World War III By Sean Davey

For fucks sake, surrounded by all this teen pop shite that doesn't even deserve to be called music. In my opinion the career of any average manufactured band is far more sinister that that of Slipknot's, Pete Doherty's and Ozzy Osbourne's combined. I'm now convinced that this must be the government's method of keeping the general population under control. Just fill everybody's head full of this unoriginal, inoffensive, politically inactive bollocks to keep the poor bastards passive.

Turn the brain to a soft mush, blissfully unaware that Tony Blair is greasing them up and aiming for penetration while they're in a McFly induced coma.

Secret training camps have been set up somewhere, probably Crawley New Town or Western Super Mare, where they recruit and train young, fake looking MI5 agents in the skills of mind control and mass hypnosis: all in the guise of entertainment. They have an army of them, waiting in readiness for the next wave of attacks by the labor governments' tool of dictatorship.

In 4 years will Tony Blair goose-step along Downing Street? - In all likelihood - yes, but instead of playing Wagner he will march to Blue - All Rise. As the invasion spreads over Europe expect to see members of Westlife being made heads of state in key countries. And Ronan Keating, the all powerful emperor of the western world. Baroness Geri Halliwell and her trusted henchman Dane Bowers will be charged to oversee the gassing of all original musicians, writers and artists in huge concentration camps in Rhyll and Cleethorpes.

All types of music deemed unacceptable by the pope Simon Cowell will be burned on large pyres by the former members of Take That and New Kids on the Block. The new national flag bearing Pete Waterman's face will be flown over Buckingham Palace to honour our new queen Mel C and most people won't even notice - brain washed by that most deadly of mind control tools - Top of the Pops.

The last pockets of resistance, led by Ian Brown and Shaun Ryder will fight against the invasion, refusing to be programmed but they are doomed to fail. Overpowered by a 15 million strong hoard of young girls and homosexuals, sent into a blood thirsty craze by Kylie Minogue with the subliminal message those who do not conform must die in agony embedded in all her lyrics. The teeny boppers will seek out members of the resistance in huge patrols, stoning them to death on site when they are found.

Both sides of the M4 will be lined with crucifixes from which hang once prominent members of the Rock and Indie Scene, Liam Gallagher rotting in the summer sun while next to him Damon Albarn's bones are pecked clean by the birds. Jack White and hell, even Chris Martin will suffer for days before they are finally 'allowed' to die.

Will this really happen? If I were a betting man- which I am -I would give odds shorter than even money that the invasion will be complete in two years. The only advice I can think of is to remember Randall P. McMurphy- don't let the bastards program you, avoid EST and a full frontal lobotomy at all costs. Better dead than to bow to the new rulers of the world, Tony Blair and Michael Jackson who live in their cheesy, passive paradise, delegating power down to their evil minions, Gareth Gates, Will Young and Blue. Sorry was I rambling again? Did that make any sense?

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