columns - Crazy Joe's News-Rant - Am I Right Wing or Left Wing? By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	So the evil Bush and his monkey legions have defeated Saint Kerry and retain their unchallenged crown as supreme rulers of the universe. News just in, Florida has voted Republican. The masses of Black Americans and Cuban spivs who were denied electoral rights last time have let him off Read more...

Columns - Oh My God - They Killed Kenny - You Hirsute, Scottish Bastard! By The Silver Fox
	Against every humanitarian plea, against every civilised instinct, against reason and sense themselves, they did it. Ken Bigley is dead; a victim of a struggle about which he (like many of us) neither wished to participate in nor particularly understood. His headless corpse Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Final Edition By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
	As me 'n brother made way to ye olde town for weekend spree, we circumnavigated giant telly yon Victoria square. Now thee been told that giant telly cost a pretty packet and sum of English pounds. On slight sight of surrounding acres there was but one weather-beaten Read more...

Columns - Here I Go Again, On The Moan By The Silver Fox
	Crikey, www.catsandkittens ; been a while, hasn't it? How things seem to have changed since last we got together. I love what some of you have done with your hair, I must say, and how long has that been there? No, no - it's nice, it really is ... you just don't see many of them these days, that's Read more...

Columns - Eel Llenassac presents Smokers Corner
	I somehow found my way to the bedroom last night where I was blessed with the presence of the Sliver Fox, The Manchurian Candidate, Cowfish and Shindig (including their every reliable roadie, Stevo Ravishing Rick Wraggs. I had a nice good old-fashioned drunken Read more...

Columns - Something Hot in a Cold Country - Part 2 By Jane Foster
	In my role at thisisUll.com I seem to have taken it upon myself to be the reporter, nay, the spread-the-worder - of all things multicultural in the tiny crack of the universe that is 'ull. In using the word crack please Read more...