Jobcentre Plus Part 3 - My First Signing(2/3) By Martin Nickson

(1/3), (2/3), (3/3). Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Bicycle secured and congestion assured I enter the dole office late. My signing time is 12.25, and I arrive about 12.27. Mike is still interviewing a previous 'customer', whose name is Nicholson - we're dealt with alphabetically, and there's nothing private about these interviews, so I know that Nicholson is married and has been unemployed for twelve weeks.

I squeeze onto the tiny couch in the carpeted waiting area that has, in another breathtaking, unemployment-busting innovation replaced the open cowsheds of the eighties.

Mike gets me to sign my little form, then asks me what I've been doing to find work. I proudly show him the written evidence and the outcomes of the interviews I've had in the last two weeks. Mike asks me if I'm qualified as a carpenter, and I tell him that I have discovered that I need to update my qualifications via a test with the Construction Industry Training Board (CITB), which I have applied for. My application is among the documents I have shown him. Mike, bringing all his training as a careers advisor into effect proudly declares 'You'll need a CTSC card then'. I agree, the CTSC card being the official card granted after a construction worker has had his or her qualifications verified, or tested by the CITB.

Mike produces two poorly photocopied pieces of paper, which he tells me to sign. The first is an agreement that I will attend an Opportunity with an organisation called Learning Direct. This Opportunity requires me to attend a training session with Learning Direct, a consultancy, which will help me identify any training or qualifications I might need to help me re-enter the workforce. The second is an agreement that the benefit I receive may be suspended if I do not attend the Opportunity. I refer Mike to my application for the CITB test, which was issued by Learning Direct, and point out that I have already been in contact with them.

I also point out that I am not receiving benefit at this time, and don't know if I will qualify. One human characteristic is supposed to be an ability to learn. Especially when dealing with bureaucracy. One lesson I thought I'd learnt a long time ago is that when interfacing bureaucratic cyborgs, you should NEVER volunteer any information, NEVER ask questions and try to keep any interactions to an absolute minimum.

Continued .... Next Page (3/3)

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