Eat Your End of an Era Continued (2/3) By Joe Hakim

1/3, 2/3, 3/3

Meet someone in Buzz bar and score some drugs. Take some and then hide the rest in my boxer shorts. Go into the club and stay up all night guzzling water and drugs. Babble shit to a stranger and jip like a bulldog. Be slowly deafened by the music and start to reach a fundamental understanding about the true nature of the universe. Lose it at the last second, forget what I'm thinking just as I'm about to have an epiphany, and eat some more pills to compensate.

Leave the club and go back to someone's flat and smoke dope until the sun comes up to ease the crash landing. Endure long blank moments of silence and discomfort. Go home, get ready and go to a pub and drink pints and feel like a lizard. Argue with a stranger for reasons that escape you at the time.

Repeat. No sleep till Sunday night. Get up Monday morning, get ready and go to work. Repeat.

You can't keep that shit up week in, week out. Well you can, but it fucks you up eventually. I started to get tired of the music and feeling like death every Wednesday. Not only that, but when you get down to it, you realise Ecstasy is an ugly drug. You may feel the love of all humanity spreading throughout your very being, but you look the bastard offspring of the village idiot. Your jaw moves entirely of its own free will, giving you the overbite from Hell. You sweat profusely yet you feel the need to hug everybody. Your eyes roll back and you shiver. You're having a great night but your affections are as about as welcome as kipper's.

It was getting boring. Something had to give. My mate and I arrive at Ringside. I order a pint of Stella and a Jack D chaser, straight, no ice, and my mate gets another WKD blue. We go and sit outside so we can roll a joint. It's been a while since you've had a night like this, my mate says. Yeah, I say. I got sick of it. I get bored easy, y'know? I don't like to follow scenes. I'm into all kinds of shit.

I don't think of it like that, I just love it, me, my mate says. But then again, it's because I like me music fuckin' chonkin', y'know what I mean? I like puttin' a tune on that makes everyone go fuckin' nuts, and then I think to mesen, Yeah, I've fuckin' done that, and I stand back and appreciate the madness.' Rab and Caligula arrive. They shout from across the road, and bound over. I can tell by their strange crab-like movements that they are already blasted out of their brains on god knows what. Hey, Rab shouts. Caligula looks like he's just escaped from somewhere, and he grins maniacally as he approaches. They're both panting heavily by the time they reach us. I've known Rab and Caligula for years. Their weekend routine has stayed pretty much intact the entire time I've known them. How's it goin'? I ask. Good, good, Rab says. I'm takin' it easy tonight, I've just had a line of Ket and a few pills, not much. Do you want owt? he asks. He is out of his fucking head.

Nah, I say, and I pass him the joint. We talk for a bit about this and that, and I have another pint. At one point Rab disappears to the toilet. He returns red faced and wheezing, and we start to talk about some shit. Mid-conversation he turns his head and projectile vomits a stream of puke about five feet across the road, then turns his head back, gulps the rest of his Barcardi Breezer in a single swig and then resumes talking.

I smile and nod, but I'm not really listening because of what I've just witnessed. Rab doesn't mention it, and the conversation grinds to a halt because I'm at a loss for words.

My mate says, Fuck it. Let's get our arses in there. Everyone must have seen Rab's big spit, but no one says anything. We enter Welly and I want to say something but I decide not to. I don't want to be the one that brings it up…

I was sat in my flat one day. I was working sporadically, but the weekend excess made my moods into mid-morning soap-opera material. I took Seroxat and smoked pot in an effort to redress the balance of my brain chemistry. The Telly was on, but the sound was turned down because I was reading and listening to music.

thisisUll.com Continued .. Next Page

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