Having that said to you, just once, is one time too many. Why? Why was this person scared of me? Drunken rage? Membership in the BNP? A predilection for bumming puppies? Nope, none of those (admittedly scary) things.
I had done nothing but acquire a label; 'Psychotic'.
So what do people understand by that? Usually it's some media inspired portrayal of a reality avoiding, maniac with a large blade. The reality is both fairer and fouler than the common perception. No, psychotics are not automatically or overwhelmingly prone to violence or abuse. Yeah, it's a breaking of reality and most probably scarier than your last cheap acid trip.
Having to suffer under other peoples misapprehensions, whilst trying your hardest to hold it together, is somewhat counterproductive and it's obvious that society does not help some of its most injured members recover at all.
It was with such rage and self assured conviction (and the illusion of being able to write), that I was pimped out by Psypher (a local NHS initiative that stops me going off the rails, too much) to the 'ACE' project (a part of East Yorkshire Mind).
ACE had assembled a crack team of local nut jobs, with a wide ranging experience of mental injury, from a variety of backgrounds. It was decided that the project would centre on a website, one that we would create ourselves. Well I say create, being the only fucker there with the slightest idea of the gibberish that is 'html', I cunningly refused to code the entire thing by hand.
For this purpose we brought in Jellycat Media www.jellycatmedia.com a local, non-profit company who have experience with mental health issues. Not only could they deal with the chicanery of the intertubes, they were able to hook us up with local specialists in a variety of media forms.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself there.
The plan was to do several things with the website. Firstly we wanted to provide a resource for sufferers of mental injury, their family and friends. Secondly we wanted to try and dispel some of the stigma surrounding mental injury (if you're not sure what 'stigma' is, well it's the baseless comments such as 'you scare me').
Exactly how we were going to do this was up for debate. We decided on a familiar tone, there were plenty of websites available with either an overbearing or indecipherable take on mental health. Admittedly, using the word 'fuck' and making a joke of our injuries is going to put across a certain attitude on its own, nor would I have been involved if I couldn't do either of those things.
We then had to decide upon exactly what kind of content we were going to have. I campaigned for rambling articles
where I imagined I was Hunter S. Thompson. Fortunately I was outvoted.
It was agreed that one way we wanted to do this was by showcasing our varied talents.
This is where Jellycat parachuted in specialists who knew how to do such things as filming, art and music. In successive weeks we recorded songs, created as a group and individual efforts from the more musically inclined members of the group. We went out on the streets to get vox pops from the inhabitants of Hull, about their understanding of 'mental health'. We told our personal stories to a camera and filmed a sketch we had written.
Under some expert guidance we created self portraits and sequential art. For a break, my ego was allowed full reign, as we experimented with a 'peer led' session to allow our literary skills an outing.
So, after several weeks of hard work we had ourselves a website.
All we had to do now was decide on a name. It didn't take long for us to agree that a less serious and slightly self
mocking name would suit our aims best. The genesis of www.gonecrazy.org.uk was complete.
After such effort we thought we should have a bit of a blow out. All in the most professional way, of course. After a buffet and power-point event for the big wigs, we decamped to 'The Lamp' for an evening of entertainment.
As it was a launch event for the website, we had our most talented member, Megan, headline the night with a display of her music. She was joined by a couple of local acts whose names I have shamefully forgotten. Interspaced between the music we had some readings of the poetry we had created for the night. All in all, I'm told it went well, I can't remember I was fucked.
We don't intend to leave it there. We want to build upon and expand upon the site; we want to hear from anyone affected
by mental health issues.
We'd be happy to look at submissions of any kind, and hope that there'd be a place for anyone on our site.
Ideally we'd love to be able to do some more music and filming, but that relies on getting more funding, and the rest of the group ignoring my bellows for 'free fucking t-shirts'.
Articles - Channel 4 Students and Friday Night Stars By Phil Prethero
2007, The One Stop 24 Hour Shop, High Street, Lincoln
It's Saturday, it's 7 in the morning, and I'm at work, hung over, stood here like a trampled on torn up tampon - of use to absolutely nobody.
Why the fuck I agreed to these shifts is beyond me, normal people at the age of 21 and in their last year of uni are in bed at this time, they'll get up at about 11,
Articles - Can You Help? Hull Clubs in the Sixties Keith Fairhurst
I wonder if you can help me. I am searching for the name of a 1965 Hull beat club.
The club was at the end of a passageway between two buildings off a one-way street in the centre of the city. It had a small opening/courtyard in front of the main entrance. The passageway was on the right hand side as you travelled down the street.
I believe it was called The Black Cat Club or Kontiki ClubRead more...
Articles - The Interview: The Four Ps - Plan, Prepare, Participate and Be Positive.By Mike Kemp, CV Satisfaction
As individuals who are looking to find employment the interview proves to be the
most daunting task.
But this doesn't have to be the case using the four P's system:
Plan, Prepare, Participate and Be Positive.
This is a system that was devised by CV Satisfaction which covers all areas
of the interview from the beginning to the end. Let's look at each one individually.
Articles - Apple iPod Touch; The iPhone Without the Phone Reviewed by Mo
Ok so first of all I'm over 50, with a pretty crap social life and like most of my generation, mobile phones reside in a blind spot of my brain. The fiddly keys, address books and ridiculous lose-ablity of the device help to keep it there.
Last time I called my (£15 pay as you go from Woolies) mobile in an attempt to find it, it was answered by a lovely police officer lady at the Reading Station's lost and found.
Articles - Jody McKenna and The Secret Millionaire (show to be aired Sunday 26th April 09 Channel 4) By Michelle Dee
Champagne Lifestyle on a Lemonade Budget was the title of singer/songwriters
and Dave Saxby latterly of The Peasants debut album
Jody could be forgiven for thinking those dreams of grandeur and prosperity had
finally been realised when Channel 4's Secret Millionaire presented him with
a cheque for twenty grand.
Articles - I Got Married By Ruth
I got married (my one and only time) in 1981. It was November and I was a college student in West Texas. My husband to be was five years older than I. He was very rugged/handsome, and a former football player in a land where football is king.
In fairness, this tale should be told with a Greek Chorus (you know, those people with white robes that say stuff like, 'Don't eat that, it's poison!' or
Articles - National Recognition for thisisUll.com - Fringe Report Awards 2009 By Cilla Photographs by Carl Schofield and Mo.
Monday 9th February 2009 was a landmark date for thisisUll.com and all
its contributors. On your behalf, I had the honour of accepting the
Fringe Report 2009 award for Best Publication.
Fringe Report, under the guidance and leadership of its editor
John Park is based in London. It reviews and supports fringe theatre,
arts, independent and arthouse film, dance, performance,
Articles - What The Doctor Did Next By James Marsters
So, we all know by now that The Eleventh Doctor will be played by none other than
household name Matt Smith. Okay, okay, so maybe he's not a household name now but
what will the future hold for the 26-year old once he has hung up his sonic
screwdriver and given back the keys to the TARDIS? Judging by the other ten
actors to have played the Time Lord, it's anyone's guess.
Articles - If Hull Were Gaza, 3rd January 2009 By Martin Deane
If Hull were Gaza there would be some 384 casualties of family and friends, with about 64 dead.
These are spread across the city killed or wounded by bombs dropped or missiles fired from state-of-the-art F-16 fighter jets. (These jets, by the way, regularly overfly the city at supersonic speeds making a frightening boom through the sound barrier.
Articles - Dear Diary By Ruth
It is New Years Day 2009. I just left my hospital, the same one I trained in 18 years ago. I've only changed the names of those I like. Everyone else can screw off.
I had a lovely weekend on call. Here's a taste of my time as an intern rotating on general surgery.
The patient was a 14-year-old Hispanic female.
Articles - Last of 2008 - The Story of www.thisisUll.com By Cilla Wykes, Editor
Well it's that time of year again; time to look back, forward and then try to get the present into focus. Instead of writing a review of 2008, I'm publishing my personal history of thisisUll.com, telling my story of the 5 years we've been here ...
Throughout my life the kitchen table has been a place of immense significance.
The hub of what's going on in everybody's life. It's where problems are pondered
Articles - Confessions of a Webmaster By Mo
I'm not sure what year it was, somewhere mid winter, I had been dragged in to work as a consultant developer for Smith Barney, to work on a rather hairy problem they could not solve themselves. A reporting problem, to deliver reports on cross currency swaps, derivative products with complex accumulators outside the scope of their existing software
Articles - A Tiny Tale of Onion Rings By Ruth
The Sunday before my bowel surgery, I was sort of bummed out.
I have always been pretty thin and fit as an adult. Yeah, I was still wearing little two-piece bathing suits into my late 40's. So what? It pays to advertise... Anyway, the thought of a bigass midline incision meant the end of my two-piece days. And worse still, chemotherapy and the resulting hair loss was not a big plus.
Articles - What Do You Remember - And Where? By Tegwen Roberts
Hull University Geography Department is running a new research project on memory and landscape in Hull. We're interested in the things that Hull residents of different ages remember about their daily lives, and how these sorts of memories are attached to different parts of the modern-day city.
We think this is particularly important at the moment as the city is undergoing large-scale
Articles - David Icke - Big Brother - The Big Picture By Michelle Dee
I believe in non violent non co-operation against a system that seeks to enslave us.
Election fever has hit the Howden and Haltemprice constituency and today the 2nd July
space is at a premium in the conference room of the Willerby Manor Hotel where candidate
David Icke is holding his first press conference after deciding to run in the pending by-election.
Articles - The 'Big Brother' By-election Is Beginning To Stink, Says Candidate Icke By David Icke
Why are 'Neocons' behind the Big Brother State supporting David Davis in his 'opposition' to the Big Brother State?
Conservative Member of Parliament, Ed Vaizey came to the Haltemprice and
Howden 'Big Brother' by-election campaign to 'support' the stance that his colleague
David Davis claims to be waging against an Orwellian society.
This is very strange given Vaizey's background
Articles - The Burning Question: Can a Tribute Act Be Better Than The Real Thing? By Steve Rudd
In a word: yes. A tribute act most definitely can be better than the real thing.
Should anybody hanker after proof, then I recommend catching a show by Steve Steinman,
an extraordinary singer/ performer from the Newark area who has been wowing crowds the
world over for the best part of the past twenty years.
At the moment Steve is dividing his attention between two
Articles - The Future of Sex By Christopher Skolik
We live in a landscape of strange potential. Where attitudes and psychological states can be adopted and discarded, where mental disorders have become fashion accessories, where homosexuality and 'gay' have become separated to such an extent that to be homosexual and not subscribe to the 'gay' myth is a form of heresy.
The human body is not equipped to deal with the
Articles - Local Election Sex Shocker Special By Lee Cassanell
Yes it's that time of year folks. The leaflets have been distributed, babies have been kissed and your local politicians have been photographed with some wheel chair bound thalidomide.
Now I have nothing against people suffering from the thald, in fact I once spent a steaming evening with a short armed seductress and I found her to be both passionate and
Articles - Tibet Protests and Britain's Moral Weight By Martin Deane Green Party (01482) 471467
The news over the weekend was full of the protests in London over the Olympic torch being carried through London for the Olympics in Beijing, China. There were 37 arrests in London with China expressing disgust at such protests. The protests were for the cause of Tibet which has seen a clampdown in recent months by the Chinese occupying authorities including much brutality, wounding and a number of deaths.
Articles - Jobcentre Plus Part 4 - 'Tis a Tangled Web We Weave By Martin Nickson
I don't know how many of you have read Jared Diamond's work, but in his fine treatise
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed, a main tenant of the gentleman's
work focuses on (perhaps I should have said 'talks about issues around') observations
that the collapse of seemingly viable, complex civilisations
Articles - Hull The Only Place In The UK Where You Do not Have A Choice. By Alan Dalgairns
I'm sitting here in my home in hull typing this article but the only way I
can send it is by email using Kingston Communications phone line supported by
Karoo broadband and this is the only town in the UK in this position... well that's
not strictly true, I could go back to dial-up and take Hull24's service or I could
start a wireless contract with any of the