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Last Updated: 18/01/2008 14:02:04
Extract taken from my blog about my experiences since recently returning to UK, specifically Hull, after 10 years abroad, mostly in Canada.
Thursday, 8 March 2007
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Well after the adventures described in Website Madness
1061459431_martinwebsitemadness.html,
I thought it would be unkind to leave the tale incomplete - who was it said 'A start, a middle and an end'.
As it turns out, my previous post was only the start, this missive represents the
early middle, and the end is some way off.
Chosen career number one, Adult Education Lecturer, is in a state of suspension.
I have applied for, and been accepted on a course starting in September that is
designed to convert my experience into teaching qualifications.
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The Little Yellow Application form has worked its magic, and I am also at the
end of a shortlist to actually get some work if a position becomes available.
I should add that the phrase 'shortlist' in a country of 60 million people is
oxymoronic.
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Chosen career number two, Home Inspector, is also in a state of suspension, although this career choice is cryogenically frozen until someone discovers a cure, rather than just a year or two off. This is due to a combination of our finances, and possibilities of the next UK government messing with the Home Inspector scheme, thus making any contemplation of investing in this training the least sensible idea we've had since Nel and I attended dance classes and agreed that the man (i.e. me) should lead.
The conclusion is that I actually now will be returning to the building site (at least
metaphorically if not an actual building site), as soon as possible, because we need money.
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Having taken several days to have a magnificent sulk about this 'should have been obvious' necessity, I also decided to register for the English version of EI. The English version was known as Unemployment Benefit (UB), but is now the friendlier sounding Job Seekers Allowance (JSA).
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NOTE: Some countries have Reciprocal Agreements (RA). These agreements allow a person who has contributed to the EI scheme (EI CONTS) in Canada (CAN) to transfer these EI CONTS to the UK National Insurance Scheme (UKNIS) and get paid JSA money. It can be expressed as follows:
EI CONTS/CAN * (RA + UKNIS) = $$$ where $$$ = JSA and EI CONTS = loads.
Applying for JSA means revisiting the website of my old friend, JOBCENTRE PLUS.
Undeterred by my previous experience I log-on, thinking 'Dishing out benefits is their specialist
area, this will be a snip'.
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Alas, as the bard quoth, the plans of mice and men 'aft gang awry'. It looks promising at first, as I scroll to the page that says 'How to claim benefit'.
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Articles, Health - Common Running Injuries By Dr. Steven Bartz
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In my last article I reviewed some of the recent research that may indicate that typical aerobic exercise such as distance running may be more problematic than just your common office visit injuries many doctors see in their offices. As a recap, the evidence seems to show a relationship that generic "aerobics" may actually cause a reduction in
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Articles, Health - Is Running Killing You? By Dr. Steven Bartz
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I'm about to slaughter the sacred cow of athletics. Running. In particular, long distance running.
Oh, I can hear the hate mail rolling in already. Don't get me wrong I love runners, they account
for a large portion of my patient base.
I used to be a runner, until I got tired of all the consistent injuries that I was dealing with.
You see I was probably
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Articles - Jobcentre Plus Part 1 - Website Madness By Martin Nickson
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As background to this post, part of the 'deal' that Nel and I have, now she has a permanent
post, is that I have the liberty to pursue a new career direction, if I should choose.
Her achievement in gaining liberation from post-doctoral purgatory (AKA 'getting a job')
has given us a degree of financial security that we've never had before, which in turn gives
me more freedom to work in a job that I do not hate.
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Articles - A Very British Train Journey By Martin Nickson
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Extract taken from my blog about my experiences since recently returning to the UK, specifically Hull, after 10 years abroad, mostly in Canada.
It's 19.38, late summer by English standards, and I'm in full wet weather cycling regalia
returning from yet another eternally long day at work.
I have full panniers, in one side is a bag of cat food,
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Articles - Pitch Imperfect By Philip Wincolmlee Barnes
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Tap, tap, tap.
That could have been the sound of my quasi-mystical Peruvian neighbour from down the corridor, wishing to speak to me about his recent dope-fuelled nightmares about witch doctors and wild, shape-shifting beasts. These hallucinations often disturbed him, and he sought comfort in my fancy Western logic or, more accurately,
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Articles - Response To Lee Cassanell - Flood Aid - What's It All About? By John Fareham
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So there I was, sitting at my laptop, supping a hot ribena (such is life in the fast lane when you have reached the end of a day when you couldn't trim your hedge because it was raining) when I spotted that Lee Cassanell, Ella Street's other hat wearer had written in.
Girding my loins ready for more action, and polishing up a few merry quips
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Articles - Response To The Flood Aid Feud By War Drobe
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So I'd just got back from the annual Greasyroots festival, soaked to the bone and
smelling of joss sticks, third rate cannabis and self-indulgent white middle-class liberals.
I sat down at my PC and there was the latest contribution to the Flood Aid Feud.
War between Chester Draws, Sir John Fareham and Lee Cassanell is brewing
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Articles - Just Do It: The Swinging Sixties By Christine Park
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Becoming a pensioner happens to other people, not me! So when I held my 60th birthday party
I affected a kind of put-on smile for the evening.
This did not amuse my daughter who had kindly arranged and paid for champagne.
She saw through the curled lip and told me to move on.
At the time I wasn't sure what she meant, but the following day
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Articles - Response To John Fareham - Flood Aid - What's It All About? By Lee Cassanell
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So I was sitting at my PC smoking a roll and reading the latest Hull Flood News when I chanced upon this little nugget from the right honourable Conservative compulsive hedge trimmer Sir John Fareham in his response to an article by the comically named Chester Draws.
"I think he tries too hard to disguise his identity, but not all that successfully
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Articles - Is Modern Life Shit? By Scott Rorrison.
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I was a reckless youth who, due to a heavy influence from Jim Morrison realised the importance of education at the age of about 19. Due to being a late starter I am still working at an engineering company for my sins whilst studying English with the O.U.
At this previously mentioned place of work the lads enjoy nothing more than listening to the local
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Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 5 By Buick McCain
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August 1941
Most of our training exercises had been carried out under cover of darkness and with the complicity of local landowners and after three months of rigorous activity, the hard work was eventually paying dividends.
I had organised the six groups into autonomous units and for security, each group consisted
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Articles - Response To Chester Draws Flood Aid - What's It All About? By John Fareham
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I am probably missing something but in the desperate attempt to be 'with attitude' the article by 'Chester' rather misses some points.
I doubt the council need lessons in drunken perversion from a man who seems aroused by his ability to urinate
in public and a need to share that with us: great promotion for Hull. I wonder if Chester would like to name
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Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 4 By Buick McCain
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The crossing over the Channel was uneventful and as we approached the coastline the Flight Sergeant beckoned me forward and pointed towards the horizon. Immediately the scale of Hitler's stranglehold over Europe became frighteningly real. Far below but as far as the eye could see, the massed German forces waited menacingly
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Articles - Response to Hull Flood Aid - What's It All About? By Chester Draws
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I must confess I found Michelle Dee's article on Hull Flood aid much more lucid and sober than some of her previous creative explorations and I for one am glad she had the inclination and good sense to raise the issue.
Still, it was only a bit of water and although some people have lost possessions and property at least it provided them with a bit of excitement
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Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 3 By Buick McCain
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Throughout the rest of the day reports of further explosions, all of which were in and around the West End were filtering back to Baker Street. We were ordered to remain in the building until we had clearance from the police and the army bomb squad commander.
Murray half heartedly tried to explain the semantics and machinations
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Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 2 By Buick McCain
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I was back at Baker Street by 9.45am and I knew that if I looked anywhere near as shattered as I felt, I was in trouble. The ubiquitous Sergeant Craig, the unfriendly giant, led me straight up to a second floor room. This time the welcome party consisted of one man, not much older than me.
Although he was dressed in civilian clothes
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Articles - Hull Flood Aid - What's It All About? By Michelle Dee
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Once again the local music community is gearing up to stage a music event in the city of Hull. After the floods that have left many homeless resulted in hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of property damage and caused severe disruption to schools.
Many local businesses will record losses due to flood affected premises and damaged stock.
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Articles - Hydroponics
By Stuart Batley
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Hydroponics in general is a way of growing plants and vegetables of all kinds indoors or in a greenhouse without soil in water containing essential mineral nutrients. Many commercial vegetables are grown this way these days in huge greenhouses. The term hydroponics is derived from Greek word and literally means 'working water'.
There are many system variations on
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Articles - A Bridge Too Far - The Floods By Paul Wood
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Well it was 10.30 am, the morning of the floods and I was on Newland Avenue at the Post Office, watching as the flood water washed up towards the door. I waded across the road ankle-deep to head home where I stayed most of the day.
Around lunch time, my neighbours were bailing out water from down the terrace as the rain had been continuous and it was
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Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy By Buick McCain
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During the summer of 2006 my grandmother sadly passed away. Amongst her possessions, that I was given responsibility for sorting, was a neatly filed and dated collection of my late grandfather's diaries, dating from the early 1940s.
Over the ensuing weeks I read and reread all my grandfathers' thoughts. Of his hopes and aspirations
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Articles - A Nightmare on Ella Street By Chester Draws
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Saint’s preserve us ... It’s the end of the world as we know it, the biblical flood has arrived to punish
Ella Street for its Liberal Bohemian ways.
We thought that all our pot smoking, hippy festivals and savage alcohol problems would put us on square
terms with the man upstairs but it seems God is a raging Conservative who would see us all drown
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