Rock the Casbah By Jim Higo (1/2)

(1/2), (2/2).

Notoriety sells records; of that there can be no debate. There really is nothing (other than a dead princess) that guarantees record sales more, than a band fronted by a drug-crazed demented degenerate or a maniacal madman. Taste or morality rarely threaten to prevent the music business from maximizing its opportunities. But once in a while something comes along that even the record companies are too afraid to exploit.

Through the years the rock industry has created, promoted, embraced and in the majority of cases destroyed scores of raging rockers. Ozzy Osbourne, before he became a shuffling, rambling, cartoon like, joke of a man, once took an axe and chopped down every door in his house and then shot all of his chickens. And if that wasn't repulsive enough, he went on to spawn Jack and Kelly; yet none of this was sufficient to stop the music biz from churning out his records.

Sid Vicious', drug fuelled, murder of Nancy Spungen and subsequent comic over dose (which at least saved him from I'm a celebrity get me out of here) saw his brief music career flourish for a while longer. Chuck Berry filmed women in his toilet; R Kelly is embroiled in numerous under age sex allegations; yet their music rambles on: Expect a Gary Glitter revival anytime soon. Kylie Minogue's career goes on and on and on and while admittedly she hasn't been involved in any scandals, it does serve to prove that record companies will sink to any depth in order to make money.

So what is it that can possibly be too sick, sordid or shameful that even the record industry won't risk investing a few bob?

Well the lady who is desperate to get a record deal but is considered to be completely off limits is none other than the niece of Ozzy. Nothing wrong with that you might think, almost every other Osbourne has cut a record recently so why can't she? But no! The Ozzy in question is not the shuffling rambling one; but America's public enemy number one, Osama Bin Laden. His niece is called Wafah, she was born in America and brought up in Switzerland yet she says she considers herself to be an American. I had always assumed that given a choice of nationality between America and any other country, that the other country would always win; unless of course it was Wales.

She claims that all she wants to do is be accepted as an American, live a normal life and blend into the background; so what better way to do that that to try and launch a singing career. During interviews she insists on playing tracks from her demo tape and says she just can't understand why Americans haven't taken to it. Track One - Sheik, Rattle and Roll Wafah spells her name Bin Ladin as opposed to Bin Laden in a very clever attempt to throw the Americans off the scent.

It's thought that the American secret service have actually tracked down Osama on three or four occasions but let him go because he was calling himself Osamu or sometimes Osamer Bin Laden. The Americans can't compete with a criminal mind as cunning as that.

Continued Next Page (2/2),

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