Exclusive Feature Serial on www.thisisUll.com Part Four - Where Are All Our Mothers: - Adopted in Hull By Diane Previous   Part Three.   Part Two.   Part One.

It took many cups of coffee and a brave heart to open this letter that had been in my shaking hand for hours after it arrived. Terrible thoughts of, 'What if she denies me, hates me, has awful stuff to tell me about the life I never had'. All negative stuff, no room for a happy ending or the remotest thought of open loving arms.

Well I was wrong, very wrong. Even now I have tears in my eyes remembering the warmest of feelings, when I read those tender words from a beautiful lady who didn't know a single thing about me. She was gentle and curious and she too had many questions now that she needed answers for. She too felt that some of her life had been missing and was kept from her and wondered how she came to the age of 48 and didn't know she had a sister 14 years younger. I couldn't wait to meet her but it wasn't to be. Not yet. We had to absorb what had happened and to tell other members of both our families and try to explain the unexplainable to my new brother and other sister who also did not have a clue about my existence.

My brother was apparently thrilled and he too wanted a meet just as much as me. So after many letters and a lot of catching up, the date was set. I will always recall that June so very well. The sun was shining and the day was mine. We laughed at the thought of wearing a red carnation and a cheeky smile. We didn't need either because as soon as we saw one another the scene was set.

We fell into each others arms and fitted like a pair of well worn gloves. At last the jigsaw was complete. We stared each other up and down and offered no offence. We compared moles and eyes and silly stuff like shapes of noses and even toes. We were so funny and both had the same sense of humour. It was crazy. It was like a dream. My brother did get a look in eventually and I felt proud to know I had such a lovely brother who was so clever and so easy to cuddle! All the attributes I had dreamed about. When we talked about the past my sister was so amazed that our mother was pregnant without her even noticing and lots of lost and forgotten memories began to come to the surface. Mother hid it all so well and I think we all felt so sorry for her to go through all her life so on her own without being able to share this with any one, even to the day she died. She was also a very clever, kind and loving lady. I was glad to know that. I was glad that I came from a good family with good skin (quote from my sister)! Before we bade farewell and promised we would keep this family strong and together, we all agreed this was a happy day.

As I drove away I began to cry and when I was out of sight I pulled in for a moment to collect my thoughts and get myself together. I started to feel deprived and hurt that I didn't get the chance to grow up with those lovely respectable people I'd just met. Then I remembered my own mam and dad - the only ones that I'd known and loved. My gorgeous dad and the fun childhood that I'd had. My little adopted sister and my sweet loving mam who died too young. I wouldn't swap any of them for the whole world and my memories are so very precious.

The family I have now, my true blood, are mine today and forever till the day I die. I feel so lucky; so special because years have gone by again and my sister and I are very close and have so much in common. We share so much and are building memories of our own. On my 40th birthday she gave me the best present that hangs on my wall, the picture of our mother. I love my sister with all my heart, almost as if I have always loved her. It feels so good.

If there are people out there who've gone to hell and back searching a world for their lost mother, it's got to be easier now. It can be easier for anyone, if you are an adopted child or even a lost mother. My advice to you is to talk about it, get it off your chest and share it. There are professional friends out there who do want to know, who can help these days. The world has changed now and there is a hand out there willing to take a hold of yours and you never know it could be your mother just waiting .... The End.

www.thisisUll.com would like to thank Diane for this moving and powerful piece of writing about her own life experiences.

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