Some Call it Godcore (Keeping God on Message) By Jim Higo

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Breakfast with Frost is compulsive viewing in our house on a Sunday morning, although for all the wrong reasons. It started a couple of years ago when Frosty began to look decidedly frail and weak and was absent from his sofa more often than not. This created lengthy debate on just how long his occupancy of this mortal coil might continue for and many bets were struck and wagered (we've all done it).

Frosty's theme tune was met with tasteless tension as we waited to see if he had survived another week. The sight of John Humphrys or David Dimbleby brought a manic and morbid checking of ceefax for the obituary headline (that was the life that was is my bet) and the subsequent settling of debts outstanding.

Still with us however, Frosty is now the Godfather, or perhaps more the Queen Mother, of political satire and while he may not be as vibrant and cutting as he was in the sixties, he does still occasionally have the cerebral capability to throw the odd (and lets face it they're all odd) politician off guard. Questioning Tony Blair on the SE Asia Tsunami, he touched on the role that God might have played in the disaster and whether he (that's God not Tony; there is a difference) might have been better disposed to prevent it.

Blair's ironed on, pinned back smile began to twitch and he stuttered incomprehensibly for a good few seconds before replying that, perhaps David might be better putting that question to someone more knowledgeable. A good answer and a principle that, in my opinion, ought to be applied to every question that is put to the PM.

But it got me wondering about Blair and his well publicised, yet seldom questioned faith. Blair is a committed Christian who keeps a bible by his bed, this I assume is used to fend off the amorous advances of Cherie, (it says here, Thou shalt not fornicate especially with a no necked minger like you). On his faith, Blair has been constantly shackled by his advisors and spin doctors and prevented from openly voicing his views.

Alistair Campbell famously told a group of journos that We don't do religion clearly fearful of the PM committing some kind of Glenn Hoddle style gaffe that might ruin his career (that's Campbell's not Blair's). More recently the PM was prevented by advisors from ending his pre Iraq invasion address with the words God Bless You.

But more and more Blair is believed to be looking to God for answers to the political questions of the day. Rumour has it that he has discovered the perfect way to defeat his advisors and introduce God into government, literally. Expect to hear the announcement soon Cabinet reshuffle - Straw out, God in. According to my limited biblical knowledge (Crowle Street Sunday School), Jesus wouldn't have stood a chance under Blair's regime.

He didn't do his first miracle until he was 30 (and then only because he wanted to get pissed), so under Blair's new deal he would have been labelled an idler and packed off on a retraining project under the threat of immediate cessation of benefits.

While there he would be given essential life skills, because it's one thing being able to walk on water but you're not going to get anywhere in this world if you can't type your CV onto a word document and save it. God though is a completely different matter, but just what would happen if these two messianic majesties were to collide. How would Tony cope with having God in his cabinet and what moves would he take to ensure that he stayed on message?

I can't help but think that there is only room for one omnipotent being in any cabinet and it might not be too long before Tony found his faith wearing a bit thin. This is how I see God's fall from grace occurring. Tony calls the almighty into the cabinet office for a chat-

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