Woe is Me - I Live in Hull By Allen Miles

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Here are some interesting statistics: Hull has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe, Hull has the highest intravenous drug use in England (only Edinburgh has more in Great Britain), and Hull officially has THE WORST SCHOOLS IN THE COUNTRY. Do the council seriously think that their pathetic town is going to garner any respect across the nation when they haven't addressed these issues? And a final point, some may think it flippant I know, but Hull is the largest city in Europe, probably the world, to have never had a top-flight football team.

Perhaps the worst thing about Hull though, is the way it looks. If there is a more litter strewn, vandalized, boarded-up settlement in the whole of the British Isles then I've never been there. The city centre end of Anlaby Road is perhaps the most depressing sight of all. Almost every shop is barricaded, there are dozens of smashed windows and there is no colour anywhere. It all seems so grey, everything is grey.

A friend of mine lives down a particularly unpleasant region of West Hull called Woodcock Street and the Off License down there actually has two panes of bullet proof glass between the server and the customer. It looks like a coat check desk at a prison.

One might argue back with the fact that Queens Gardens is beautiful, well I refer you to the letters page of the Hull Daily Mail last Wednesday, when a woman told of how, on her walk home from work through the city centre park she observed a group of adolescent thugs mercilessly slaughtering a defenceless duck with a plank of wood. And they were laughing. Obviously I have no idea who these evil wastes of vital organs were, but if they're reading this (which they won't be) I want you to know I hope you all die very soon in the most painful and torturous way possible.

Now I am hoping that this article will provoke a response and a few people will set out to prove me wrong, but it probably won't happen. On the points I have raised I know I am right and I will argue these matters until I am blue in the face.

I hate this town. I hate the vast majority of the people who live in this town. I hate the fact that there is no desire to learn or be creative. I hate the way this town quashes your ambitions at such an early age. But most of all, I hate how cynical, negative and pessimistic this town has made the person who wrote this article. And the day I steel myself to take a deep breath and leave this hell-hole will be the best day of my life.

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