Welcome to "Ask Dorothy" on www.thisisUll.com a place where you can ask Dorothy for advice or answers to anything that's bothering you. Email your problem questions to Dorothy at dorothy@thisisull.com More Problems   Home Page    Page 1.    Page 2.    Page 3.

Dear John

Dear Dorothy, May I first say you're wonderful! Here's my problem... My two daughters, aged 24 and 22, have to vacate their apartment and are moving back to live with us for a while (Jan 2005). Our house is small and conditions will be a bit cramped. I don't support my older daughter at all as she is in a full-time job. I pay her share of the apartment rent for my younger daughter ($110 pw) and give her some food money ($30). She is a student and has a part-time, secure job bringing in a minimum of $150 clear pw. Seeing both are earning, I have asked them to pay towards extra costs (food, elect., water, laundry). My older daughter is more than happy to pay $50 to cover her costs. She wanted to pay more but I don't want to be making money out of her. My younger daughter has a very different approach. She is FURIOUS that I should be charging her "rent" (I'm asking $30 from her). She's a great saver and is hell-bent on buying a car and does not see why her PARENTS should be so mercenary. NONE OF HER FRIENDS' PARENTS ARE LIKE THIS! To me, even if her living costs would be no financial burden (which is not the case as we're not that flush), it's the principle that it's not right to FREELOAD that I believe in. So I'm sticking to my guns and now it looks like she's going to boycott Christmas day with us! Kind regards, John

Dorothy replies Dear John She sounds a bit spoilt to me and you do right to stick to your guns - hopefully loaded! I think there are a few more obstacles coming your way. Families, eh? Who needs them? I mean you really don't expect them to come back after they eventually get the hell out of the parental prison zone. They must be mad and you madder to let them through the door. They're more trouble when they're older as you are about to find out, John! My advice is to get a small apartment to rent, make money on those 2 daughters and you get the hell out of there and enjoy your grown up life without children! Dorothy

Cheeky Monkey

Dear Dorothy, My problem is every time I see old folk I start shouting really offensive things at them. It's awful because I saw an old woman on a website and started bawling at the screen. Bye for now, Katie xxx

Dorothy replies Dear Katie Shout away! I can't hear you anyway and neither can all the other old sods but if it makes you feel better in yourself, then carry on. Ever thought of learning sign language because I know a few signs you will certainly understand if I see you across the road, young lady! Yours Dots

My Mums Boyfriend

Dear Dorothy, My Mum and Dad split up and recently my Dad re-married, but I don't like the idea of my mum having a boy friend, I sabotage any possible relationship because I DON'T WANT MY MUM TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Please help. Love Rooty Tooty xxx

Dorothy replies Hey Rooty Tooty I can only imagine the tricks you get up to when mummy brings a friend home. You sound like a very scared young person who needs to let her mum have a grown up cuddle. Besides, your dad is having plenty. In the end, if you don't stop the silliness, you will be a very lonely uncuddled Rooty Tooty. Now, help your mum to choose a suitable boyfriend that you can gain from too. Believe me, when you are grown up and wanting to go out to exciting places and mummy is alone - she will insist on coming with you, everywhere. What a nightmare, eh? Cramp your style, embarrass your friends ... I'm telling you - get her partnered off and stop this nonsense now! Love Dorothy

My life is ruined

Dear Dorothy, writing to you is a last resort. I am so depressed I could kill myself. Last year I spent all summer with my dad converting our garage into a practice room for our band. We had weeks of great weather, barbecues - me, my girlfriend and my buddies all shared this great close bond. It was the happiest time of my life...or so I thought. Everything started to go wrong, my mates started ignoring me one by one, my bandmates all left and the final crushing blow was when I found out my best friend had bonked my girlfriend behind my back. I put on a brave face but I just want to die, Help me. Vam

Dorothy replies Dearest Vam, Please don't use me has a last resort!! Is there any wonder you are this depressed? If you had found me a little earlier I may have saved you from indulging so far into THIS depression. It is like a big fat dairy milk chocolate possibly with nuts, yes VAM (STRANGE NAME)that is exactly what depression is!!! Now ask yourself, why the band is ignoring you? Have you been showing off and doing a Shakin' Stevens on stage or dropping your pants like Jimmy Morrison or simply this, ARE YOU A CRAP singer? Sorry lad but c'mon only you know the real truth. If you need a little help starting up another band perhaps I can help. A few of the fella's at our bingo on Monday nights are thinking just the same. Albert plays the organ, Reg plays the spoons, Walter plays a merry tune on the Ukulele and Harry does something very strange on the Didgeridoo - and am not so bad on the vocals myself! Now, as for that little trollop you called your girl friend get rid of her as she is just no good for you. She has kicked you when you were down. So Vam, what is that short for? Get your instrument out give it a good rub a nice big blow and have a jolly good play and remember music is the best remedy and chocolate is only a very second best. Good luck Vam (WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT NAME?) Love and kisses Big Star Dotty Girl xx

Dear Dorothy, I have recently been reading letters of a helpful lady on the internet offering help to people. She is so kind and I think I am falling in love with her. She is beautiful, kind and helpful although she is older than me I can't stop thinking about her. I am 21 and she is 98. I know we would get looked at but would you like to go for a drink? M

Dorothy replies Dearest M, At last a boy with good taste, jolly good eye sight and a brilliant sense of humour! What do you take me for? A lassie (don't think so) who was born yesterday? I seriously think you need to seek professional help my lad. Go out for a drink with you? 1- I'm in a blessed wheel chair, 2 - Who'd look after me budgie? And 3 - My decent coat's at the dry cleaners! Are you serious about this? Have you given this much thought? Asking an old lady out on a date is a very serious request. I mean, come on, imagine it, you and me going to the Welly on EAT YOUR WORDS night? How would you get me up the stairs and to be perfectly frank and I don't mean to offend but could you keep it up? I'm sorry to let you down and I am trying to be kind, but even if my best coat was out of the cleaners I couldn't go out with you as I'm seeing someone at the moment and I wouldn't dream of two timing him. So don't be too heart-broken, sonny. There are plenty of other old Dotties who would love a night out on the town with a nice young man but remember one thing, they must be back by 8.30 for cocoa and bed! Sorry son love always Dorothy xx

Continued....next page