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A LIFE OR DEATH CHOICE
By Jim
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I knew that I had to stop smoking. I had known it for a very long time. I am often in contact with people who are vulnerable and impressionable, yet there I was, influencing them to follow a path which I knew to be a totally destructive one. Whenever I considered it, I could clearly see the duality of the situation I was in. I had tried to give up many times before and failed. There were always reasons to start again. I was an addict. I felt I had come to the point at which I didn't deserve any more chances. Half measures had never worked for me in the past and so were not an option. This was it. The end of the line.
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I needed a failsafe. A mechanism built into my life that would make my decision absolute. There could be no going back.
If I failed I must go to the kitchen and take the knife from the cutlery drawer. The heavy knife with the six inch blade and the blue handle that I use for chopping the vegetables. I must then place my right hand on the chopping board, palm down and stab myself through the back of my hand five times. Then,after placing the knife on the worktop,I must pick it up in my wounded right hand hand and repeat the procedure stabbing myself through left hand five times. I would then complete the dictates of this pact with myself by cutting my throat with the knife and ending my life.
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Having visualised this scenario and having made the decision to stop smoking it turned it into reality. First I told all my friends that I had stopped, that tobacco was no longer going to play any part in life. Their solidarity and support helped reinforce my course of action and some of them pledged to give up with me. When I arrived at work in the morning I announced my decision to stop smoking to my fellow workers and at the next staff meeting we decided to ban smoking in the office.
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Over the following months I noticed that both my sense of smell and taste were returning. I never realised that I had lost them. Food took on a new dimension as I re-appreciated the subtleties of aroma and flavour that I had been missing out on for so long. My habitual morning cough disappeared and my general fitness improved.
Although I had been a smoker for over twenty years I found the process of stopping painless. Failure was never an option - I love life too much to leave it all behind. I sorry I didn't give up years ago. I apologise to you all.
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Exclusive Featured Serial on www.thisisUll.com
Articles Final Part Seven - Diaries From Detox, days 13, 14
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I realise, talking to the new admissions, how far I've come in just two weeks. Gone is the over-exaggerated buoyancy and drivel which falls from the mouth of an alcohol dependent.
Read more...
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Articles - Truth Is Seldom Stranger Than Fiction
by Trevor Edge
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Hi. My name is Todd Everspawn, or rather it could be, because I'm here today to talk about positive lying. I'm sure very few people reading this article, or indeed those taking no interest in it whatsoever, have got through their life to date without telling a lie.
Read more...
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Articles - "We do it our way" By Starpaw
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The reason I love Hull, yes love, the reason why I can remember facts like it was the second most bombed city during the war, or citing famous people who lived or live here is because it's so innately, well, Hull. Plus if we get a brand spanking new bus station, where are all the 20p scrounging townies going to go? Poor buggers ;)
Read more...
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Exclusive Featured Serial on www.thisisUll.com
Articles Part Two - 1973: Super tug to defend fishing fleet
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By John Boldock
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Our job was to steam up to the stern (rear) of the likely victim and try to protect the trawler by forcing the gunboat to veer around and force him past the bows (front bit) of the trawler.
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Articles
- My September 11th 2001
By Mo
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I'd spent the better part of my working life in Wall Street, having migrated over on the software developer slave trade back in the early 1990's, so Manhattan was in effect my second home, and I had often cause to visit clients in various floors of the nearby twin towers.
Read more...
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Fashion - Looking Good for a Makeover at Les Ciseaux
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by Cilla
Les Ciseaux Salon is jointly owned and run by sisters Karen Grant and Cheryl Boulton, aided by Jeannie. Karen is a stylist with 19 years experience in the business and it was her job to make my hair look gorgeous! Cheryl, the salons resident beauty therapist was going to do her best with my face!
Read more...
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Poetry - How do I compare thee & Repetition
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By By Sandy Jones
It's a mystery to me that when
The heart cries out Oh not again,
And you find yourself back in that place
Where you were once in pains embrace,
But from that spot you ventured forth
Read more...
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Poetry - A thing of dreams & The only mark I wear (for you)
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By Jason Karlson
Many a night a knight will rescue you
But that’s not me my love
I am his proud white stead below
Speed you from the darkness with
Love written across my flank
And every mile I run
Read more...
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Interviews - Who Are the Renegade Writers?
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Lee explains "The group is based on honesty, openness, a place where expression is not limited by shame, but encouraged, without boundaries."
"Sex, drugs, rock and Roll, it's about expressing life's energy!" Nick continues.
Read more...
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