Unfinished Theories Part 2 By Andrea Longstaff

Part 1

Hasn't anyone noticed how the beautiful word banana has been hijacked? Not only has it been hijacked but it has also been cleverly changed by the little known boffins at the surreptitiously titled banana brigade. Was no one looking as this other word was cunningly planted into our lovely language? I think that a misprint occurred in 200 thousand copies of the Collins English dictionary and that banana was misspelt as bandana.

Rather than discard these copies, the word bandana was formulated to mean a large silk or cotton handkerchief or neckerchief. It was obviously a slip of the finger and things have just spiralled out of control.

It's now a worldwide conspiracy. Eminen is in on this scam, making a fortune from this typing error. The moshers are also in on this conspiracy. We need to reclaim this wonderful word meaning, any of several tropical and subtropical treelike plants. Not satisfied with hijacking the banana word it has also been grossly misused. This started in the 80's with the movie Beverly Hills Cop.

For example remember the line The banana in the tail pipe - the true star of this movie. Eddie Murphy stole the star billing, get outa here!

Cbeebies have also cottoned on, Bananas in Pyjamas, our little ones now believe that bananas walk about in night wear. This is a gross misrepresentation of this beautiful fruit. Then there's Banana Man, a yellow superhero with a voice suspiciously like Graeme Garden! No! We will loose the banana word forever if this conspiracy continues!

Where will it all end?

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