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Columns
Morality for Dummies (2/2)
By Kenton Hall
(1/2), (2/2)

Oh, and if you don't understand that Paul Heaton could write a better song with his head in a pig than Chris Martin could hope to achieve with an infinite lifespan and assisted by an infinite number of monkeys, than we aren't going to get on too well.

I'm a Godless, smart-arse writer with the patience of Job's younger brother Dennis, who is reported to have said unto the Lord, "Get on with it, already! Top Gear's about to start."
I love my partner and my children, and I might like you a lot more if you'd wake up and pay attention once and a while.

These are my morals.

Amen. kenton.ist@gmail.com.

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Final Edition
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
As me 'n brother made way to ye olde town for weekend spree, we circumnavigated giant telly yon Victoria square. Now thee been told that giant telly cost a pretty packet and sum of English pounds. On slight sight of surrounding acres there was but one weather-beaten Read more...

Columns - Here I Go Again, On The Moan
By The Silver Fox
Crikey, www.catsandkittens ; been a while, hasn't it? How things seem to have changed since last we got together. I love what some of you have done with your hair, I must say, and how long has that been there? No, no - it's nice, it really is ... you just don't see many of them these days, that's Read more...

Columns - Eel Llenassac presents Smokers Corner
I somehow found my way to the bedroom last night where I was blessed with the presence of the Sliver Fox, The Manchurian Candidate, Cowfish and Shindig (including their every reliable roadie, Stevo Ravishing Rick Wraggs. I had a nice good old-fashioned drunken Read more...

Columns - Something Hot in a Cold Country - Part 2
By Jane Foster
In my role at thisisUll.com I seem to have taken it upon myself to be the reporter, nay, the spread-the-worder - of all things multicultural in the tiny crack of the universe that is 'ull. In using the word crack please Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull
I wonder how Humberside police chief David Westwood is frittering away his time as he waits and waits to learn his fate after being suspended from duty pending the result of an inquiry. I rather hope that he might use this enforced rest period to take up a hobby which he once used to practise with some enthusiasm. Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Four
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
How do kinsman and other lesser bein's (am only jestin' ya). August 1st on Sabbath was national Yorkshire day, by glad to say that thee rejoiced without limitations. In one day thee crossed the boundaries of North, West and Eastern Yorkshire, walked the moors, a pint a' Theakstons and consumed a well cooked piece a' rump. Read more...

Columns - Something Hot in a Cold Country - Part 1
By Jane Foster
Well several hot spicy items have caught my attention these last few weeks. First of all I hear that the great Imran Khan has divorced his wife Jemima. Well let's face it, a name like Jemima is unforgivable at the best of times...to me it will always be associated with a rather passive, second rate Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Three
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
Behold ye listeners of the righteous truth, for day has passed to night and yester folly has turned to moro's squander. If rantin's of a non-commissioned exaggerator is what thou be wantin', then thou has arrived tat right place, the lonely tavern. Sanctuary, for all those of common purpose who refuse the outside Read more...

Columns - I'd Like To Teach The World to Shut The Fuck Up
By The Silver Fox
What with Wimbledon, Euro 2004, Hell's Kitchen, Big Brother 5, and the recent healing of the lesbian storyline on Emmerdale Farm, some of you may have noticed that actual news has been a bit thin on the ground lately. Oh, I'll admit that things have happened - it's not like the international movers and Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition Two
By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
Yet again tis what the government gave me, two score an eight hours of rest and unbridled caperings. Thou find thee and company in the homely ambience of the lonely tavern. Three men of little wit but a wisdom born of hard adventurin'. Our chatterins aim not to preach but to teach. Read more...

Columns - Poor Little Reich Kids By Silver Fox
Much as it pains me to say it, this week has found me thinking that we may - as right-thinking people (and if you're not a right-thinking person, what the hell are you doing hanging around my information super-lay-by? Piss off over to www.you'vebeenstillborn.net where the likes of you are better Read more...

Columns - Ronald Reagan - An Apology By Silver Fox
Let's not beat around the bush, www.catsandkittens; last week, some harsh words were said. I - in an unprecedented and regrettable lapse - allowed my integrity and even-handed, dispassionate analysis of Things As They Are to become compromised by personal opinion: there, I've said it. I admit fully that Read more...

Columns - Tales from the Lonely Tavern - Edition One By King Rat - Professional Yorkshireman
Recently in the hallowed pages of thisisull.com a new columnist has sprung up, filling our heads with home-grown opinions. This master of the pen is none other than the Silverfox, a man I have many a doings with in CrackTown. Now much as I respect the genius and Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull
There is panic throughout most of the state and voluntary-aided schools in Hull because so many pupils are simply out of control. A new report and survey chronicles the terrible situation in classrooms across this city. I'm sorry to say it is a picture which does not hold out a great deal of Read more...

Columns - Rupert, Ted and the Phantom Stink of Catpiss
By Silver Fox
According to a recent survey, Britain's international prestige has taken something of a knock of late. Foreign nationals either living in or visiting dear old Blighty have been asked what they think of www.mcunitedkingdom.com and many - and not all that varied - have been Read more...

Columns - The Buck Went Thataway By Silver Fox
Firstly, I'd like to thank anyone who's pointed-and-clicked their way to my little information superhighway lay-by for a second time. It shows an entirely laudable spirit of forgiveness and optimism on your part; a spirit that you should be proud of and one that makes you very special indeed. To be honest, Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: The Return of The King
MY visit to Hull last weekend was a blast. I came, I hugged, I drank and I lost my mobile phone in The Piper. The phone's since been returned to me. A reporter from the Hull Daily Mail had picked it up accidentally and taken it home, thinking it was hers. Friday evening began with me slurping Read more...

Columns - Democracy - Not Everyone's Bag - The Silver Fox
First things first: I ought to clarify what I'm doing here, taking up valuable space on your monitor - a space that I realise that so many of you consider an inviolate sanctuary for pictures of amusing deformity or make your own Semtex recipes. The fact is, it's all something of a mistake. Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: visits Hull
NEWSFLASH! The King of Hull is making a State Visit to the city this weekend (April 24 and 25). Yes, Steve Regan will be among his people in person. He'll be popping up all around the city centre but if you would like to meet him go The Lamp bar between 5.15pm and 6.30pm where he will be having a pint or two on Saturday.
Read more...

Columns - Steve Regan: the King of Hull's famous column
AS some of you may have noticed - I'm back, back, BACK! My column has returned for the people of Hull, who have apparently missed it sorely since it disappeared from the Hull Daily Mail nearly two years ago. Even the Leader of Hell City Council, Colin Davros Inglis, has been complaining there are now no proper columnists locally to keep him and his Read more...

Columns - King of Hull by Steve Regan 15 April 2004
OUR modern lives are plagued by pathological restlessness. We are never satisfied, always wanting to improve or change things or to move on to where we imagine the grass will be greener. This restlessness afflicts everyone to a degree. Do you know anyone who is perfectly contented, with his or her job, or lack of a job, emotional life, family circumstances or home? I recently met someone I hadn't seen for several years Read more...

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