Welcome to "Ask Dorothy" on www.thisisUll.com a place where you can ask Dorothy for advice or answers to anything that's bothering you. Email your problem questions to Dorothy at dorothy@thisisull.com More Problems   Home Page    Page 1.    Page 2.    Page 3.

Dear Dorothy, I seriously need your help! A few years ago I made friends with an older lad whilst on the summer holidays from school. I was 16 at the time and I must admit I did fancy him a lot. We were getting quite close and I wrote him a few personal letters about things which were troubling me as I couldn't talk about them. A week after he read these letters, another girl decided that she liked him too. He betrayed my trust by showing her these letters which she showed all of our friends. Last weekend I saw this guy for the first time since. I was happy to see him, yeah, but I still feel angry towards him although I didn't show it. I now think that he might want to get close to me again but I am still hurting. What should I do? I'm already wary of men because of various incidents with the wrong kind and I'm scared to let them in. Please help me.

Dorothy replies Dear sweet girl, Dorothy says this to you - what a very sensitive lovie you are. There aren't many left like you around these days you know. I'm proud you wrote to me to share your little something. I'm sorry to hear that the shameless pair betrayed you and hurt your feelings in such a way. I agree it's unforgivable but time goes on and whatever you wrote is done now. If this man has shown you the eye again then either he wants to make amends or he's an insensitive twit (forgive my French) and only you can find this out for yourself if you want to. I don't blame you not wanting to let men in but there comes a time in our silly little lives when we just can't help ourselves (tut). Go on, let him in! I had to let one or two in mine and I can only advise you of a few important facts: 1. STAY in control. 2. Never let him drink, smoke and gamble. 3. Always make him know a woman isn't a real woman if she hasn't over 10 pairs of shoes to her name (I love shoes). And if he ever dares to stay out late I have a very fine frying pan. He'll not go out again in a hurry. Remember that life wouldn't be designed the way it is without a little pain, so sit on it and decide what you want to do. Good luck with the frying pan! Regards Dorothy

Dear Dorothy, I recently went to a concert with a friend but had to sit down all the way through leaving my friend to dance on her own. I feel awful about leaving her alone but I have really bad legs. Maybe I'm just lazy but I can't stand for long periods of time! I'm only 19 please help!! Chairbound and depressed!

Dorothy replies My dear child, 19 years of age and you sat down for the entire concert, when instead you should’ve been swinging your hips screaming and shouting getting as drunk as a skunk and making a proper fool of yourself? WHY? Because you are allowed to. If ever I start getting over excited at the local Darby and Joan club, many say ‘act your age’. How can a 98 year old woman like me act her blooming age? What do they expect for goodness’ sake Anyhow, Miss Chairbound and Depressed, it’s time to get your own style of life together. There will be a local wheelchair club somewhere down town. Just go along there and find out for yourself what it’s really like to sit all day, and they’re not being lazy. Our Mabel goes twice a week and has loads of fun - you need to use your energy now at concerts etc. so your body can accept the abuse the youth of today inflicts on ones self. then if you want to know what real depression is, then go to your local library and look up the 1st and 2nd World Wars. THAT’S depression. And I could spend all day chatting about it and we would both be roaring our eyes out - but let’s go on a happier note, live your life to the full lass. Live it for today. It’s true when they say you never know what’s round the corner and I expect there is a lot of love round that corner, lovie. from Dotty

Dear Dorothy, Could you give me any advice on menopause? How did you cope? My husbands thinks I need help specially with my sex drive? I havent got one! I have always had a good sex live, did you when you were in yours 50s? We seem a very knowledgeable person. I wait for your reply soon from BT

Dorothy replies Dear BT, Oh dear lassie-you're taking me back a long while now. A time when I was rock'n rolling, snogging on the back row and eating fish'n chips out of good old greasy newspaper-and long before separate beds, home care calling and falling asleep after lunch for our ritual afternoon naps. Hanky panky as I remember, went on in the bedroom next to mothers when she'd been on the gin-my how things have changed? Menopause-it's quite simple really it's called the change of life and that is exactly what it is. So take heed of who you are and become who ever you want to be and that is the secret in the bedroom sweetie. My advice is to go down town, I've heard there is a nice little ladies shop owned by a lovely lass called Ann summers. buy yourself a new 2 piece, go home and get that hubby of yours nice and comfy (not too comfy) as they do tend to nod off on occasion,. snuggle up close, close your eyes and imagine…..imagine you are Doris Day and he is big Frank (Sinatra) then let nature take it's course-if this fails lovely then it's back to the pantry for you and your menopause, I've heard that beetroot is a good aphrodisiac.. good luck on your journey love Dot.

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