Exclusive Feature Serial on www.thisisUll.com There IS Life After Alcohol - Part 1 By Squirrel

Part 2

After visiting thisisUll.com My only visit to Hull was with a house-mate while at college - taking in the Hull fair and riding a couple of the rides. The 'Enterprise ' and a loop the loop one I seem to recall after a few of the amber nectars many moons ago. I was interested in the article 'Diary from a detox'.

I will explain a little about myself. I am a fellow sufferer of what has been proven to be an abnormality in the body's chemistry and is classified by a large proportion of Doctors as an illness or Disease. This illness is known to many as Alcoholism.

Most bigoted members of society associate Alcoholism with dirty macs, park benches and bottles of all sorts wrapped in brown paper bags. Don't worry, I'm not having ago at the small minded members of society because until I learnt about alcoholism that's how I viewed it.

I thought I couldn't be an alcoholic despite almost losing my previous job, almost being kicked out by my ex-partner who stood by me through thick and thin even when I lost my car licence for a year, and having numerous accidents on a motorbike, in a car and walking.

This illness spans the mental and physical. Mentally it tells me I can drink like any normal person (whatever that's like in this day and age). The disease tells me I haven't got it even though my body craved when I first stopped drinking. Physically, if I was to take a drink today I would set in motion the bodies cravings so I have to remind myself that I am dealing with a killer illness. I would drink until I collapsed or be run over or knocked down or, god forbid, if I was to drive under the influence, kill someone else as well as myself. continued below..

Exclusive Feature Serial on www.thisisUll.com There IS Life After Alcohol - Part 1 continued By Squirrel

I am one of the lucky few who are dealing with recovery from this disease/illness. I know that I cannot be cured, not yet. The medics have only recently started treating it as an illness - and maybe the medics who are suffering from this illness themselves could be in denial - to themselves and their patients. Maybe the majority of the medical profession doesn't want to officially recognise alcoholism as a mental & physical illness, because perhaps they would have to recognise the illness within themselves!

Yes, there are opposites and ironies. I can look at people I work with today (not through choice in some cases) and see how differently I see life's problems. I feel I can accept life on life's terms and make the best of a bad or awkward situation.

When I stopped I was promised that I would change and that my life would get better. I wasn't promised when and by how much. My life has got better. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it but I have to sit back and take stock and be thankful for what I do have: A life free of guilt and remorse. Not waking up in the morning with a muzzy head hating to have to go into work.

I don't own a property but share a flat. Possessions aren't great but they serve their purpose. Computer for communicating, banking and having fun. This year I bought a couple of surfboards and am now surfing.

I also bought a couple of guitars whilst on travels for work and am trying to get back into playing music / writing again. That's something I gave up when I was drinking and smoking some weed because I thought in my head, ' I'm drinking and smoking because of the music'. Not because of the illness. I sold my guitars and amps to pay bills and to fund drinking. When I had taken away or given up everything I was left with myself and the drink and the drink almost won. Two years after I stopped drinking my father died. He had suffered a sudden heart attack three days before. A year later I split from my partner because I felt I was on the verge of taking a drink.

I am not ashamed to say that My Sobriety was more important than my family. At present my sobriety comes first. Then I can be whatever I want to be for my children. If I'm drunk all the time they won't benefit from anything I do. And I don't want them to walk along the street and see me in the gutter. That's where I'll be if I drink. So although it might seem selfish, it's not. This way, everyone around me will benefit through my attitude without a drink in me.

Ok, then about six months after leaving my 'ex', a job came along that I couldn't turn down. I had been operating machinery in a furniture factory for six and a half years with no prospect of promotion. A job was advertised for a designer at an exhibition company which I applied for. I didn't get the design job but a couple of weeks later I received a phone call. They were men short for a job and could I go on a 'Build'. Three stands to build in under a week, three teams of two.

I jumped at the chance and found out the job was in the South of France. I am now about to embark on my third annual visit there. The circumstances that followed were bizarre ....

Next Part 2

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